Reid had been taking a second to work up the nerve to knock on the (weirdly ominous-looking) door of the old Daley house - more than a second, really, seeing as he'd been pacing outside for at least a solid five minutes
( ... )
Of all the times random people could have turned up, Sebastian had to spare a moment to be impressed and shocked at Reid's strangely impeccable timing. Which was in the thirty seconds it took for Sebastian to get annoyed that he was interrupted doing the one thing since he had come back to this place that actually made sense - that was in character.
For a moment, he thought he was going to get off the hook, that Reid would back-peddle himself right back home. Ignoring the part of himself that was starting to hate watching Reid go.
The fierce, narrowed look Reid was sending him was new but not terribly shocking from what Sebastian had heard and put together about him. But it was damn sure going to make this a hell of a lot harder.
"Um." He stumbled over the words briefly, dropping his bags and glancing down at where they landed by his feet. "I was planning on it? I was always planning on it."
Reid was by no means a romantic of any kind. He'd had no real expectations of this being anything more than a glorified hookup (albeit one being chanted for and encouraged by his friends, apparently) and was fully aware that when it came down to it, Sebastian didn't actually owe him anything.
But he also couldn't deny the weird tug at the pit of his stomach he'd gotten to feeling whenever Sebastian's name was mentioned or when he walked into the room. And it had been a rough few days, and he was exhausted and still mildly freaked out and a whole mess of other feelings, and all of them were presently backing up that surge of disbelieving annoyance at the sight of those bags.
He followed Sebastian's gaze down to the luggage as it fell to the floor, then sharply looked back up to him.
"Right. Of course. Great. So you're just- booking it?" He had retreated behind his usual sarcasm, though his tone still rang very much accusatorially.
"It's. Sort of what I do?" That wasn't a question. Why was that a question? It was a fact. Sebastian was transient, bouncing from one job to the next. He didn't stay, just wasn't the type anymore.
Except for the first time in a long time, he was starting to think he wanted to and getting on his own nerves with the amount of times he swore - with less and less conviction - that this was only a temporary stop.
"You had to figure out why I was here. Or Jemma told you." Though, Sebastian was almost certain it was all Reid. He was to astute for Seastian's peace of mind. "Now ... that's over. So."
"Yeah. Burning Man. Oliver." Flippant and flailing and slightly ridiculous as he might be, Reid hadn't been sorted into Ravenclaw on accident. While silly gossip tended to be his focus, mostly for the sake of Skylar's work, few things actually managed to escape him if there was any way for them to be observed. Jemma hadn't had to tell him. He'd been quiet and sneaky and observant enough back at school to know about it for himself.
"So. That's it. You were just- leaving." Whether it came across as more of a statement or a question or a dare, Reid wasn't sure.
Still, he made no move to step away from the guarding stance he had set himself into just a few feet from Sebastian's door step. Arms crossed protectively against his chest, eyes narrowed still, doing his best to ignore the part of him that was crumbling at the idea of this stupid hunk of a man just disappearing from his life.
Sebastian nodded, just a short tilt of the head, tight and controlled like he was most of the time. At least before he came back here. Since he'd set foot back here, he hadn't felt like he could control a damn thing.
One hand motioned vaguely toward some nondistinct point behind Reid, the other coming up to palm the back of his own neck. This shouldn't be so difficult. He shouldn't be wanting to turn around and change him mind. Reid shouldn't have been able to do that to him.
"What do you want me to say here?" Sebastian shrugged his shoulders high and looked down. Seeing Reid was too hard. He was fierce and guarded - something Sebastian usually pushed against until it broke. With Reid, though, it made him want to back up and rethink a few things.
"I never stay long. I haven't been back here for a reason."
"Ever think that maybe those reasons are bullshit?" Reid lashed out before he could help himself.
This was none of his business. He had no right to ask anything of Sebastian, and he knew it, but somehow he still couldn't bring himself to let it go, because the idea of not having him around anymore set something off in his chest that was anything but comfortable.
He shrugged slightly, eyes uncomfortably darting away then back to Sebastian, the facade of annoyance slipping away despite his best attempts to keep it up. But he was too tired for it, and he couldn't deny the hurt feeling tugging at his gut, as pathetic and miserable as it made him feel.
As if this whole situation wasn't tense enough, Sebastian felt Reid's first words like a punch. Clenching his jaw, he bit his lip hard, almsot hoping he'd draw blood just for the distraction.
"I didn't know what to say. I don't... normally there's no one I have anything to say to. I'm there, I do what I'm paid for then I leave. It's easy."
Digging his nails into his neck - and pretending that didn't remind him of Reid in some twisted, Pavlovian kind of way - Sebastian turned to pace back several steps. He didn't bother trying to shut the door or tell Reid to go, even when he turned back around and didn't try to push the point.
"But I came back and ... Jemma turns up to hire me or adopt me or whatever. Which was bad enough. Then you happened."
Reid didn't budge from his spot on the doorstep, just followed Sebastian with his eyes, trying his best to work some semblance of composure back across his features, but then-
Then you happened-
He didn't owe him anything. This was just a silly fling they'd been thrown into. Nothing more. Physical attraction, nothing else. That's all it was-
Try as he might to convince himself, Reid still couldn't help the crushing weight pushing against his chest.
"So why- why can't you just stay, then? Just because it's what you've been doing- I mean, no one's running you out of town- Jems'll be torn up, hell, so will Mr. Dorny-" He wasn't sure whether or not he wanted the 'so will I' he was feeling to be as implied as he felt it was, what with how his voice managed to waver just that slightest tell tale amount-
He didn't have to say it. The expression on Reid's face might as well have screamed it for him. Sebastian wasn't prepared for the way that would hit him - hard and crushing on his chest.
Biting his lip, Sebastian shook his head a few too many times - a poor, failing attempt to make a million thoughts swirling through his head stop.
"I don't... I never came back for a reason, even if you think it's bullshit." He didn't mean to sound snappy, but that tended to be his default setting. Wincing, he reined it in. It didn't help that he was starting to think Reid was right. "I... being here is too much. Even if... Leaving is never this hard. It's not supposed to be. It's what I'm good at. But I'd almost suffer through it just to..." He didn't know how to finish that. To see Reid again? To actually get to know him? To hang onto Jemma and her father?
"Just to what?" It was no recent development nor a secret that Reid's brain routed directly to his mouth, generally bypassing any kind of filtering system. The question sparked in his mind before he could stop himself, and he regretted it as soon as the words were out.
"You know what, nevermind. Forget it. I shouldn't even be here. Do what you want. It's totally not my business-" He forced the best impression of a dismissive smile he could manage, though it fell away quickly enough as Reid took a step back, eyes nervously flickering away from Sebastian.
That was it then. Sebastian was in the clear. Reid had essentially backed down and all that was left was to grab his things and walk away. It should have been so easy to leave the house vacant - again- and disapparate. Disappear.
Except Reid walking away was doing weird things to Sebastian. Somehow, he'd become this link - the linchpin - between Sebastian and ... whatever his life had been since returning.
"Hold on, wait," Sebastian crossed the room - the distance he'd just created - to grab Reid's arm. "I kind of made it your business, didn't I?" Maybe they weren't anything to each other, but when Sebastian kept tracking him down, maybe he'd started making them something out of sheer fascination.
He shouldn't ask, it was probably going too far, but. "Do you want me to stay?"
It was a simple yes or no question, requiring nothing more than a yes or no answer. But Reid still found himself fumbling for an answer, his mind spinning with all sorts of thoughts and feelings he completely unused to dealing with.
He wanted him to stay. Of course he wanted him to stay. It genuinely terrified him how badly he wanted him to stay. Whatever this thing was, it had been taking him for a hell of a spin, and as dizzying as it was, he hadn't been looking to get off of it anytime soon.
Then again, this was an easy out. No chance to screw things up, no awkward run-ins, no mess or fuss- oh, who was he kidding.
"I- don't want you not to stay?" Way to work the double negatives...
"Shouldn't Ravenclaws have a better grasp of grammar?" Sebastian said before he could help it. For all his grumpy, disaffected and/or annoyed expressions, Reid made Sebastian feel more like his old self. The guy that had essentially been killed when his family died and he'd caught the worst disease he'd ever thought of had gone from serious but also carefree and snarky.
That Sebastian was long gone, but in that moment Sebastian felt more like that version of himself and that version wasn't one that ran off because things were hard or might be awkward.
"I could stay, I think, maybe. It's only been a month. Which is... short term even for me."
"Oh, great. So now you think you're funny, too," he teased despite himself, the weight that had been pushing against his chest lifting slightly as the bit of humor cracked through Sebastian's usual shell - though, he'd found that he'd been able to peak under that shell more in the past few weeks than most people would apparently hope to in a lifetime. Whatever that meant, he wasn't about to complain, same as every other opinion or observation he had had about the man since been launched at him back at that damned party. No complaints. None.
The small smile that crept across his face was less forced this time, more amused than anything. "You think? Maybe? What, do you need convincing?"
He hadn't intended it to be meant as a dare or an invitation, but, well...
"I am funny, when I feel like it," Sebastian shrugged. That, though, was mostly for show. Funny wasn't something Sebastian could remember having ever been called. When Reid said it, though, Sebastian kind of wanted it to be true.
What even. How was Reid able to pull something like that off? Sebastian was really going to have to actually think this through. Later, though, because right now, there was a question to answer.
Trying not to smirk, Sebastian shrugged. "You got something convincing to offer?" This conversation had turned around quickly, and they hadn't even left the doorway.
Reply
For a moment, he thought he was going to get off the hook, that Reid would back-peddle himself right back home. Ignoring the part of himself that was starting to hate watching Reid go.
The fierce, narrowed look Reid was sending him was new but not terribly shocking from what Sebastian had heard and put together about him. But it was damn sure going to make this a hell of a lot harder.
"Um." He stumbled over the words briefly, dropping his bags and glancing down at where they landed by his feet. "I was planning on it? I was always planning on it."
Reply
But he also couldn't deny the weird tug at the pit of his stomach he'd gotten to feeling whenever Sebastian's name was mentioned or when he walked into the room. And it had been a rough few days, and he was exhausted and still mildly freaked out and a whole mess of other feelings, and all of them were presently backing up that surge of disbelieving annoyance at the sight of those bags.
He followed Sebastian's gaze down to the luggage as it fell to the floor, then sharply looked back up to him.
"Right. Of course. Great. So you're just- booking it?" He had retreated behind his usual sarcasm, though his tone still rang very much accusatorially.
( ... )
Reply
Except for the first time in a long time, he was starting to think he wanted to and getting on his own nerves with the amount of times he swore - with less and less conviction - that this was only a temporary stop.
"You had to figure out why I was here. Or Jemma told you." Though, Sebastian was almost certain it was all Reid. He was to astute for Seastian's peace of mind. "Now ... that's over. So."
( ... )
Reply
"So. That's it. You were just- leaving." Whether it came across as more of a statement or a question or a dare, Reid wasn't sure.
Still, he made no move to step away from the guarding stance he had set himself into just a few feet from Sebastian's door step. Arms crossed protectively against his chest, eyes narrowed still, doing his best to ignore the part of him that was crumbling at the idea of this stupid hunk of a man just disappearing from his life.
( ... )
Reply
One hand motioned vaguely toward some nondistinct point behind Reid, the other coming up to palm the back of his own neck. This shouldn't be so difficult. He shouldn't be wanting to turn around and change him mind. Reid shouldn't have been able to do that to him.
"What do you want me to say here?" Sebastian shrugged his shoulders high and looked down. Seeing Reid was too hard. He was fierce and guarded - something Sebastian usually pushed against until it broke. With Reid, though, it made him want to back up and rethink a few things.
"I never stay long. I haven't been back here for a reason."
( ... )
Reply
This was none of his business. He had no right to ask anything of Sebastian, and he knew it, but somehow he still couldn't bring himself to let it go, because the idea of not having him around anymore set something off in his chest that was anything but comfortable.
He shrugged slightly, eyes uncomfortably darting away then back to Sebastian, the facade of annoyance slipping away despite his best attempts to keep it up. But he was too tired for it, and he couldn't deny the hurt feeling tugging at his gut, as pathetic and miserable as it made him feel.
"You weren't even gonna say anything?"
( ... )
Reply
"I didn't know what to say. I don't... normally there's no one I have anything to say to. I'm there, I do what I'm paid for then I leave. It's easy."
Digging his nails into his neck - and pretending that didn't remind him of Reid in some twisted, Pavlovian kind of way - Sebastian turned to pace back several steps. He didn't bother trying to shut the door or tell Reid to go, even when he turned back around and didn't try to push the point.
"But I came back and ... Jemma turns up to hire me or adopt me or whatever. Which was bad enough. Then you happened."
( ... )
Reply
Then you happened-
He didn't owe him anything. This was just a silly fling they'd been thrown into. Nothing more. Physical attraction, nothing else. That's all it was-
Try as he might to convince himself, Reid still couldn't help the crushing weight pushing against his chest.
"So why- why can't you just stay, then? Just because it's what you've been doing- I mean, no one's running you out of town- Jems'll be torn up, hell, so will Mr. Dorny-" He wasn't sure whether or not he wanted the 'so will I' he was feeling to be as implied as he felt it was, what with how his voice managed to waver just that slightest tell tale amount-
( ... )
Reply
Biting his lip, Sebastian shook his head a few too many times - a poor, failing attempt to make a million thoughts swirling through his head stop.
"I don't... I never came back for a reason, even if you think it's bullshit." He didn't mean to sound snappy, but that tended to be his default setting. Wincing, he reined it in. It didn't help that he was starting to think Reid was right. "I... being here is too much. Even if... Leaving is never this hard. It's not supposed to be. It's what I'm good at. But I'd almost suffer through it just to..." He didn't know how to finish that. To see Reid again? To actually get to know him? To hang onto Jemma and her father?
( ... )
Reply
"You know what, nevermind. Forget it. I shouldn't even be here. Do what you want. It's totally not my business-" He forced the best impression of a dismissive smile he could manage, though it fell away quickly enough as Reid took a step back, eyes nervously flickering away from Sebastian.
( ... )
Reply
Except Reid walking away was doing weird things to Sebastian. Somehow, he'd become this link - the linchpin - between Sebastian and ... whatever his life had been since returning.
"Hold on, wait," Sebastian crossed the room - the distance he'd just created - to grab Reid's arm. "I kind of made it your business, didn't I?" Maybe they weren't anything to each other, but when Sebastian kept tracking him down, maybe he'd started making them something out of sheer fascination.
He shouldn't ask, it was probably going too far, but. "Do you want me to stay?"
( ... )
Reply
He wanted him to stay. Of course he wanted him to stay. It genuinely terrified him how badly he wanted him to stay. Whatever this thing was, it had been taking him for a hell of a spin, and as dizzying as it was, he hadn't been looking to get off of it anytime soon.
Then again, this was an easy out. No chance to screw things up, no awkward run-ins, no mess or fuss- oh, who was he kidding.
"I- don't want you not to stay?" Way to work the double negatives...
( ... )
Reply
That Sebastian was long gone, but in that moment Sebastian felt more like that version of himself and that version wasn't one that ran off because things were hard or might be awkward.
"I could stay, I think, maybe. It's only been a month. Which is... short term even for me."
( ... )
Reply
The small smile that crept across his face was less forced this time, more amused than anything. "You think? Maybe? What, do you need convincing?"
He hadn't intended it to be meant as a dare or an invitation, but, well...
( ... )
Reply
What even. How was Reid able to pull something like that off? Sebastian was really going to have to actually think this through. Later, though, because right now, there was a question to answer.
Trying not to smirk, Sebastian shrugged. "You got something convincing to offer?" This conversation had turned around quickly, and they hadn't even left the doorway.
( ... )
Reply
Leave a comment