Dark Days
Title : Dark Days
Author : dalehead
Pairing : Viggo/Orlando
Rating : N-17
WARNING: This is a death fic; it deals with dementia so please take into consideration before reading.
Summary: Viggo and Orlando were happy.
A/N: This is a fiction and bears no relation to real life. Thanks to MSilverstar for her encouragement.
A/N 2: This really isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
Tired. Beyond tired. Exhausted. Drained. Every last bit of energy sucked out of him. Sad. Unutterably sad. A shell. Nothing left. Just emptiness. The shadow of a life lived. No more tears. All shed, all gone. A tiny spark of life deeply buried. Beyond the reach of the naked eye.
”I love you.”
Viggo was laughing up at him; Orlando was halfway up the bloody tree, rescuing the bloody cat.
“If I fall...”
“Orli, baby, the cat can get down on her own. She’s a cat. You don’t have to risk life and limb to rescue her.”
“That’s easy for you to say, look at her? She’s terrified, aren’t you little Pippin?”
Of course the cat miaowed; then she jumped down to the branch below Orlando and a few moments later, she was walking away,.tail in the air.
Orlando looked a bit foolish. “Don’t you bloody well say a word.”
“But Orli? I love you.”
“Well I love you too but that doesn’t mean you get to laugh at me. Leastways, not right now when I feel such a twat.”
“Here, climb down then jump. I’ll catch you.”
“Yeah right.”
“Orlando Bloom, I will always catch you.”
Of course he would. He did; he would spend the rest of his life, at least a part of the rest of that life doing just that. Catching him. He fell often.
”Viggo?” Orlando came through to the deck where Viggo was watching the stars. “I’ve fucked up.”
“How so?”
“I thought I had a whole month off and I don’t. I have a week then I’m back on set. New project...”
“Oh...”
“Vig?” Orlando sounded anxious.
“Then I better come with you.”
“But you hate coming on set when you aren’t working.”
“True, but I love you. I want to be with you. That means when you fuck up, we put it right together.”
“Vig?”
“Yes, Orlando?”
“I love you.”
Bit by bit, hour by hour, minute by minute he was slipping away. Watching him, seeing him struggle, losing him like this, it hurt like nothing else could . Causing the most unendurable pain. Pain that went deep, deep then deeper.
Orlando....” Viggo came into the room, that smile that was gentle, yet so sexual, dancing on his lips.
“Yeah...” Barely looking up from the script.
“Orlando?” More insistently this time.
“Yeah...”
“Marry me, Orlando?”
“Yeah …” There was a pause. “Eh? What did you just say?”
“Orlando Bloom, I am going to kneel down here by your side, so I can ask you to please marry me and be my true love.”
“Viggo Mortensen...” Orlando put his script down then almost threw himself into his lover’s arms, no his boyfriend, no his fiance’s arms. “Yes, I will marry you, I love you and I want to be your, no I am your true love.
It should have been happy ever after. It should have been. It very nearly was, until Viggo’s memory started playing odd tricks on him. He put the car keys in the freezer, dressed in his warmest winter woollies on a hot summer’s day. He forgot whole conversations they’d had earlier in the day...
Orli?” Viggo drew Orlando closer, kissed him. “I want us to get married at home, in our garden. I want Ian and Sean to do a reading. I want Billy to sing, I want all our friends …” He stopped.
“Vig?” Orlando whispered. “Baby? We did do that, all of that, we were married five years ago...” The terror he felt wasn’t visible on his face, only if you knew him very well, really, really well, you might have seen terror lurking in those dark eyes.
Viggo laughed. “Of course we did, I knew that, I really did.” His mouth laughed but his eyes were full of unshed tears. The important thing was to keep the facade in place. Never let it go, if it crumbled then all that was left was the terrible, terrible truth. They had said this was how it would happen, how it would begin. They had both been expecting it but neither had even begun to accept it.
Viggo wasn’t going to get any better.
First of all, they had the diagnosis. Then to decide whether to tell their friends, families, their employers.
”We’ll tell people on a need to know, Viggo. That’s what we’ll do.”
Overnight Orlando grew up. Of all the sadness he had to bear, for Viggo that was one of the heaviest. The moment the diagnosis came, the boy was replaced by the man.
I’m scared Orlando. Orli, I’m so scared that I’ll know, that on some level I’ll understand what’s happening. I’m so frightened.”
Orlando was too but he hid it. No one knew how much he was suffering. Everyone thought he was coping brilliantly. When the news reached the public at large, he threw himself into fundraising, helping to swell the coffers of the charity he chose to endow. He spoke passionately on the subject whenever he got the chance, became an ambassador for the cause.
Their friends rallied round, Viggo was loved by so many. But they spent as much time as possible talking. They had to get the rest of their lives into such a short space of time. The window might close any moment.
When it’s time Orli, and you’ll know when it’s time, you have to let me go. You can’t try and keep me here. Please baby, I want you to mourn me but then I want you to live out the rest of your days with someone ... If you don’t, it’ll be such a waste of love.”
“Please Vig, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But I do, now while I can. I want to plan my funeral, I want to put my house in order.”
Together they wrote everything down. They wrote down the story of their life together so Viggo could read it even after his memories faded.
”I always love you...” They were sitting together, Orlando holding Viggo in his arms. “Whatever I remember or don’t, I know I love you, that you love me”
It comforted Orlando on those days when he needed the comfort so badly.
Viggo got sick. Pneumonia. His breathing was laboured and he begun to retreat from the world. Orlando fancied he could see the light that shone so brightly in his husband begin to fade as Viggo got weaker. It might have been his imagination but it helped him to come to terms with the inevitable.
Orlando has risen to to the challenge magnificently. He did everything he could for Viggo but couldn’t hold back the ravages of that terrible disease. And then when the time came, when it was obvious that the soul of his husband had gone, that all that was left was the shell, the husk of his beloved Viggo, when the time came, Orlando let him go.
Fin
Author : dalehead
Pairing : Viggo/Orlando
Rating : N-17
WARNING: This is a death fic; it deals with dementia so please take into consideration before reading.
Summary: Viggo and Orlando were happy.
A/N: This is a fiction and bears no relation to real life. Thanks to MSilverstar for her encouragement.
A/N 2: This really isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
Tired. Beyond tired. Exhausted. Drained. Every last bit of energy sucked out of him. Sad. Unutterably sad. A shell. Nothing left. Just emptiness. The shadow of a life lived. No more tears. All shed, all gone. A tiny spark of life deeply buried. Beyond the reach of the naked eye.
”I love you.”
Viggo was laughing up at him; Orlando was halfway up the bloody tree, rescuing the bloody cat.
“If I fall...”
“Orli, baby, the cat can get down on her own. She’s a cat. You don’t have to risk life and limb to rescue her.”
“That’s easy for you to say, look at her? She’s terrified, aren’t you little Pippin?”
Of course the cat miaowed; then she jumped down to the branch below Orlando and a few moments later, she was walking away,.tail in the air.
Orlando looked a bit foolish. “Don’t you bloody well say a word.”
“But Orli? I love you.”
“Well I love you too but that doesn’t mean you get to laugh at me. Leastways, not right now when I feel such a twat.”
“Here, climb down then jump. I’ll catch you.”
“Yeah right.”
“Orlando Bloom, I will always catch you.”
Of course he would. He did; he would spend the rest of his life, at least a part of the rest of that life doing just that. Catching him. He fell often.
”Viggo?” Orlando came through to the deck where Viggo was watching the stars. “I’ve fucked up.”
“How so?”
“I thought I had a whole month off and I don’t. I have a week then I’m back on set. New project...”
“Oh...”
“Vig?” Orlando sounded anxious.
“Then I better come with you.”
“But you hate coming on set when you aren’t working.”
“True, but I love you. I want to be with you. That means when you fuck up, we put it right together.”
“Vig?”
“Yes, Orlando?”
“I love you.”
Bit by bit, hour by hour, minute by minute he was slipping away. Watching him, seeing him struggle, losing him like this, it hurt like nothing else could . Causing the most unendurable pain. Pain that went deep, deep then deeper.
Orlando....” Viggo came into the room, that smile that was gentle, yet so sexual, dancing on his lips.
“Yeah...” Barely looking up from the script.
“Orlando?” More insistently this time.
“Yeah...”
“Marry me, Orlando?”
“Yeah …” There was a pause. “Eh? What did you just say?”
“Orlando Bloom, I am going to kneel down here by your side, so I can ask you to please marry me and be my true love.”
“Viggo Mortensen...” Orlando put his script down then almost threw himself into his lover’s arms, no his boyfriend, no his fiance’s arms. “Yes, I will marry you, I love you and I want to be your, no I am your true love.
It should have been happy ever after. It should have been. It very nearly was, until Viggo’s memory started playing odd tricks on him. He put the car keys in the freezer, dressed in his warmest winter woollies on a hot summer’s day. He forgot whole conversations they’d had earlier in the day...
Orli?” Viggo drew Orlando closer, kissed him. “I want us to get married at home, in our garden. I want Ian and Sean to do a reading. I want Billy to sing, I want all our friends …” He stopped.
“Vig?” Orlando whispered. “Baby? We did do that, all of that, we were married five years ago...” The terror he felt wasn’t visible on his face, only if you knew him very well, really, really well, you might have seen terror lurking in those dark eyes.
Viggo laughed. “Of course we did, I knew that, I really did.” His mouth laughed but his eyes were full of unshed tears. The important thing was to keep the facade in place. Never let it go, if it crumbled then all that was left was the terrible, terrible truth. They had said this was how it would happen, how it would begin. They had both been expecting it but neither had even begun to accept it.
Viggo wasn’t going to get any better.
First of all, they had the diagnosis. Then to decide whether to tell their friends, families, their employers.
”We’ll tell people on a need to know, Viggo. That’s what we’ll do.”
Overnight Orlando grew up. Of all the sadness he had to bear, for Viggo that was one of the heaviest. The moment the diagnosis came, the boy was replaced by the man.
I’m scared Orlando. Orli, I’m so scared that I’ll know, that on some level I’ll understand what’s happening. I’m so frightened.”
Orlando was too but he hid it. No one knew how much he was suffering. Everyone thought he was coping brilliantly. When the news reached the public at large, he threw himself into fundraising, helping to swell the coffers of the charity he chose to endow. He spoke passionately on the subject whenever he got the chance, became an ambassador for the cause.
Their friends rallied round, Viggo was loved by so many. But they spent as much time as possible talking. They had to get the rest of their lives into such a short space of time. The window might close any moment.
When it’s time Orli, and you’ll know when it’s time, you have to let me go. You can’t try and keep me here. Please baby, I want you to mourn me but then I want you to live out the rest of your days with someone ... If you don’t, it’ll be such a waste of love.”
“Please Vig, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But I do, now while I can. I want to plan my funeral, I want to put my house in order.”
Together they wrote everything down. They wrote down the story of their life together so Viggo could read it even after his memories faded.
”I always love you...” They were sitting together, Orlando holding Viggo in his arms. “Whatever I remember or don’t, I know I love you, that you love me”
It comforted Orlando on those days when he needed the comfort so badly.
Viggo got sick. Pneumonia. His breathing was laboured and he begun to retreat from the world. Orlando fancied he could see the light that shone so brightly in his husband begin to fade as Viggo got weaker. It might have been his imagination but it helped him to come to terms with the inevitable.
Orlando has risen to to the challenge magnificently. He did everything he could for Viggo but couldn’t hold back the ravages of that terrible disease. And then when the time came, when it was obvious that the soul of his husband had gone, that all that was left was the shell, the husk of his beloved Viggo, when the time came, Orlando let him go.
Fin