Tombstones. I know how one will read.
Maria
Beloved Wife
Beloved Daughter
Inattentive Pedestrian
My wonderful wife unfortunately cannot safely traverse the streets of the city. We were out for about 30 minutes this morning and I almost had a fit.
We were (jaywalking) crossing the street and she failed to look twice coming from between the stopped cars. This nearly resulted in her getting creamed by a, thankfully, attentive motorcyclist. She isn't clumsy yet she trips on, well, every tiny imperfection or bump in the sidewalk. Several weeks ago while walking past the supermarket on the corner of our street she whacked her foot/shoe/toes into a metal plate affixed to the sidewalk which has an upraised corner. This wouldn't be that much of a big deal but the thing predates our having moved in here almost three years ago! So. Today. After I reprimanded her about not paying attention and the fact that she's going to trip and fall under an oncoming bus one day we're approaching the metal plate. I REMINDED her it was there. Not 10 steps later guess what happens? No need really. Her toes went up. The sole of her shoe went under. One chunk of a little toe later and we're limping up the street. I'd have been a bit more sympathetic but I told her it was there.
My wife is going to make me a widower!