My God am I depressing.
Looking through all these old LJ posts, I sure am one messed up kid o_o; *shrugs* Hey, it's how I am, and it's how I'll probably always be. I'm pathetic, for the most part. Whenever I get hurt, I turn it into anger and lash out at anyone nearby, including my love. I don't mean to do it, it's just a defense mechanism. Well, enough about my little problem.
Preston royally pissed me off by three-waying with Taia and calling me. He starts talking, and talking, and talking. For the most part I don't even listen to him. I generally just sit there silently while he blathers on about me being a horrible boyfriend and whatnot. I really don't care what he has to say, nor anyone else for that matter. I am who I am. Don't like me? Too bad. Go find another person who will bend over and kiss your ass enough to be your friend. I'm an asshole. I'm a reject. I'm a loser and all of the above. Plain and simple: "I don't discriminate, I hate everybody." So, so true. Only a select few are on my good side at the moment. Good side? How about the side that doesn't just come out and say "FUCK YOU!". Yeah, I'm not too happy these days.
Taia said she was going to try and come this last weekend. Did she? Hell no. I knew she wouldn't, too. She never does. Everytime she tells me she's going to do something, it falls through. At least it feels that way since it's happened so much. Le sigh. I still can't forget how I had A WEEK OFF and she went home halfway in between just so she could go to a guinea pig show. Yeah. She'd rather go to a guinea pig show than be with me? Thanks so much. And now she didn't come because she claimed to be sick, plus her jet ski needed her attention more than me. I believe she was sick, so I don't hold that against her. I also believe that she had the chance to come and didn't. Now the next time I see her will be sometime during the summer at an unknown date because we're both going to be working. Great. Guess that rules out any more four day weekends, eh?
If that isn't enough griping...
Then I dunno what is. I'll drop it. I'm done. I'm just getting myself more and more upset as I think of it, and how she constantly claims it's a one sided relationship. It's not. I sacrificed graduating this year for her. I sacrificed my health for her. I sacrificed my parents for her. Just because I don't HAVE any money to sacrifice on her doesn't mean I don't do anything. Just because I don't go see her in her own town doesn't mean I don't do anything. I do. I do a lot more than most people know or would care to. Preston wants to chew me out? Fuck you, Preston. Anyone else want to try to talk to me about my problems? I dare you to. I dare you. My problems are mine alone, and no one out there is going to tell me what to do, no matter who you are.
Heh, what a lovely post. Well, I'm an upset, disturbed little human being. Have a nice day.
~Brandon
Preston royally pissed me off by three-waying with Taia and calling me. He starts talking, and talking, and talking. For the most part I don't even listen to him. I generally just sit there silently while he blathers on about me being a horrible boyfriend and whatnot. I really don't care what he has to say, nor anyone else for that matter. I am who I am. Don't like me? Too bad. Go find another person who will bend over and kiss your ass enough to be your friend. I'm an asshole. I'm a reject. I'm a loser and all of the above. Plain and simple: "I don't discriminate, I hate everybody." So, so true. Only a select few are on my good side at the moment. Good side? How about the side that doesn't just come out and say "FUCK YOU!". Yeah, I'm not too happy these days.
Taia said she was going to try and come this last weekend. Did she? Hell no. I knew she wouldn't, too. She never does. Everytime she tells me she's going to do something, it falls through. At least it feels that way since it's happened so much. Le sigh. I still can't forget how I had A WEEK OFF and she went home halfway in between just so she could go to a guinea pig show. Yeah. She'd rather go to a guinea pig show than be with me? Thanks so much. And now she didn't come because she claimed to be sick, plus her jet ski needed her attention more than me. I believe she was sick, so I don't hold that against her. I also believe that she had the chance to come and didn't. Now the next time I see her will be sometime during the summer at an unknown date because we're both going to be working. Great. Guess that rules out any more four day weekends, eh?
If that isn't enough griping...
Then I dunno what is. I'll drop it. I'm done. I'm just getting myself more and more upset as I think of it, and how she constantly claims it's a one sided relationship. It's not. I sacrificed graduating this year for her. I sacrificed my health for her. I sacrificed my parents for her. Just because I don't HAVE any money to sacrifice on her doesn't mean I don't do anything. Just because I don't go see her in her own town doesn't mean I don't do anything. I do. I do a lot more than most people know or would care to. Preston wants to chew me out? Fuck you, Preston. Anyone else want to try to talk to me about my problems? I dare you to. I dare you. My problems are mine alone, and no one out there is going to tell me what to do, no matter who you are.
Heh, what a lovely post. Well, I'm an upset, disturbed little human being. Have a nice day.
~Brandon