turning me black and blue [active/closed]
Characters: Tara Markov (Terra), Beast Boy
Content: The only person Terra feels comfortable meeting in person is coming to make sure she's okay.
Location: The Strand 2.0
Time of Day: After this thread.
Warnings: So the drama.
( i take it back, take it back! )
Content: The only person Terra feels comfortable meeting in person is coming to make sure she's okay.
Location: The Strand 2.0
Time of Day: After this thread.
Warnings: So the drama.
( i take it back, take it back! )
If he wanted to draw her into a hug, she'd probably break down.
She didn't shy away at his touch, though every part of her was screaming at her to run. The same thing that always happened. But she needed to be strong for him. And for herself. Mostly for him. She had to keep it together long enough to come clean. He deserved to know it.
"You know about my powers."
That was a start. That much, she knew he already knew. Whatever was going on with the timelines or... whatever, that much was clear. And she didn't have to spend time explaining it. She did need to take the time to gather her thoughts again, and this time (since she couldn't very well pace), she spent her time looking down, around, anywhere but Beast Boy's face. Her hair fell down again.
"You saw the people on the network. Talking about outsiders." She really hoped he could have figured it out from there, if only because she didn't trust herself to get through the rest. ...But this time, she had to say it for herself. She had to.
"One of them found me." She swallowed hard, forcing back more tears before looking at Beast Boy directly. "It wasn't a microphone they threw down the stairs."
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When she started to speak again, his grip on her arms tightened a little, and he nodded. If this was to do with her powers -- had she lost control again? Oh, but Starfire had said something about Terra not having her powers at all. So it couldn't be that.. so why would anyone...
Beast Boy's expression widened when she finished. For a second, his brain refused to process anything other than 'Oh my god Terra was thrown down some stairs. Oh my god.' but he managed to compose himself, at least a little. "They wha-.. are you oka-.. oh my god, Terra," he stuttered, before pulling her into a careful hug, his brain now moved onto a fresh set of emotions and ideas.
"Who did this to you? Do you remember what they look like?" he growled, scowling into her shoulder and holding her a little tighter, his anger bubbling over into his voice.
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Just as well. There wasn't anything else she needed to say. One word answered all his questions. Without that to worry about, she practically collapsed on top of him, letting his body stop her fall. Her arms reached out for him, wrapped around, brought herself close to the only person who could understand her. The only person who even stood a chance, and the only person she could come close to trusting. The only person who could defend her. If and when it happened again. The same thing that always happened.
Those hard-fought tears finally showed up.
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When she collapsed against him, Beat Boy bit his bottom lip before wrapping his arms around her. "If I ever find out who did this to you..." he started, scowling at the opposite wall, before looking down at her and squeezing her a little. "I'm gonna make them pay, Terra. Nobody should get away with something like this."
He was silent after that, nuzzling into her shoulder a little, and letting her cry as much as she wanted. Sometimes, letting it all out was the best medicine for these kinds of things -- or so he'd heard. He knew this probably wouldn't just up and go away, but at least she didn't have to bottle it up anymore. He was always here for her.
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Her words should have been obvious. If they did something like this to her and she looked normal, what would they do to Beast Boy? She wouldn't let herself be a burden to him. She already couldn't live with herself like this. If she were responsible for even more people getting hurt just because she couldn't keep her mouth shut, or because she couldn't be trusted to stay out of trouble, then...
"Don't!" she finally spat out, almost yelling into his shoulder. Clinging even more tightly, shrinking smaller and pressing against him with what strength she had left. Don't go, don't fight. Don't leave. Don't do what everyone always did.
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“But…” he started, frowning down at her, but finding it hard to argue with her state right now. So he said nothing for the time being, and just held her as he thought. Now that he did think about it, if he went out to find these people - that was even assuming that he could - there’d be no jail to throw them in here, there was no… Justice, Robin would call it. If Beast Boy went out and tracked someone down and hurt them for hurting someone that meant the world to him, didn’t that just make him as low as them? …Still, he really wanted to. Terra had gone through so much already, at least the one he’d known. She really didn’t deserve all this too.
“…Okay. I won’t,” he manages, finally, hugging her a little tighter, and thinking a little more. “But they really should pay y’know… I mean, what if it happens again? I can’t… I can’t protect you all the time,” he said, almost as if this had come as a realization to himself. “And I totally want too! It’s just really hard when like, you’re all the way over here, and I’m all the way over where I live, and…” There was a pause, his brain suddenly suggesting something that he should’ve thought of months ago.
Pushing away from her a little, so he could see her at least a little bit, he gave her a crooked smile that was mixed with worry, and then asked, “Why don’t you move in with me and Starfire? I mean, that way something like this… well, it won’t happen again, I’ll make sure,” There was another short pause, before his voice got a little sheepish. “And plus, you’ll be able to beat me at video games whenever you want, and I could make you tofu waffles, and…” Okay Beast Boy, this was not a good time for you to be fantasizing about your boyfriend status, at all. Even if the images he was projecting were kind of cute. Focus on the task at hand, idiot.
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"Thank you," she whispered against him, but remained quiet after that, hearing his words, his decisions, his fantasies. And a part of her liked it. A part of her that had been doing so well. That had nearly gotten all the way to the top landing before being pushed back down. Fate had a funny sense of humor, didn't it. Because now that part was still battered and bruised at the bottom of the stairs, and everything else was stomping all over it in a frantic rush to come back to the surface.
She'd called Beast Boy over because she knew that he understood her. He knew the most about her out of anyone in the city... didn't he? He knew things that hadn't even happened to her yet, so he had to know. Had to know who she was, what parts of her she'd kept hidden and why. And she was okay with that. She wanted him to know. She trusted him. She didn't really have a choice, did she? If he knew all that. If he did. But he had to. But there was always that if. Never certain. Never bold enough to ask.
The point was that Starfire didn't know those things. Probably. And Terra had grown used to living alone. It was easier this way. A bigger risk, yeah, but when you didn't have to worry about what home you were leaving, it was easier to find a new one when everything inevitably hit the fan. Too much to worry about made things worse. Living with other people, always concerned if they were going to be attacked by crabs or have their building stomped on. Too much of a burden.
But then there was Beast Boy. The way he asked her. The way he wanted to take care of her, to treat her right (even if her mind wouldn't let her see that), to be a good person to her. She needed to be close to someone, and he was there. And he was offering a safe home. Where something like this would never happen again. Unless it did. Unless they got everybody. Unless Terra simply existing would put Beast Boy and Starfire in danger.
All the stress was probably imagined. Probably. Maybe not. There was never any certainty in her life. Being sure about things was a luxury that could only go to people who had their lives in order. So Beast Boy shouldn't have been surprised when Terra told him her standard answer after an eternity of quiet thinking and silent holding.
"I need to think about it."
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“But live in the knowledge that if you say no, I’m gonna have to use the face on you, and once that happens you’ll never be able to resist it,” he laughed weakly, trying to cheer the situation up a little, and probably failing abysmally.
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"I don't want to put you in danger," she finally confessed through red eyes and a strangled voice. That face of his; those adorable pointy ears that he always said chicks dug; his skin that she guessed he'd dealt with his fair share of abuse for (and maybe he was better at hiding it); his eyes that let her know all he wanted was the best for her. His eyes that told her he wanted to keep her safe.
Windows to the soul, she'd heard. The only part of you that couldn't lie. Whether that was true was up for debate, but what mattered was that she knew he wasn't going to betray her. There weren't many things she could trust so completely in this world. But that was one of them.
"I don't want anyone else to get hurt." She meant her friends, but the same thing extended to anyone else in the city. Including CARP. She probably deserved to be pushed down the stairs anyway. They weren't bad people. They were just treating her the way she should be treated.
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He gave her another reassuring smile, and a small squeeze around the waist, and hoped that she'd listen to him. Beast Boy was willing to protect Terra, but only if she let him. He would never let anything like this happen to her again if he could. Never.
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But if she kept second- and third-guessing herself, she wouldn't get anywhere in this whole thing. "Okay." And she would force herself to believe it. She would make herself believe every word Beast Boy was saying. But that would take less effort than she thought in the long run.
"Thank you, Beast Boy," she eked out, giving one last grateful look into his eyes before she shut her own and hugged him tighter than she ever had before.
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As she hugged him, he flushed slightly - or as much as he could with his green skin - and then hugged her back just as tightly. "Anytime, Terra," he said, smiling a little. "I mean, what're friends for, right?"
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She found herself speechless, but for once, she wasn't going to stumble for something else to say. They said the mark of true friends was being completely comfortable in total silence between each other. Tara was more than content to see how well that held up.
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