Perception vs. reality reflection
After a long talk with someone last night about content in my journal, I decided to go and read back, and see if I can recall what I was thinking and where I was in my life when I wrote the words. It was an eye opener, if I didn't know me and I read all the various entries, I'd have a picture in my head of a chronically depressed gamer with no ability to form long term relationships.
The problem with that picture is I tend to post when things are bothering me, or on my mind. I don't tend to post when I'm happy with things. We as a culture tend to reflect on our dramas. Our achievements aren't quite as fascinating. As a result, I think we have a perception of a culture that is rapidly going downhill, when it may not really be that bad. Perception becomes reality though - just as if people think I'm a depressive, they will treat me that way and if I get treated that way I will come to believe that is how I am. On a societal level, media perceptions reinforce themselves with news reports and movies and music. The perception of what our culture is becomes our culture.
Looking back, I see a picture of living through a really horrible relationship. I don't remember it being that bad until the end, but I have a different perspective now and I can see it's worse than I viewed it as being at the time. My entries paint a picture of someone who was crushed by the separation and divorce, but I know that's not the reality - I know that behind the depressed entries was a strong person whose life was turned upside down but was struggling to set it right. Behind the words is a person who could have wallowed in misery and addiction, but fought to make himself a better person.
You can have your perception of who I was. I'm working with my perception of who I want to be.
The problem with that picture is I tend to post when things are bothering me, or on my mind. I don't tend to post when I'm happy with things. We as a culture tend to reflect on our dramas. Our achievements aren't quite as fascinating. As a result, I think we have a perception of a culture that is rapidly going downhill, when it may not really be that bad. Perception becomes reality though - just as if people think I'm a depressive, they will treat me that way and if I get treated that way I will come to believe that is how I am. On a societal level, media perceptions reinforce themselves with news reports and movies and music. The perception of what our culture is becomes our culture.
Looking back, I see a picture of living through a really horrible relationship. I don't remember it being that bad until the end, but I have a different perspective now and I can see it's worse than I viewed it as being at the time. My entries paint a picture of someone who was crushed by the separation and divorce, but I know that's not the reality - I know that behind the depressed entries was a strong person whose life was turned upside down but was struggling to set it right. Behind the words is a person who could have wallowed in misery and addiction, but fought to make himself a better person.
You can have your perception of who I was. I'm working with my perception of who I want to be.