.00015-FanFic : Over the Grief
♥ Over the Grief- Chapter 2 ♥
Title: Over the Grief
Author: daisay
Rating: T
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay
Content Warning: Drama/Romance
Summary: Set in season 4 - Danny and Lindsay are trying to figure out their relationship. Can they get over the past hurt and move on?
A/N: Here is the second chapter for you. I hope you enjoy this.
And special thanks to stuffy34 for checking out this chapter before posting.
The day she confessed him that she had fallen in love with him was also the day she swore to herself she would figure out how to let that go.
She lost a tiny life conceived inside her on the very same day she confessed her love for him. A few days after that, Danny was thrust that fact by Flack. The reason Flack had known about her miscarriage was that it was him who was there when she lost her baby.
It was obvious to everyone that her face has been shining more brightly than before the trial in Montana. Flack knew it was Danny who had brought a shining smile back to her. The tension of nervousness between her and Danny had disappeared ever since they had returned to New York. Warm air always seemed to linger around the two. In the lab they smiled lovingly at each other, exchanging glances from time to time. Flack secretly couldn't help but smile at the sight. But soon after the boy living right down the hallway from Danny was murdered, Flack had sensed that something had happened between him and Lindsay. She seemed to continuously lose weight day after day, and it killed Flack.
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On the day she sensed Danny's betrayal her usually pale face registered sorrow. She was about to leave the lab when Flack managed to catch up with her. "Hey, Lindsay! You finished your shift?" He asked, panting from his brief run.
"Yeah...what's wrong, Don? You look out of breath. You all right?" she asked worriedly.
Flack tried to sound casually as best he could. "Yeah yeah, I'm completely fine. Do you have any plans after this?"
"No. I'm going home now. You?" She narrowed her pupils, not knowing why Flack would ask such a question.
"I'm done my shift too, so can I drive you home?"
She raised a cautious eyebrow, suddenly wondering why Flack was offering to give her a ride. "Why?"
"Lindsay...I'm worried sick about you. If there is anything I can do for you, tell me."
"Thank you, but I'm fine, " she reassured him, avoiding any possible eye contact.
"Lindsay, you need someone to talk to," he said gently, trying to soften her closed heart.
"Don, I really appreciate your offer and worrying about me, but I think I need to be alone right now."
Upon seeing her determined look, Flack realized he couldn't push her further and had no choice but to nod at her words. He released a deep breath that had suddenly welled up in his chest and said, "I got it. But just do me a favor, at least let me take you home."
He couldn't leave her alone, nor could he pretend not to see her so despondent any more. Ignoring her hesitance intentionally, Flack grabbed her hand to lead her to his car.
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They had barely entered her apartment when she felt a sharp twang in her stomach. As they made their way over to the living room it grew more intense, and her hands began to shake uncontrollably. It became more and more unbearable, and she moaned in pain as she turned around and tried to call Flack's name. The world around her began to shake. The corners of her vision turned black, the pain making it difficult for her to breathe, and her entire body writhed in agony.
"Do...n..." She fell to the floor, groaning and in tears, before she could reach out to Flack.
"Lindsay?" He looked in shock as she lay, face down. A considerable amount of crimson liquid was now seeping out from underneath her body. "Oh God."
The terrible sight - one minute she had been fine, the next sprawled out in her own blood - was enough to leave Flack speechless. For a moment he stood there as if totally paralyzed, not comprehending what his eyes had just witnessed. Within seconds reality hit him like a ton of bricks and he quickly knelt down beside her, turned her onto her back and holding her in his arms.
"Lindsay? Lindsay!" he cried out in sheer desperation.
The only thing that replied was silence.
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The ambulance arrived shortly after Flack called 911. She was rushed to the hospital, only to find that it was too late. Lindsay, who had regained consciousness in the hospital bed the next morning, was told by the doctor she had lost her unborn child due to great stress and shock. His words were like rubbing salt in her already bleeding wounds. But she didn't cry. Overwhelmed by too much grief to shed tears, she had difficulty in accepting her current situation.
It was the last straw when she realized this was not just a bad dream but a reality. She could no longer keep what she had in mind all to herself. After being released from the hospital, she relayed Flack everything what had happened between her and Danny.
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When she found out she was pregnant, she was at a loss whether to tell Danny about it. Danny, who blamed himself for letting the boy lose his life, couldn't accept that he was having his own child. This was probably the last thing he wanted right now. She was worried how he would react to the life-changing news.
"I can't be a father."
With those words, he might walk away from her, pushing her farther and farther away into what constantly felt like a dark oblivion. The mere thought of it terrified her. Yet, even if Danny wouldn't accept it willingly, he had the right to know the truth. After considering it for hours on end, she finally resolved herself firmly before heading for his apartment - hoping that he would at least listen to her.
The door opened a little from the inside and his face peeped out. The moment he realized who it was standing there, he seemed a little surprised and upset. Lindsay could feel her stomach churn as she watched him running his fingertips through his messy hair. Having no idea what to expect from him, she wanted to turn back and run away.
"Hi," she finally broke the silence, offering him a nervous smile.
"Hey," he said wearily.
"I...I know you don't want to talk right now, Danny, but I have something important to tell you."
"Lindsay...I...Look, I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone now, so..."
"I know. I know that, Danny, but..." her voice trailed off.
"Lindsay...please. Not now."
"Danny..."
"Well, you know, I have told you I don't wanna talk about anything right now, so just do me a favor, leave me alone. Please!" Trying to avoid her eyes, he shut the door coldly.
Despite being shocked at his dagger-like words and behavior, she didn't want him to witness her shedding tears. Pressing her lips together in a desperate attempt to hold back the sobs that were welling up from inside her throat, she did nothing but nod silently. Looking over her shoulder at the closed door once more, she left without saying a word.
After that day it was painful for her to have to see him at work, but nonetheless she didn't force him to talk to her. She didn't want to push too far; she just gave him his space as he had asked her to. She didn't have the slightest intention of blaming him for it, because she understood his feelings of guilt only too well. She could feel his sorrow as if they were like her own, and especially because she loved him from her heart. That was why she behaved normally and naturally at work as best she could so that she herself wouldn't be his burden.
But for all that, the more she forced herself to go about like nothing had happened the more loneliness assaulted her on entering her apartment after her shift. Her apartment. The place where she used to spend time with him but now there was no one but her. When she was alone, she couldn't hold back something welling up in her eyes any more. She sat on the couch they'd once cuddled on together for hours on end and sobbed. She sobbed her heart out, holding herself tightly with her arms for the first time in countless weeks.
Still, she didn't given up hope. She kept on believing the time would come when Danny would need her, share his pain with her. But he never needed her. She was not the person he wanted to be there for him. On the contrary, he turned to another woman for comfort, which caused her to miscarriage.
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As he listened to her story, Flack couldn't find any words to offer her the comfort and reassurance that she needed. Pulling her into a tight embrace and softly rubbing her trembling back with the side of his thumb, he swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat. Simply put, he was helpless and could do nothing more than comfort her.
Since the day she lost Danny and their baby at the same time, the sparkle in her eyes had vanished. The brilliant smile had disappeared from her face, and no matter how hard Flack tried he could not make them reappear. Day by day she lost weight and got thinner and thinner, and it cut Flack too deeply to bear to see. No wonder that his anger and indignation was directed at Danny.
To be continued...
P.S. Thank you so much for letting me use Danny/Lindsay mood theme and setting this for me, stuffy34. And thank you so much for fantastic Danny/Lindsay mood theme, bluelilyrose.