99.011 - PTSD, Codependency, and Narcissism
Ramble time!
So, currently while my main PTSD trials come from a Codependency (Stockholm Syndrome, possible HFA/Asperger's) attached to = Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD), my previous PTSD came from a Codependency attached Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) attached to what appears to be Narcissism attached to Behavioral Addiction, Paranoid, or another Borderline Personality Disorder. The control issues are what are at stake, so the comparison is still relevant.
I am not a professional, and I make no claim as such. The only thing I really have confirmed professionally is the BpD of my previous abuse, but the NPD and Stockholm Syndrome are nearly certain based on witness and ample evidence.
I clearly used to have a codependent personality, and there are probably still scraps of codependency all over my personality as I recover from the abuses of Categories 4-7. It was pretty clear that what got me out of the abuse from the BPD is a move towards self-reliance, which got extremely severe once I had come out and had to face a Codependency (Dependency Personality Disorder (DPD)) attached to Narcissism with Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD).
Wow, the Codependency-Narcissism paradigm is what I really need to attack, not the abuse paradigm, oppression paradigm, or other paradigms.
After a bit of digging, I have found that seven influential codependent-narcissist/oppressor relationships have shaped my life. However, it's not narcissism that has ruined me, or I'd be wording this differently. It's being forced into schematics where I am seen as a threat, and narcissism is one of them, but so are:
I formerly was one of the codependent ones, but now I find that I am no longer the codependent one, and I haven't been for six years, no matter how much other people try to peg me there. (Once again, vestiges.) It's about breaking out of the mold, and being accepted solely as an individual but yet still welcomed in a larger community unit.
I need to find people who accept me as Taryn and not as a component of something else. Fortunately, I have already found a good number of those people.
Thus, instead of the vague Category 10 "Grudges," I am now changing that to Codependency-Narcissism and Moral Superiority; Bullying. In essence, that's what we're talking about.
Cool? Cool. I know this was rambly, but this was pretty critical. I deserve to be an individual wonderful in her own right, not someone that makes you feel better because you're not her. Jerks.
So, currently while my main PTSD trials come from a Codependency (Stockholm Syndrome, possible HFA/Asperger's) attached to = Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD), my previous PTSD came from a Codependency attached Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) attached to what appears to be Narcissism attached to Behavioral Addiction, Paranoid, or another Borderline Personality Disorder. The control issues are what are at stake, so the comparison is still relevant.
I am not a professional, and I make no claim as such. The only thing I really have confirmed professionally is the BpD of my previous abuse, but the NPD and Stockholm Syndrome are nearly certain based on witness and ample evidence.
I clearly used to have a codependent personality, and there are probably still scraps of codependency all over my personality as I recover from the abuses of Categories 4-7. It was pretty clear that what got me out of the abuse from the BPD is a move towards self-reliance, which got extremely severe once I had come out and had to face a Codependency (Dependency Personality Disorder (DPD)) attached to Narcissism with Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD).
Wow, the Codependency-Narcissism paradigm is what I really need to attack, not the abuse paradigm, oppression paradigm, or other paradigms.
After a bit of digging, I have found that seven influential codependent-narcissist/oppressor relationships have shaped my life. However, it's not narcissism that has ruined me, or I'd be wording this differently. It's being forced into schematics where I am seen as a threat, and narcissism is one of them, but so are:
- Confucianism
- Rich white Christianity
- Nerd society
- Grad school life
- Marriage privilege
- Regional privilege
- Radqueer and radfem and activism frameworks
I formerly was one of the codependent ones, but now I find that I am no longer the codependent one, and I haven't been for six years, no matter how much other people try to peg me there. (Once again, vestiges.) It's about breaking out of the mold, and being accepted solely as an individual but yet still welcomed in a larger community unit.
I need to find people who accept me as Taryn and not as a component of something else. Fortunately, I have already found a good number of those people.
Thus, instead of the vague Category 10 "Grudges," I am now changing that to Codependency-Narcissism and Moral Superiority; Bullying. In essence, that's what we're talking about.
Cool? Cool. I know this was rambly, but this was pretty critical. I deserve to be an individual wonderful in her own right, not someone that makes you feel better because you're not her. Jerks.