three. sir hubert says hello. sort of.
[HEY BARGE. IT'S SIR HUBERT DE VILERS, PETRONILLA'S LOVING FATHER-IN-LAW. He's managed to turn on the camera, but he doesn't really know how to use it, and so for a good minute or two he's staring into it like it's a mirror.]
Damned thing. [He pats down his wild greying hair and beard, still peering into the screen.] Gilbert would know how to use ( Read more... )
Damned thing. [He pats down his wild greying hair and beard, still peering into the screen.] Gilbert would know how to use ( Read more... )
[He can fake deep indignation pretty damn well, especially if it's for posterity.]
And what has Lady Petronilla done that you say such things about her? I cannot imagine that she truly deserves such contempt. I suspect the true problem is that you bear contempt for everyone, especially women.
[Thinking: That's right, give me some tantalizing information while I'm pretending to be chivalrous...]
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[Duh. And now on to more important matters-]
WHAT HAS THAT MADWOMAN DONE?! WHAT HAS SHE DONE! [oh boy, a rage approaches...] NEARLY RUINED THE DE VILERS NAME, THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DONE!
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Do you know what happens when you don't let them speak? Things go wrong that men are apparently too stupid to notice on our own. Next thing you know, she does start talking. She talks, and she talks, and by the time she's done you realize that the gist of it is that she's going away. That you have driven her away.
But I suppose you're a bit simple minded for such an explanation. No matter. Suffice it to say that I do not agree with you. Some women I would gladly listen to for hours.
Yes, what has she done? Clearly you need a chance to air your feelings on the matter, but...how could she possibly be that bad?
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[Sir Hubert frowns.] I'm not telling a stranger. Go and charm SOMEBODY ELSE.
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And I chose fine brides who did need to talk and never had the chance. Insult their memory at your peril.
And you must have been lucky enough not to experience such a loss if you say "so be it". I praise your wife in absentia for her patience.
Hmph. I thought you wanted to warn us about Petronilla. But so be it. I can only guess that you are the sort who thinks no woman would be good enough for his son anyway.
Which, thinking about it, I cannot really blame you for. That is your blood. But...Petronilla does not seem so terrible.
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Listen, you great fop, I know Petronilla de Broc. That woman's mother wasn't quite right and her father was a liar and a cheat. You think what you want, I'm just giving you fair warning.
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You haven't given me anything resembling a fair warning yet, anyway. You've only ranted on and given no actual accounting. [He drums his fingers together.] You have no manners, you have no credibility, you are loud, offensive, insulting and brash, and you clearly have a problem with the entire feminine sex! Why should anyone believe you?
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