(no subject)
I'm so overwhelmed with emotions and chaos. and emotional chaos. Maybe it's cause i'm PMSing. my period is late. I'm really fucking stressed out. I blew up on corey the other ngiht. the whole weekend we've been fighting. it's like we're both pmsing. it's miserable. I think we need some time alone but i have no where to go. Id on't get along with my family. Everyone is an asshole, I've learned this lesson several times but i have too much of a heart.
I want to get back into church because that helped me keep grounded and to manage my stress levels. I want to have time to myself to do my things that keeps me in check with who i am and what i stand for. As much as i like corey, i'm starting to drift from crystal and who I am. I haven't been to church in a while and that is NOt like me. I'm happy to have heard from two people last time i went that they were praying for me. It was like they could tell Im going through a rough time. This wednesday, im going to get back into my church routine. If corey wants to go, great but if not, im still going. i just checked the church calendar and of course there's no church for the next 3 wednesdays. sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im so incredibly stressed to i feel like im going to hit a break down like any day now. with school starting next week and the classes so hard, i dont know what im going to do. im glad im just downt o writing my personal statement for pharmcas before i submit. then i need to fill out UF's application, then their supplemental, then Nova's supplemental and then whatever LECOM wants. AND i need to buy books. oh man im broke already. i just feel like sleeping forever to escape it all. plus everyone is fighting with me everywhere. At work. Corey. My "family". Customers. I just want to get away from everything and just have a little ME TIME for fucks sake!!! I want to just have some time to myself and read the bible and do what I want without hearing anything from ANYONE. but i can' escape to this shitty house because i dont get peace and quiet, i get yelled at and i get chaos and im just so sick of everything i just know im going to have a melt down soon. I feel incredibly depressed..
maybe this is just my hormones talking. hopefully cause i just feel like im losing it. i HATE the fucking pressure!
I want to get back into church because that helped me keep grounded and to manage my stress levels. I want to have time to myself to do my things that keeps me in check with who i am and what i stand for. As much as i like corey, i'm starting to drift from crystal and who I am. I haven't been to church in a while and that is NOt like me. I'm happy to have heard from two people last time i went that they were praying for me. It was like they could tell Im going through a rough time. This wednesday, im going to get back into my church routine. If corey wants to go, great but if not, im still going. i just checked the church calendar and of course there's no church for the next 3 wednesdays. sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im so incredibly stressed to i feel like im going to hit a break down like any day now. with school starting next week and the classes so hard, i dont know what im going to do. im glad im just downt o writing my personal statement for pharmcas before i submit. then i need to fill out UF's application, then their supplemental, then Nova's supplemental and then whatever LECOM wants. AND i need to buy books. oh man im broke already. i just feel like sleeping forever to escape it all. plus everyone is fighting with me everywhere. At work. Corey. My "family". Customers. I just want to get away from everything and just have a little ME TIME for fucks sake!!! I want to just have some time to myself and read the bible and do what I want without hearing anything from ANYONE. but i can' escape to this shitty house because i dont get peace and quiet, i get yelled at and i get chaos and im just so sick of everything i just know im going to have a melt down soon. I feel incredibly depressed..
maybe this is just my hormones talking. hopefully cause i just feel like im losing it. i HATE the fucking pressure!