Hard Things to Do
I finally managed to get a cleaner in. We probably can't afford him as often as I'd like, but they did a good job at what I asked them to do. Not everything is quite back in place, but that's on me. I didn't think to say anything when they were here.
Having a hysterectomy in a few weeks is freaking me out a little. Good-bye uterus and my last ovary. No children for me.
I've been pushing into the edge of getting very hungry before eating. There are some good points and some bad points to this. One of the bad ones is when I finally get to the point off needing to eat, I need to have something easy at hand. I get very shaky. I am determined to be under 300lbs at my weigh in today, if not under the slightly lower %10 of my starting weight last April. I haven't hit any new goals in the weight loss since August, and I've worked very, very hard for this one. I'm still so scared to eat, because of salt being one of the things that causes me to bloat up. How else can I explain gaining 8lbs from when I woke up to 5:30pm? It's so frustrating.
Loneliness has made me look back at my past in a different way. Trying to mend a few things. Maybe. It's all so emotional to me, and I cannot really tell what part of the past hurt is really upsetting me. I know there is pain in talking to this one particular person, but I am having a very hard time judging.
This entry is cross-posted from http://dame-grise.dreamwidth.org/551840.html. If you wish to comment there, try OpenID or ask me for an invite code.
Having a hysterectomy in a few weeks is freaking me out a little. Good-bye uterus and my last ovary. No children for me.
I've been pushing into the edge of getting very hungry before eating. There are some good points and some bad points to this. One of the bad ones is when I finally get to the point off needing to eat, I need to have something easy at hand. I get very shaky. I am determined to be under 300lbs at my weigh in today, if not under the slightly lower %10 of my starting weight last April. I haven't hit any new goals in the weight loss since August, and I've worked very, very hard for this one. I'm still so scared to eat, because of salt being one of the things that causes me to bloat up. How else can I explain gaining 8lbs from when I woke up to 5:30pm? It's so frustrating.
Loneliness has made me look back at my past in a different way. Trying to mend a few things. Maybe. It's all so emotional to me, and I cannot really tell what part of the past hurt is really upsetting me. I know there is pain in talking to this one particular person, but I am having a very hard time judging.
This entry is cross-posted from http://dame-grise.dreamwidth.org/551840.html. If you wish to comment there, try OpenID or ask me for an invite code.