rp: melchioritz ii
Authors: Melchior - mrsdannyfenton
Moritz - nummy_cream_puf
Pairing: Melchioritz
Fandom: Spring Awakening
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Melchior chases after Moritz when he runs away after their night together. It starts to rain, so they hide in the hayloft and sexyiemz ensue. Worst summary ever, but hey. :|
Warnings: Lots of sex: Beej, rimming, lap sex. Aaaangst. Some fluff, too!
Word Count: 8,089
Notes: Follow-up to the first RP. It turned out a lot longer than I thought it would, but I am very proud of it and I know Sarah is too. :D I'm pretty sure this pairing is my OTP now. Like, srsly. We've been working on this for like a week and it has been OWNING MY LIFE. Read it and you will see why~ ♥♥
ETA: While reading this aloud to my friend, I realized that I left out a VERY PIVOTAL POST. D: You don't have to go back and read it, but. I left out a pretty big chunk. XD; I REALLY NEED TO NOT FAIL AT EDITING NEXT TIME.
Moritz had raced home, luckily finding his parents already gone. He couldn't take this anymore-- couldn't keep doing this. Little things going wrong had littered his life, but certainly, this was one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made. Moritz found it-- the gun he often stared at, sometimes even held, on the evenings after school when his parents were out to town. It was a bitterly cold piece of comfort that should things get too tough, there was already this way out...
He didn't sleep that night, milling over everything-- no, he didn't sleep for fear of those dreams. Moritz wanted it all to end with a somewhat clear subconscious. Instead, he replayed and replayed that evening's events, blushing fiercely every time he recalled what Melchior had done. He tried to ignore that part-- though that was the whole problem...
Once dawn came, Moritz left his room, pausing at the door to his parent's room. He could hear them sleeping within. He wouldn't disturb them- not now, not ever. No longer would they be burdened with him as their son.
Moritz spent most of the morning trudging through the forest. Where could he do this? He didn't think he wanted to be found- at least not at first... He crossed the bridge, staring down at the rapidly moving water. It had stormed the previous night and already Moritz could see another one on the horizon. He wondered if he killed himself before the rain, what all the water would do to the blood...
Then he heard the call of his name and Moritz nearly jumped out of his skin. Without turning around, he knew who it was and yet still, Moritz turned to look.
"Melchior..."
--
Melchior doubled over, clutching his chest as he tried to catch his breathing. He had run into the forest, knowing full well where Moritz would retreat.
"Moritz," he breathed, trying to walk closer to the other boy. "Please just talk to me. It doesn't have to be like this!" He looked up at the sky, searching for nothing in particular.
"Please, Moritz."
--
Moritz was too frightened at first to say anything, though he was worried about Melchior as he bent over to catch his breath briefly. He didn't dare move as Melchior moved forward, instead staying pressed against the railing of the bridge.
"...Be like what?" Moritz asked dumbly, playing stupid. There was no way-- no, certainly Melchior didn't know... his hand fell to his pocket, feeling the heavy object within, making sure Melchior couldn't see it.
He was dressed in his Sunday best- his shoes polished and his jacket ironed. His tie wasn't askew for once and Moritz had even managed to keep his socks pulled up all day.
--
"I..." he sighed, feeling it was best to keep his distance from Moritz; he stayed a good 100 feet away.
"I just... I know I crossed the line earlier and I shouldn't have done that. However, you didn't have to run away from me, Moritz. I'm your best friend! If you run away from me, who else can you go to?" Sick of the dead air between them, he walked toward the bridge and stood next to him. "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"
--
Moritz turned away from Melchior as he talked, staring once more at the rush of water beneath his feet.
So Melchior was talking about yesterday...
"I know Melchior but-- what happened... that isn't normal. Friends don't-- do that..." He mumbled weakly, only then realizing that Melchior had said he was Moritz's best friend-- he hadn't denied it? Or tried to sever all ties?
--
"Who's to say it isn't normal, Moritz? Are you trying to tell me that those feelings we feel aren't normal? I'm not going to lie and say I did the right thing but I’m also not going to deny ever doing it, either!"
He tried to step closer to Moritz, following his gaze to the calming water beneath them. "Moritz..." Melchior sighed, running a finger through his curly, disheveled hair. "I don't know what to do either, okay? But I’m not going to let you just run away from it as if it never happened.”
--
He should have expected this outburst from Melchior, but still he cringed slightly all the same from his friend's words. Moritz supposed he was right-- in fact, he knew he couldn't ignore it. But it was so much easier-- so less painful...he already had to deal with so much pain already.
Moritz looked up from the water, seeing the clouds getting darker, closer. The wind was picking up as the storm blew in. Damnit-- he would have to wait until after...
"Melchi, the storm..." Moritz said, not averting his eyes from the oncoming clouds.
--
Melchior looked at the clouds forming above him, holding out a hand to catch a rain droplet. "Well what do you know, it's raining." He wasn't fazed by the rain at all. Sure, it was going to get cold soon, but he was going to talk to Moritz - no matter what it took.
"Come on," Melchior said, leading Moritz away from the bridge. "We'll catch cold if we stay out here. We can stay in the hayloft until the storm passes."
--
Moritz supposed that he couldn't lose Melchior before the storm-- he would just have to get rid of him once it passed. Moritz didn't want an audience for this-- didn't even want Melchior to know until after he had gone through with it. He knew that Melchior would just get angry and try to talk him down from it.
"Alright..." Moritz said meekly, following Melchior off the bridge and through the small field to the abandoned barn on the edge near the woods. All the children loved to play here, even though their parents said it was unsafe. The hayloft though still had large amounts of hay left, that the children all loved to lay in or play and hide-and-go-seek in. Moritz supposed that as older kids they could use it simply as a place of refuge.
He wished they could once more be wistful children playing hide-and-go-seek...
Moritz was somewhat afraid of heights, but he clenched his eyes shut as he moved up the ladder into the hayloft, focusing on putting one foot above another until he finally scrambled onto the landing behind Melchior.
--
Melchior backed up against the wall of the hayloft, still keeping his distance from Moritz. He didn't want to, but he knew that's what Moritz wanted right now and he didn't want to make it any worse for him. He had already fucked up once.
"You don't have to stay in here. Just until the storm passes," Melchior said quietly, almost finding the sounds of rain to be comforting.
He pulled his knees to his chest, waiting for Moritz to speak. He looked around the hayloft, seeing all the pieces of hay in random places about the building. He smiled to himself, remembering all the times when he, Ilse, Wendla, and Moritz played hide-and-seek. Being a kid was so easy. You didn't have a care in the world, didn't have to worry about anything... But they were growing up now, and they needed to figure things out for themselves. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry," he said after a while, almost too quietly for Moritz to hear.
--
Moritz watched as Melchior moved. Did he not want to be near him? Something hard and heavy felt like it was pressing down on his chest and so Moritz simply sat in a small bit of hay a good amount away from Melchior. His legs folded in that childish manner in instinct, but then Moritz shifted, adjusting so that his legs ran straight out in front of him. He would sit like an adult. He needed to at some point in his life.
Just barely, he was able to hear Melchior's apology over the rain as it started to pick up, a clap of thunder sounding in the distance. Moritz would have counted the seconds between the bolt of lightning and the next sound of thunder, but his mind wasn't in the right place for such light-hearted antics.
"...Don't be. Please." Moritz pleaded softly, his eyes staring down at the hay, fingers picking absentmindedly at the itchy grain. "Just-- please know it’s not your fault."
Once he was gone, he didn't want Melchior blaming himself for this-- it was all Moritz. All things wrong with him.
--
"How can I not be?" Melchior questioned, crawling on his knees to sit in front of Moritz now. "I... I let my wants get the best of me. But can you blame me, Moritz?" Melchior had a habit of ranting and raving when he felt strongly, and this was one of those times. He wanted to tell Moritz the kind of things he dreamt about at night... whom he dreamt about, but it would only make things worse.
Melchior looked at the ground, picking up a piece of hay as he twisted it in his fingers. The sounds of thunder and lightning only seemed to get stronger, so he knew they were going to be in there for a while.
Melchior didn't look up from the ground as he spoke next. "Do you regret it?"
--
Moritz bit on the inside of his lip as Melchior ranted, not sure he could take this fighting. Perhaps it would be better to leave Melchior like this. He felt anxious as he got closer, afraid he would find the gun, would get even more enraged... Moritz checked his pocket, making sure his jacket securely covered the bulge.
His eyes stayed down however when Melchior asked him that question-- his eyes widened a bit and he stared at his friend. That was a good question-- did he? Moritz thought about it silently, replaying the event in his head, blushing just lightly, before he finally said, "No... I don't think I do..."
--
Melchior looked up, seeing the blush on Moritz's cheeks - and that spoke more words than anything did. He moved a bit closer, feeling the cold from the storm starting to hit them in the hayloft. "Then why make such a deal out of it, Moritz? Do you think people would look at you differently if they found out? Just look at Hanschen and Ernst. No one thinks anything of what they do, and they do much worse things than we did last night..."
Melchior moved closer still, feigning to try to explain to Moritz what he meant. If the time was right, he would. Instead, he just picked up some more hay, laying it on his lap. Out of all his friends, why was it Moritz he had to drive away? He was the one he needed the most...
--
Moritz's face reddened even worse as he talked of Ernst and Hanschen. He knew only vaguely what they did from what Melchior told him, and even that was a stretch. Melchior hadn't covered such things in the essay...
"I-I..." Moritz took a shaky breath before finally saying softly, for once expressing how he truly felt, "I was afraid-- if we did things like that-- we wouldn't be friends any more... and you wouldn't like me any more... "
--
Melchior moved so close to Moritz that their legs were touching. He figured it was now or never. Say something, Melchior! "Moritz...." he started, looking at the hay for reassurance.
"I wouldn't have even asked to do any of that to you if I didn't want to do it myself. It took a lot out of me to just do what we did." He felt his cheeks get pink as well. "Moritz, no matter what we go through, I will always be your friend-" he stopped himself from adding something else to the end of that sentence, "and I'll never quit liking you. Ever, Moritz." He could feel his hands shaking, his fingers trembling, and he doubted it was from the cold. Had he said too much?
--
Moritz shifted a bit as Melchior moved even closer, his fingers pulling rather anxiously at the hay as his eyes moved from his lap to Melchior and then back again.
However, as Melchior confessed how they would never stop being friends, Moritz smiled lightly. It was a rather sad smile-- he felt guilty now for what he was going to do. Would it be more painful for them to be resolved or unresolved when Moritz died...? He supposed it was better this way...better knowing that at least Melchior had still cared for him in the end.
"I'll like you forever too, Melchior... so-- please don't blame yourself." Moritz pleaded. He couldn't tell him-- but he needed to know. Melchior would understand later.
--
Moritz bit his tongue, not telling Melchior anything-- he couldn't...he would just try to talk him out of it. Then Melchior was leaning into kiss him again and his breath caught in his throat and his back stiffened. Did he want this--? What would happen if--?
But before Moritz could worry, his body had already leaned forward, closing the bit of space and pressing his lips to Melchior's. Moritz realized it didn't matter-- he could make one final, huge mistake with Melchior, because in the end, Moritz wouldn't have to face the shame or the possible repercussions.
--
Melchior almost kicked himself for being so impulsive, but he could tell by Moritz's reaction that he wanted it too. He inched himself closer to Moritz, never pulling away from his lips. Melchior's heart started to beat faster, and he couldn't help himself from moaning.
Yesterday might have been a mistake, but today... today wasn't. Not in his book. He put a little more pressure against Moritz's lips, parting his lips slightly.
He wanted to show Moritz how much he cared. How much he loved him. He couldn't bring himself to put words to what he was feeling, so he decided to show him instead. Moritz seemed more accustomed to learning by visuals anyway.
--
Moritz shifted slightly, making sure Melchior's leg wouldn't brush up against his pocket. He pulled back and took a gasping breath as he opened his eyes (not realizing they had fallen closed).
Moritz looked into Melchior's own dark eyes-- seeing the true affection and concern and-- love there. A warm fuzzy feeling filled Moritz's chest, like when he had kissed Melchior the other day, and his fingers came up, pulling at Melchior's dress shirt, pulling him back against him as he kissed him again.
--
Melchior's breathing had become ragged, fast, and short. He never wanted to let him go. He wanted to keep kissing him, do so much more...
Moritz's sudden dominance made Melchior gasp. He grabbed Moritz, pressing their bodies closer together. He wanted to be this close to Moritz every day of his life. He felt his tongue slide into Moritz's mouth without thinking, deepening their kiss.
--
Moritz shuddered lightly, feeling Melchior's tongue press into his mouth. Shyly, he pressed his own pink muscle back, trying to get accustomed to the sloppy, wet feeling. However, it also brought that tingling all throughout his body back, not to mention the pooling of heat in his groin.
Moritz shifted, wanting so much to press up against Melchior even further, but he couldn't let himself-- the gun weighed down Moritz's conscious, always prevalent in the back of his mind.
--
Melchior moaned, trying to shift closer to Moritz. He pulled away for a moment, gently sliding Moritz’s jacket off his shoulders. Melchior was breathing more heavily now, giving himself a breather before he attached his lips back to Moritz’s.
He paused briefly, just long enough to speak. “If you want me to stop, I will…” Speaking probably ruined the moment, but he would have rather have done it like that than have Moritz run away from him again.
--
Moritz's breath caught in his throat when Melchior spoke. If they kept doing this-- Melchior would find the gun-- wouldn't he? What were they even about to do...? Moritz's face flushed with embarrassment before he asked softly, "--What...what are you going to do, Melchior...?"
--
Melchior felt himself smile a sadistic smile as he pulled away from Moritz again. Would he even know if he told him?
Melchior stepped back, sitting on his knees. He slid his suspenders off his shoulders, reaching down to untuck his shirt. “It’s just like in the essay, Moritz. Let me show you…” He leaned over to kiss him again, the softness of his lips letting Moritz know that everything would turn out okay.
--
Moritz shuddered, not sure he liked Melchior's smile... but the sight of his friend undressing made his arousal throb even harder between his legs-- and then Melchior was kissing him again... soft and slow and pleasant. Moritz quelled any of his fears, shifting slightly as he pressed up against Melchior.
--
Melchior pulled back from Moritz, shifting slightly as he unbuttoned his trousers. “I didn’t quite get to this in the essay,” he laughed, running his fingers through his messy hair. He looked at Moritz, sincerity the only thing apparent in his eyes. “I...I love you, Moritz...I would never do anything to hurt you, ever.” Melchior placed his hand against Moritz’s chest, gently pushing him back against the hay.
--
Moritz shifted uncomfortably, watching Melchior unbutton his trousers. His heart seemed to leap up into his chest-- and then he was confessing something like that-- his friend who didn't even believe in love…? Moritz didn't know what to think. For some reason, his entire chest felt fuzzy and warm and he was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling of the hayloft. "...I love you too, Melchior..." Moritz breathed out softly, squeezing his eyes shut as he suddenly felt tears rising up.
--
Melchior’s brow furrowed a bit at Moritz. “Moritz?” he spoke softly, stroking his cheek. “Please don’t cry. It’s just me... You know I would never hurt you.”
Melchior assumed position between Moritz’s legs, getting rid of his clothing. Melchior slid his fingers slowly down Moritz’s length, grinning to himself at the pre-cum that had formed. He looked up to the shaky Moritz, pleading for him to let him continue.
Only this time (he hoped) it could lead into something more.
--
Moritz nodded slowly, gasping shakily as Melchior removed his pants and underwear. Luckily, it seemed he hadn't noticed the gun in his pocket-- he shifted slightly, wanting to try to kick his pants further back but then Melchior was lying back between his legs-- staring at him like that...
"A--Ahnn..." Moritz moaned out softly as he felt Melchior's fingers tease over his length, his hands balling in the hay, wishing he had something more solid to grab onto. "Melchior..." was all he said, but he was giving him permission-- if he was going to become an angel, then at least he could say he did something like this...
--
Melchior nodded, gently taking Moritz into his mouth. His hand reached for Moritz’s pants, pushing them out of the way with one quick shove.
Melchior traced every inch of Moritz’s arousal with his tongue, letting a hand trace along his thigh.
He tried not to think about yesterday, about the mistake... Melchior was going to make sure that today ended differently. He let his mouth travel up and down the other boy’s length, head bobbing as he quickened his pace.
--
Moritz couldn't stand just holding onto the hay-- one hand came to pull at Melchior's curled locks once more, groaning out softly as he picked up the pace. He tried to keep his hips back, afraid he might choke his friend-- but as the pleasure mounted, he couldn't stay as still as he wanted.
--
Melchior couldn't stand it. He needed a release of his own.
He looked up at Moritz with half-lidded eyes, letting out a hum from the back of his throat. He knew all too well what set Moritz off, so to say.
--
Moritz shuddered violently as he felt Melchior humming around his length once more. His fingers tightened and he felt that familiar heat clenching in his lower abdomen before he lost it. His hips jerked erratically, coming in several short thrusts inside Melchior's mouth.
Moritz fell back into the hay, boneless and trembling in the aftermath of his orgasm, his breaths speeding along with his heart.
--
Moritz gasped for air, focusing on breathing. He could hear Melchior speaking, taking in the concept of what he said-- but his body was so overcome by the waves of his orgasm, the pounding of his heart and the heaving of his chest were first and foremost.
Moritz felt Melchior's head come onto his chest-- a blush rising in his cheeks as he listened to his heart. He felt slightly uncomfortable-- not sure how to react...how he was supposed to react...
--
Melchior flipped back over onto his back, staring at the ceiling of the hayloft. He didn't want to scare Moritz, freak him out... so he would lay low for a while. Give him some room to breathe (literally).
--
Moritz blushed, sensing Melchior's reluctance to move off of him. He felt somewhat bad, but he was glad to be given a bit of time to take a breather.
He shifted uncomfortable, the hay itchy and annoying against his bare skin-- but he was too afraid to reach down and pull his pants up, afraid the gun would fall out or the noise of his movement would draw Melchior's attention and make him see it. So instead Moritz tried to lie still, tried to block out the poke and press of the uncomfortable grain.
--
Melchior didn't know what to do. Scratch that, he knew what he wanted to do, but he didn't know if he could bring himself to do it. It was probably too early to do that already anyway.
He sat up, picking up pieces of hay as he threw them onto the ground far below them. He sighed, still hearing the heavy pounds of rain droplets on the roof of their refuge place.
He searched for the words inside his head, what to ask Moritz, what to say to Moritz after something like that, but every word that came to mind was gibberish or not the right thing to say. He wanted to say how sorry he was, yet also not sorry. He wanted to let him know just how much he wanted them to be one. He had never felt like this before, not even with Wendla. He didn't know why he decided to feel it at this moment - but he had to obey the word of his body.
"Moritz," he whispered, beckoning him to sit up. His hand reached out for Moritz's length, wanting so much to stroke it, but he pulled his fingers back in good judgment. He wasn't going to do anything else to Moritz unless he wanted him to. Or at least he would try his damnedest to control himself.
--
Moritz sat up slowly, pulling his legs up a bit, wrapping his arms loosely around his knees, trying to cover up somewhat. A blush was on his cheeks from feeling so exposed with the other, grateful that was he was at least still wearing his shirt.
"...Yes, Melchi...?" He breathed out softly, eyes questioning as he stared at his friend. Melchior looked troubled, slightly distraught. Moritz hoped he wasn't the cause of such emotion-- though he knew he probably was.
--
Melchior shook his head, regaining his composure before turning back to face Moritz. "I--" Since when was he awkward with Moritz? The way he was acting right now caused him to kick himself mentally.
"I..." He couldn't say it. He wanted to ask politely, and another part of him just wanted to do it. But he knew if he did the latter that it would hurt Moritz and that wasn't what he wanted to do. That was never the case.
Words were failing him now, and he couldn't stand it. Instead of trying to utter something that would ultimately come out in a jumble of nothingness, he pulled Moritz to him to kiss him again.
--
Moritz could sense Melchior's hesitation-- he was holding something back... Moritz's eyebrows knitted together in confusion and he felt anxious, not sure what to expect next from his friend...
And then he was kissing him again and Moritz shuddered, feeling himself drawn into Melchior once more. But he needed to know. Slowly, Moritz pulled back from the kiss, gasping a bit before he asked soft and breathless, "What is it, Melchi...?"
--
Melchior inched closer to Moritz, sitting on his knees. He paused before speaking, trying to gather the right words in his head. "If it's okay for Hanschen and Ernst, then it's okay for us, right?" he said aloud, not meaning it to be any louder than a whisper - but he feared it was.
"Do you trust me?" He asked Moritz, looking into his eyes. He was so much softer with Moritz, not controlling and forceful like he was with Wendla; Moritz was much more delicate.
--
Moritz only half-nodded, still feeling hazy on what it was that Ernst and Hanschen even did exactly...
"Of course, Melchi..." He replied, pouring his hear into that simple statement, his eyes finding Melchior's and he hoped that his friend could see how much he truly did trust him, did care for him.
Daringly, Moritz reached out, running his hand gently from the top of Melchior's, down his arm, trying to be comforting.
--
Melchior smiled, capturing Moritz's lips in a gentle kiss. He pulled away gently, whispering into Moritz's ear, "Turn around." He got up off his knees, sliding his trousers down his legs far enough to free his needy arousal.
Melchior ran a hand up and down Moritz's arm, giving him the same comforting feeling that Moritz had given him just seconds before.
--
Moritz's face flushed, but he wasn’t sure why he was so embarrassed at first. Probably because he had no idea what Melchior was going to do... Shakily, Moritz obeyed, slowly turning around in the hay.
He folded his legs up under his body, sitting on his knees, with his back towards Melchior. Moritz looked back at the other male over his shoulder, his mouth going dry and palms getting sweaty at the sight of Melchior's arousal.
"Melchi..." Moritz breathed out, full of need, but also with a touch of fear and confusion in his voice.
--
"Shhh," Melchior whispered, reaching around Moritz to stroke his length. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said, placing kisses on the back of Moritz's neck.
He crawled closer to Moritz, so close that his erection was almost touching Moritz's entrance; the simple movement was enough to make him come. He moved back slightly, taking his other hand into his mouth, gently sucking on his first three fingers, coating them in saliva.
A finger slowly made its way toward Moritz's entrance, sliding in with ease. He breathed heavily in his chest, prepared to pull out the moment he heard any discomfort from Moritz. His finger pulled the ring of muscle, probing further before he added another finger.
--
Moritz's hips jerked, trying to get away from Melchior's hand, his length feeling too hypersensitive still from having just orgasmed. He shuddered and whimpered loudly, trying to pull away but to no avail.
However just as soon as Moritz had started to become hard again, he felt Melchior's finger probing at his entrance, back jerking straight and falling forward somewhat in surprise, pulling away. "M-Melchi...?" Moritz breathed out, confused. He was on all fours know, his hands clenching in the hay as he felt strange sensations from that finger pumping in and out of him...
--
Melchior pulled his hand away from Moritz's length, feeling him jerk away from his hand. He had better things to do with his fingers.
He didn't give Moritz much time to react before inserting a third finger. He made sure to stretch him, probing and pulling at the sensitive muscle. His voice was low, shrouded in lust for the boy in front of him. "Am I hurting you?"
--
Moritz's eyes clenched shut as he felt a third finger touching him-- there, causing his body to jerk forward and then back a bit, fingers grasping at loose hay.
"I--I... I don't think so..." He gasped out, just the slightest bit uncomfortable at being stretched so-- and yet it was-- thrilling, sending him odd sensations that only made his length throb even harsher.
--
"Good," Melchior said, his voice barely audible. He removed his fingers from Moritz, wiping them on the itchy pieces of hay under them. He moved further back from Moritz, lying almost completely on his stomach. He smirked to himself, gripping Moritz's trembling thighs.
Melchior's tongue replaced his fingers at Moritz's entrance, teasing him more than his fingers had done previously.
--
Moritz shuddered, finding himself missing the fingers within him, but then he cried out when he felt that tongue probing his entrance.
"A--Ah--!" His hips jerked backwards, pushing Melchior's tongue in even further, whimpering as he felt his friend's hot breath against his bare skin. The pleasure made Moritz's entire body feel hot and his length throbbed needily between his spread legs.
--
Melchior couldn't get enough of Moritz. He let his tongue pry deeper still, making damn sure to have him craving more.
He pulled back from Moritz for a second, coating his fingers in saliva once more. He slid his tongue back inside Moritz's tight entrance, letting his fingers follow suit. He pushed them further inside Moritz, scissoring the ring of muscle as his tongue found more to explore.
--
Moritz cried out again, the pleasure becoming almost too much and yet not enough. He didn't know why this was so erotic, bringing out such reactions in him-- but he felt like he needed more, more than just Melchior's tongue-- even after he added his fingers-- he needed more...
Moritz arched back, hips grinding rather greedily, fucking Melchior's finger and tongue desperately. He panted harshly, back arched and his fists clenched tight as he let his lust take over.
--
Melchior pulled back, wiping his hand on the ground. He ran the fingers of his other hand through Moritz's messy hair, moving forward to whisper in his ear. "Turn around," he said again, leaning back against the wall. He pulled Moritz onto his lap, kissing his neck gently. His hands snaked around his waist, pulling Moritz to him.
The heat between them was unbearable and it was getting to the point of being painful now. He felt his swollen erection sliding against Moritz's stomach, the fact that they hadn't gone further yet driving him nuts. He wanted it to be special, though. He wasn't going to hurt Moritz, but he also wanted Moritz to want it too. To want it as bad as he did.
Melchior's breath was hot against Moritz's ear as he whispered, "I want you...."
--
Moritz complied to Melchior's wish, wanting to see him again, to hold him and be close to him. Moritz moved, feeling a bit awkward as he sat on Melchior's lap, his legs on either side of his friend's waist and his arms strewn lazily across his neck. He tried not to feel awkward, to not gasp as their erections slid together.
However at those breathless words, Moritz heard himself moan softly, before he breathed out a bit stupidly, "But-- you already have me..."
--
Melchior smiled at Moritz, capturing his lips in a long kiss. He held onto Moritz closely, pressing their bodies together as they kissed. He pulled away after a while, looking straight at Moritz. "God, Moritz," he said, shaking his head. "I love you so much." He knew he had already said it before, but he wanted Moritz to know how truthful he was. How much he really meant it.
Melchior spit into his hand, grunting as he stroked his needy erection. Once it was fully coated in saliva, he spread Moritz's legs apart a bit more, guiding himself to Moritz's entrance. He let himself stay like that for a moment, looking at Moritz before he pushed himself in any further.
--
Moritz blinked and nodded, smiling lightly, a bit lop-sided. "I love you too, Melchior..." He breathed out happily, his chest feeling a bit constricted with how much he truly cared for Melchior, but also the guilt he felt for what he knew was still evident...
He could at least forget about that in these sweet moments with Melchior-- caught up in his hand and his breath and his lips...
Moritz shuddered when he felt Melchior spread his legs apart a bit more; he adjusted, sitting on his knees, still on either side of Melchior's own legs.
When he felt his friend's erection at his entrance, excitement gripped him. He remembered the pleasure he had felt before and let out a shaky breath before looking into Melchior's eyes. He tightened his arms around the other boy's neck before pressing his lips hungrily against Melchior's, giving him his consent in that kiss.
--
Melchior felt his lips curl into a smile as they kissed, never breaking away from Moritz. He guided himself toward Moritz's tight entrance, taking in another deep breath as he slid inside the other boy. He crashed their lips even harder together, trying to cover up the pain that was sure to hit Moritz soon.
--
Moritz tried to return that hungry kiss, but as he felt Melchior pushing into him, the pain shot through his body. His fingers dug into the other's back unintentionally and he pulled back from the kiss, crying out softly in pain. Tears stung his eyes but he clenched them shut, trying to keep from crying as he felt Melchior's throbbing length inside him.
It was exciting and pleasing and painful all at once, the strange mix of emotions making Moritz feel slightly light-headed. His head fell into the crook of Melchior's neck, panting harshly as he tried to adjust to the feeling of Melchior inside him, as he tried to keep back those tears.
Finally, once he thought he could handle it, Moritz pressed a soft kiss to Melchior's lips, silently willing him to continue.
--
Melchior kissed back gently and rubbed along Moritz's thighs, hoping to ease some of the boy's discomfort. The tight heat that enveloped him made him crazy and he wanted nothing more than to shove Moritz to the ground and pound into that tight heat. He forced himself to be gentle though as he slipped his tongue into Moritz's, giving a small thrust into the boy above him.
His mind was going crazy from the sensation of finally being with Moritz, fully, completely and utterly. They had always been close, but this was a connection that you could never take away no matter what. He wished that they could just stay up in the loft forever like this and never leave. Melchior knew firsthand that all good things must come to an end, but this was one good thing that he was going to keep going for as long as he could.
--
Moritz tried to focus on this slow kiss with Melchior, though still, his finger tightened and dug in slightly when he jerked up into him, groaning into the kiss. Moritz tried to keep still at first, but as he began to get more comfortable, he found himself yearning for more friction, more pressure...
Daringly, he lowered his hips a bit further, sitting completely on Melchior's lap, his length pressed even further into him. He jerked his hips somewhat and felt Melchior's arousal press just lightly against that spot deep within him. Moritz cried out from the sudden assault of pleasure, his entire body spasming for a moment.
He needed that pleasure again-- desperately, and so Moritz moved his hips back up before coming back down on Melchior's quickly, crying out as once more his prostate was hit. Slowly, Moritz began this pattern, his thighs starting to tremble with the exertion of it and all the pleasure he felt over and over, blocking out any remaining pain.
--
Melchior groaned, struggling to keep his hands down at his sides. He returned Moritz's assaulting kiss with just as much fervor, feigning crying out himself. He pulled away, grunting and groaning as he felt himself get closer and closer....
The hay beneath him was sure to leave red marks, but that was something he could live with. He felt himself jerk his hips upward into Moritz, shoving his need deeper into Moritz with every heavy thrust. He developed a rhythm of his own, bobbing along with Moritz.
His hand slid down Moritz's throbbing length, spreading the pre-come as he started with rough, fast strokes.
--
Moritz's grip around Melchior's neck tightened somewhat, pulling their bodies even closer, his length sandwiched almost completely between their two abdomens. It provided a bit of pleasure to his hypersensitive length as his hips jerked up and down over Melchior's own arousal, his rubbed and pressed between them.
He cried out when he felt Melchior push into him as well, his knees starting to ache and his thighs starting to shake, feeling even weaker, but that incredible pleasure kept him going, never having felt such a thing.
Moritz gasped sharply when he felt Melchior's hand over his length, already making his panting breath speed faster. He was so close-- so close-- His hips jerked erratically over Melchior's thick arousal, pushing down fully, feeling that press against his prostate, the feel of Melchior's fist over his length-- and Moritz lost it.
He came in several hot spurts, his hips thrusting up into Melchior's hand, coating his fingers and Moritz's stomach with the white, hot liquid.
--
Melchior bit his lip so fiercely that he tasted the metallic taste of blood, feeling himself near his own breaking point.
He grabbed one of Moritz's hips, squeezing so tight he was sure to leave a bruise. He panted harshly, letting his hips jerk forward into Moritz. His thrusts became harder and that was when he felt it - his thighs were trembling and he knew he was about to hit...
He gave one final thrust, releasing his seed into Moritz. His whole body shuddered. He had never felt something so... amazing in his life. Daringly, he pulled his hand back from Moritz's length, licking the white substance off his hand.
He leaned back against the hay, letting his breathing get back to normal.
--
Moritz gasped, moaning softly when he felt Melchior's own release within him. Slowly, once it seemed his friend had stopped, Moritz stood up. His legs trembled and he moved just enough to not be over Melchior before he let his body fall into the hay next to the other.
He had a longing to curl into his side-- to touch him affectionately... Moritz's breaths were still racing, his entire body still trembling lightly. He moved into Melchior, pressing against him, just to feel his body.
It was then that he noticed that the storm had passed, there was no rain or thunder plaguing them anymore... just quiet serenity after the storm.
--
Melchior moved closer to Moritz, wrapping his arms around his still-trembling frame. He sighed, running his fingers through Moritz's untamed locks. He looked to the roof of the hayloft, not hearing anymore pounding.
"It seems as though the storm has passed," Melchior breathed out softly, his first sentence in what seemed like hours. He didn't care if the storm had passed or not. He wanted to stay there with Moritz, to just hold him to his heart's content...
He turned on his side, scooting closer so their bodies were closer together. He stroked Moritz's cheek, gently pressing his lips against the other's. If this is what happens during a storm, Melchior thought to himself, then I hope it rains more often.
--
Moritz couldn't withhold his tired, lop-sided grin as Melchior pressed even closer to him, wrapping his arms around him protectively. The weight he had been carrying all day felt like it had finally slipped off as he lay here, naked and panting with the other.
He kissed Melchior softly, fingers roaming gently over his friend's strong chest, feeling his heart beat, still racing somewhat as was his own...
Moritz could have laid here forever, he wanted to-- but he knew Melchior was just delaying the inevitable. If he didn't get up soon, then he would never get up and while he knew that the other would get upset if he pulled away- he had to.
Reluctantly, Moritz pulled back, untangling himself from his friend's limbs. He stood up, a bit wobbly still. His calves and knees were red from being pressed into the hay, but Moritz tried to ignore it as he moved to gather his clothes, face flushing a bit from embarrassment as he realized how very naked he was.
--
Melchior couldn't hold back his grin, even as Moritz moved away from him. Melchior followed suit, searching around the hayloft for his clothes. He grunted as he got up, rubbing his back to get the itchy grain from off of him. He stood as well, climbing down the stairs to retrieve some of his clothes; they had been removed so frantically, there were shirts and trousers in every part of the hayloft it seemed.
He found his dress shirt, using the back of it to wipe off the remainder of the white substance from his stomach. It was if Moritz had claimed him that way...
He found the rest of his clothes, dressing quickly. He sat at the edge of the stairs, waiting for Moritz to come down. He wished they could have stayed in that naked heap forever, just holding each other... but he knew that eventually they would have to leave the hayloft. The weather had cleared up, after all, and Melchior had said they would only stay in there during the storm.
--
Moritz was thankful that Melchior had gone down to retrieve some of his lost clothing, leaving him to dress himself in solitude. He used the handkerchief in the pocket of his jacket to wipe off the stains on his stomach before leaving it in a random pile of hay. Moritz didn't want them to find something like that with his body...
He pulled his trousers on, the weight of the gun back and thus the weight he had felt all day seemed to be pressing down on him once more, making his shoulders sag and his chest ache. Moritz dressed slowly, making sure he looked as pristine as he had when he had left the house that morning. He still wanted to look nice for his death.
Moritz finally climbed down the steps, no longer afraid of the possible fall or how far up he was. How odd-- in these last hours of life, all anxiety and fear seemed to escape him. He supposed he needed peace at some point.
--
Melchior crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the ladder. He looked over to Moritz, no longer seeing that smiled he had seen just moments before. He was worried, but he didn't want to do anything that might impair his judgment, so he just shrugged it off.
He stood next to Moritz, waiting for him to speak. He wanted to hold him once more, comfort him, let him know that if anything was wrong, he'd be there for him and it would be okay. But he just stood there.
Against his mind's wishes, he pressed up against Moritz, hugging him tightly.
--
Moritz looked at Melchior, face betraying nothing. However when he hugged him, he felt his lower lip quiver and he had to hold back tears. His arms came up, reluctant at first, but then he found himself holding on tightly to Melchior, wishing to never let go.
Slowly, though, Moritz forced himself to pull back, realizing how careless he was, hugging Melchior so tight. He couldn't be delayed any longer...he feared if he waited much longer he would just back out completely.
"...It isn't you fault." was all Moritz could make himself say, finding Melchior's eyes. All his love and compassion for the other shone there in his dark orbs.
And then he was walking away, forcing himself not to look back as he strode out of the barn and into the wet night. The ground was soggy and he walked along the path of the river, listening to it rushing by even faster, lapping even higher at the edges after the onslaught of rain.
Moritz finally found the perfect spot on the edge, just below a tree. He knelt down, feeling the soil sink beneath his knees and dirty his pants. Why had he even bothered to look nice--?
His last thoughts were of Melchior, reliving their last moment. It had filled him up better than other fantasy or dream-- it left his conscious as peace, knowing he had at least finally done something-- something right.
The gun was in his mouth.
The world fell deaf to his ears.
After storms, the sky always seemed to appear brighter. But now-- it was only dark.
"So dark..."
Bang.
--
He didn't want to let him go. He pressed closer to him, feeling something hard in Moritz's pants. He was going to say something about it, but he thought nothing of it, after what they had just done...
Melchior looked at Moritz strangely, questioning himself as he walked away. "What isn't my fault...?"
He stayed in the hayloft for a while, fiddling with the pieces of grain. The storm had cleared, but there were still traces of rain. His Mother would be incredibly worried as to where he was, so reluctantly he left his refuge place. He stood in the doorway, looking back at the upper level where he and Moritz just were. He couldn't hold back a smile, just thinking about everything. It had happened so fast, but he was glad it happened. He shook his head, finding his jacket lying on
the ground. He slid it over his shoulders, shivering as he left the deserted hayloft.
He took the long way back home, through the forest, watching as his shoes sloshed in the mud.
Bang.
He glanced up as he thought he heard something, walking to where the noise was.
That's when he saw him - the cold, lifeless Moritz, laying on the ground in a heap of blood. He ran towards him, tears starting to run down his cheeks in waterfalls.
He tripped on a twig, crashing into the mud next to Moritz's body. "Moritz!" he cried out, swallowing back the vomit rising up in his throat. The sight of his mutilated body made him sick. He held what was left of Moritz's body in his hands, letting the tears fall over him.
"Why? God, why?"
There was a reason he didn't believe in God.
Rain started to fall again. Melchior was crying so hard, it was hard to tell if he was wet from the pouring rain or his own salty tears. He saw something next to his body. A gun...?
He picked up the silver weapon, tossing it in his hand. The tears fell faster now, and he threw it into the water. He stood up, his head in his hands.
"That's what he meant...."
He kicked at the mud beneath his shoes, falling back down to the ground. He slammed his fists against the ground, feeling as though it was his fault, even when Moritz had assured him that it wasn't. He lay back in the mud, letting his already blood and tear-soiled clothes get soaked. He didn't care anymore. It's not as if Moritz would be around anyway…
He couldn't believe it had happened. Was that why Moritz ran away last night? To plan this? There was a moment of hope it seemed, in the hayloft, but even Melchior realized now that it was inevitable.
Melchior knew there was nothing he could have done to change Moritz's mind, and that's what hurt him the most.
fin.
Moritz - nummy_cream_puf
Pairing: Melchioritz
Fandom: Spring Awakening
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Melchior chases after Moritz when he runs away after their night together. It starts to rain, so they hide in the hayloft and sexyiemz ensue. Worst summary ever, but hey. :|
Warnings: Lots of sex: Beej, rimming, lap sex. Aaaangst. Some fluff, too!
Word Count: 8,089
Notes: Follow-up to the first RP. It turned out a lot longer than I thought it would, but I am very proud of it and I know Sarah is too. :D I'm pretty sure this pairing is my OTP now. Like, srsly. We've been working on this for like a week and it has been OWNING MY LIFE. Read it and you will see why~ ♥♥
ETA: While reading this aloud to my friend, I realized that I left out a VERY PIVOTAL POST. D: You don't have to go back and read it, but. I left out a pretty big chunk. XD; I REALLY NEED TO NOT FAIL AT EDITING NEXT TIME.
Moritz had raced home, luckily finding his parents already gone. He couldn't take this anymore-- couldn't keep doing this. Little things going wrong had littered his life, but certainly, this was one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made. Moritz found it-- the gun he often stared at, sometimes even held, on the evenings after school when his parents were out to town. It was a bitterly cold piece of comfort that should things get too tough, there was already this way out...
He didn't sleep that night, milling over everything-- no, he didn't sleep for fear of those dreams. Moritz wanted it all to end with a somewhat clear subconscious. Instead, he replayed and replayed that evening's events, blushing fiercely every time he recalled what Melchior had done. He tried to ignore that part-- though that was the whole problem...
Once dawn came, Moritz left his room, pausing at the door to his parent's room. He could hear them sleeping within. He wouldn't disturb them- not now, not ever. No longer would they be burdened with him as their son.
Moritz spent most of the morning trudging through the forest. Where could he do this? He didn't think he wanted to be found- at least not at first... He crossed the bridge, staring down at the rapidly moving water. It had stormed the previous night and already Moritz could see another one on the horizon. He wondered if he killed himself before the rain, what all the water would do to the blood...
Then he heard the call of his name and Moritz nearly jumped out of his skin. Without turning around, he knew who it was and yet still, Moritz turned to look.
"Melchior..."
--
Melchior doubled over, clutching his chest as he tried to catch his breathing. He had run into the forest, knowing full well where Moritz would retreat.
"Moritz," he breathed, trying to walk closer to the other boy. "Please just talk to me. It doesn't have to be like this!" He looked up at the sky, searching for nothing in particular.
"Please, Moritz."
--
Moritz was too frightened at first to say anything, though he was worried about Melchior as he bent over to catch his breath briefly. He didn't dare move as Melchior moved forward, instead staying pressed against the railing of the bridge.
"...Be like what?" Moritz asked dumbly, playing stupid. There was no way-- no, certainly Melchior didn't know... his hand fell to his pocket, feeling the heavy object within, making sure Melchior couldn't see it.
He was dressed in his Sunday best- his shoes polished and his jacket ironed. His tie wasn't askew for once and Moritz had even managed to keep his socks pulled up all day.
--
"I..." he sighed, feeling it was best to keep his distance from Moritz; he stayed a good 100 feet away.
"I just... I know I crossed the line earlier and I shouldn't have done that. However, you didn't have to run away from me, Moritz. I'm your best friend! If you run away from me, who else can you go to?" Sick of the dead air between them, he walked toward the bridge and stood next to him. "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"
--
Moritz turned away from Melchior as he talked, staring once more at the rush of water beneath his feet.
So Melchior was talking about yesterday...
"I know Melchior but-- what happened... that isn't normal. Friends don't-- do that..." He mumbled weakly, only then realizing that Melchior had said he was Moritz's best friend-- he hadn't denied it? Or tried to sever all ties?
--
"Who's to say it isn't normal, Moritz? Are you trying to tell me that those feelings we feel aren't normal? I'm not going to lie and say I did the right thing but I’m also not going to deny ever doing it, either!"
He tried to step closer to Moritz, following his gaze to the calming water beneath them. "Moritz..." Melchior sighed, running a finger through his curly, disheveled hair. "I don't know what to do either, okay? But I’m not going to let you just run away from it as if it never happened.”
--
He should have expected this outburst from Melchior, but still he cringed slightly all the same from his friend's words. Moritz supposed he was right-- in fact, he knew he couldn't ignore it. But it was so much easier-- so less painful...he already had to deal with so much pain already.
Moritz looked up from the water, seeing the clouds getting darker, closer. The wind was picking up as the storm blew in. Damnit-- he would have to wait until after...
"Melchi, the storm..." Moritz said, not averting his eyes from the oncoming clouds.
--
Melchior looked at the clouds forming above him, holding out a hand to catch a rain droplet. "Well what do you know, it's raining." He wasn't fazed by the rain at all. Sure, it was going to get cold soon, but he was going to talk to Moritz - no matter what it took.
"Come on," Melchior said, leading Moritz away from the bridge. "We'll catch cold if we stay out here. We can stay in the hayloft until the storm passes."
--
Moritz supposed that he couldn't lose Melchior before the storm-- he would just have to get rid of him once it passed. Moritz didn't want an audience for this-- didn't even want Melchior to know until after he had gone through with it. He knew that Melchior would just get angry and try to talk him down from it.
"Alright..." Moritz said meekly, following Melchior off the bridge and through the small field to the abandoned barn on the edge near the woods. All the children loved to play here, even though their parents said it was unsafe. The hayloft though still had large amounts of hay left, that the children all loved to lay in or play and hide-and-go-seek in. Moritz supposed that as older kids they could use it simply as a place of refuge.
He wished they could once more be wistful children playing hide-and-go-seek...
Moritz was somewhat afraid of heights, but he clenched his eyes shut as he moved up the ladder into the hayloft, focusing on putting one foot above another until he finally scrambled onto the landing behind Melchior.
--
Melchior backed up against the wall of the hayloft, still keeping his distance from Moritz. He didn't want to, but he knew that's what Moritz wanted right now and he didn't want to make it any worse for him. He had already fucked up once.
"You don't have to stay in here. Just until the storm passes," Melchior said quietly, almost finding the sounds of rain to be comforting.
He pulled his knees to his chest, waiting for Moritz to speak. He looked around the hayloft, seeing all the pieces of hay in random places about the building. He smiled to himself, remembering all the times when he, Ilse, Wendla, and Moritz played hide-and-seek. Being a kid was so easy. You didn't have a care in the world, didn't have to worry about anything... But they were growing up now, and they needed to figure things out for themselves. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry," he said after a while, almost too quietly for Moritz to hear.
--
Moritz watched as Melchior moved. Did he not want to be near him? Something hard and heavy felt like it was pressing down on his chest and so Moritz simply sat in a small bit of hay a good amount away from Melchior. His legs folded in that childish manner in instinct, but then Moritz shifted, adjusting so that his legs ran straight out in front of him. He would sit like an adult. He needed to at some point in his life.
Just barely, he was able to hear Melchior's apology over the rain as it started to pick up, a clap of thunder sounding in the distance. Moritz would have counted the seconds between the bolt of lightning and the next sound of thunder, but his mind wasn't in the right place for such light-hearted antics.
"...Don't be. Please." Moritz pleaded softly, his eyes staring down at the hay, fingers picking absentmindedly at the itchy grain. "Just-- please know it’s not your fault."
Once he was gone, he didn't want Melchior blaming himself for this-- it was all Moritz. All things wrong with him.
--
"How can I not be?" Melchior questioned, crawling on his knees to sit in front of Moritz now. "I... I let my wants get the best of me. But can you blame me, Moritz?" Melchior had a habit of ranting and raving when he felt strongly, and this was one of those times. He wanted to tell Moritz the kind of things he dreamt about at night... whom he dreamt about, but it would only make things worse.
Melchior looked at the ground, picking up a piece of hay as he twisted it in his fingers. The sounds of thunder and lightning only seemed to get stronger, so he knew they were going to be in there for a while.
Melchior didn't look up from the ground as he spoke next. "Do you regret it?"
--
Moritz bit on the inside of his lip as Melchior ranted, not sure he could take this fighting. Perhaps it would be better to leave Melchior like this. He felt anxious as he got closer, afraid he would find the gun, would get even more enraged... Moritz checked his pocket, making sure his jacket securely covered the bulge.
His eyes stayed down however when Melchior asked him that question-- his eyes widened a bit and he stared at his friend. That was a good question-- did he? Moritz thought about it silently, replaying the event in his head, blushing just lightly, before he finally said, "No... I don't think I do..."
--
Melchior looked up, seeing the blush on Moritz's cheeks - and that spoke more words than anything did. He moved a bit closer, feeling the cold from the storm starting to hit them in the hayloft. "Then why make such a deal out of it, Moritz? Do you think people would look at you differently if they found out? Just look at Hanschen and Ernst. No one thinks anything of what they do, and they do much worse things than we did last night..."
Melchior moved closer still, feigning to try to explain to Moritz what he meant. If the time was right, he would. Instead, he just picked up some more hay, laying it on his lap. Out of all his friends, why was it Moritz he had to drive away? He was the one he needed the most...
--
Moritz's face reddened even worse as he talked of Ernst and Hanschen. He knew only vaguely what they did from what Melchior told him, and even that was a stretch. Melchior hadn't covered such things in the essay...
"I-I..." Moritz took a shaky breath before finally saying softly, for once expressing how he truly felt, "I was afraid-- if we did things like that-- we wouldn't be friends any more... and you wouldn't like me any more... "
--
Melchior moved so close to Moritz that their legs were touching. He figured it was now or never. Say something, Melchior! "Moritz...." he started, looking at the hay for reassurance.
"I wouldn't have even asked to do any of that to you if I didn't want to do it myself. It took a lot out of me to just do what we did." He felt his cheeks get pink as well. "Moritz, no matter what we go through, I will always be your friend-" he stopped himself from adding something else to the end of that sentence, "and I'll never quit liking you. Ever, Moritz." He could feel his hands shaking, his fingers trembling, and he doubted it was from the cold. Had he said too much?
--
Moritz shifted a bit as Melchior moved even closer, his fingers pulling rather anxiously at the hay as his eyes moved from his lap to Melchior and then back again.
However, as Melchior confessed how they would never stop being friends, Moritz smiled lightly. It was a rather sad smile-- he felt guilty now for what he was going to do. Would it be more painful for them to be resolved or unresolved when Moritz died...? He supposed it was better this way...better knowing that at least Melchior had still cared for him in the end.
"I'll like you forever too, Melchior... so-- please don't blame yourself." Moritz pleaded. He couldn't tell him-- but he needed to know. Melchior would understand later.
--
Moritz bit his tongue, not telling Melchior anything-- he couldn't...he would just try to talk him out of it. Then Melchior was leaning into kiss him again and his breath caught in his throat and his back stiffened. Did he want this--? What would happen if--?
But before Moritz could worry, his body had already leaned forward, closing the bit of space and pressing his lips to Melchior's. Moritz realized it didn't matter-- he could make one final, huge mistake with Melchior, because in the end, Moritz wouldn't have to face the shame or the possible repercussions.
--
Melchior almost kicked himself for being so impulsive, but he could tell by Moritz's reaction that he wanted it too. He inched himself closer to Moritz, never pulling away from his lips. Melchior's heart started to beat faster, and he couldn't help himself from moaning.
Yesterday might have been a mistake, but today... today wasn't. Not in his book. He put a little more pressure against Moritz's lips, parting his lips slightly.
He wanted to show Moritz how much he cared. How much he loved him. He couldn't bring himself to put words to what he was feeling, so he decided to show him instead. Moritz seemed more accustomed to learning by visuals anyway.
--
Moritz shifted slightly, making sure Melchior's leg wouldn't brush up against his pocket. He pulled back and took a gasping breath as he opened his eyes (not realizing they had fallen closed).
Moritz looked into Melchior's own dark eyes-- seeing the true affection and concern and-- love there. A warm fuzzy feeling filled Moritz's chest, like when he had kissed Melchior the other day, and his fingers came up, pulling at Melchior's dress shirt, pulling him back against him as he kissed him again.
--
Melchior's breathing had become ragged, fast, and short. He never wanted to let him go. He wanted to keep kissing him, do so much more...
Moritz's sudden dominance made Melchior gasp. He grabbed Moritz, pressing their bodies closer together. He wanted to be this close to Moritz every day of his life. He felt his tongue slide into Moritz's mouth without thinking, deepening their kiss.
--
Moritz shuddered lightly, feeling Melchior's tongue press into his mouth. Shyly, he pressed his own pink muscle back, trying to get accustomed to the sloppy, wet feeling. However, it also brought that tingling all throughout his body back, not to mention the pooling of heat in his groin.
Moritz shifted, wanting so much to press up against Melchior even further, but he couldn't let himself-- the gun weighed down Moritz's conscious, always prevalent in the back of his mind.
--
Melchior moaned, trying to shift closer to Moritz. He pulled away for a moment, gently sliding Moritz’s jacket off his shoulders. Melchior was breathing more heavily now, giving himself a breather before he attached his lips back to Moritz’s.
He paused briefly, just long enough to speak. “If you want me to stop, I will…” Speaking probably ruined the moment, but he would have rather have done it like that than have Moritz run away from him again.
--
Moritz's breath caught in his throat when Melchior spoke. If they kept doing this-- Melchior would find the gun-- wouldn't he? What were they even about to do...? Moritz's face flushed with embarrassment before he asked softly, "--What...what are you going to do, Melchior...?"
--
Melchior felt himself smile a sadistic smile as he pulled away from Moritz again. Would he even know if he told him?
Melchior stepped back, sitting on his knees. He slid his suspenders off his shoulders, reaching down to untuck his shirt. “It’s just like in the essay, Moritz. Let me show you…” He leaned over to kiss him again, the softness of his lips letting Moritz know that everything would turn out okay.
--
Moritz shuddered, not sure he liked Melchior's smile... but the sight of his friend undressing made his arousal throb even harder between his legs-- and then Melchior was kissing him again... soft and slow and pleasant. Moritz quelled any of his fears, shifting slightly as he pressed up against Melchior.
--
Melchior pulled back from Moritz, shifting slightly as he unbuttoned his trousers. “I didn’t quite get to this in the essay,” he laughed, running his fingers through his messy hair. He looked at Moritz, sincerity the only thing apparent in his eyes. “I...I love you, Moritz...I would never do anything to hurt you, ever.” Melchior placed his hand against Moritz’s chest, gently pushing him back against the hay.
--
Moritz shifted uncomfortably, watching Melchior unbutton his trousers. His heart seemed to leap up into his chest-- and then he was confessing something like that-- his friend who didn't even believe in love…? Moritz didn't know what to think. For some reason, his entire chest felt fuzzy and warm and he was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling of the hayloft. "...I love you too, Melchior..." Moritz breathed out softly, squeezing his eyes shut as he suddenly felt tears rising up.
--
Melchior’s brow furrowed a bit at Moritz. “Moritz?” he spoke softly, stroking his cheek. “Please don’t cry. It’s just me... You know I would never hurt you.”
Melchior assumed position between Moritz’s legs, getting rid of his clothing. Melchior slid his fingers slowly down Moritz’s length, grinning to himself at the pre-cum that had formed. He looked up to the shaky Moritz, pleading for him to let him continue.
Only this time (he hoped) it could lead into something more.
--
Moritz nodded slowly, gasping shakily as Melchior removed his pants and underwear. Luckily, it seemed he hadn't noticed the gun in his pocket-- he shifted slightly, wanting to try to kick his pants further back but then Melchior was lying back between his legs-- staring at him like that...
"A--Ahnn..." Moritz moaned out softly as he felt Melchior's fingers tease over his length, his hands balling in the hay, wishing he had something more solid to grab onto. "Melchior..." was all he said, but he was giving him permission-- if he was going to become an angel, then at least he could say he did something like this...
--
Melchior nodded, gently taking Moritz into his mouth. His hand reached for Moritz’s pants, pushing them out of the way with one quick shove.
Melchior traced every inch of Moritz’s arousal with his tongue, letting a hand trace along his thigh.
He tried not to think about yesterday, about the mistake... Melchior was going to make sure that today ended differently. He let his mouth travel up and down the other boy’s length, head bobbing as he quickened his pace.
--
Moritz couldn't stand just holding onto the hay-- one hand came to pull at Melchior's curled locks once more, groaning out softly as he picked up the pace. He tried to keep his hips back, afraid he might choke his friend-- but as the pleasure mounted, he couldn't stay as still as he wanted.
--
Melchior couldn't stand it. He needed a release of his own.
He looked up at Moritz with half-lidded eyes, letting out a hum from the back of his throat. He knew all too well what set Moritz off, so to say.
--
Moritz shuddered violently as he felt Melchior humming around his length once more. His fingers tightened and he felt that familiar heat clenching in his lower abdomen before he lost it. His hips jerked erratically, coming in several short thrusts inside Melchior's mouth.
Moritz fell back into the hay, boneless and trembling in the aftermath of his orgasm, his breaths speeding along with his heart.
--
Moritz gasped for air, focusing on breathing. He could hear Melchior speaking, taking in the concept of what he said-- but his body was so overcome by the waves of his orgasm, the pounding of his heart and the heaving of his chest were first and foremost.
Moritz felt Melchior's head come onto his chest-- a blush rising in his cheeks as he listened to his heart. He felt slightly uncomfortable-- not sure how to react...how he was supposed to react...
--
Melchior flipped back over onto his back, staring at the ceiling of the hayloft. He didn't want to scare Moritz, freak him out... so he would lay low for a while. Give him some room to breathe (literally).
--
Moritz blushed, sensing Melchior's reluctance to move off of him. He felt somewhat bad, but he was glad to be given a bit of time to take a breather.
He shifted uncomfortable, the hay itchy and annoying against his bare skin-- but he was too afraid to reach down and pull his pants up, afraid the gun would fall out or the noise of his movement would draw Melchior's attention and make him see it. So instead Moritz tried to lie still, tried to block out the poke and press of the uncomfortable grain.
--
Melchior didn't know what to do. Scratch that, he knew what he wanted to do, but he didn't know if he could bring himself to do it. It was probably too early to do that already anyway.
He sat up, picking up pieces of hay as he threw them onto the ground far below them. He sighed, still hearing the heavy pounds of rain droplets on the roof of their refuge place.
He searched for the words inside his head, what to ask Moritz, what to say to Moritz after something like that, but every word that came to mind was gibberish or not the right thing to say. He wanted to say how sorry he was, yet also not sorry. He wanted to let him know just how much he wanted them to be one. He had never felt like this before, not even with Wendla. He didn't know why he decided to feel it at this moment - but he had to obey the word of his body.
"Moritz," he whispered, beckoning him to sit up. His hand reached out for Moritz's length, wanting so much to stroke it, but he pulled his fingers back in good judgment. He wasn't going to do anything else to Moritz unless he wanted him to. Or at least he would try his damnedest to control himself.
--
Moritz sat up slowly, pulling his legs up a bit, wrapping his arms loosely around his knees, trying to cover up somewhat. A blush was on his cheeks from feeling so exposed with the other, grateful that was he was at least still wearing his shirt.
"...Yes, Melchi...?" He breathed out softly, eyes questioning as he stared at his friend. Melchior looked troubled, slightly distraught. Moritz hoped he wasn't the cause of such emotion-- though he knew he probably was.
--
Melchior shook his head, regaining his composure before turning back to face Moritz. "I--" Since when was he awkward with Moritz? The way he was acting right now caused him to kick himself mentally.
"I..." He couldn't say it. He wanted to ask politely, and another part of him just wanted to do it. But he knew if he did the latter that it would hurt Moritz and that wasn't what he wanted to do. That was never the case.
Words were failing him now, and he couldn't stand it. Instead of trying to utter something that would ultimately come out in a jumble of nothingness, he pulled Moritz to him to kiss him again.
--
Moritz could sense Melchior's hesitation-- he was holding something back... Moritz's eyebrows knitted together in confusion and he felt anxious, not sure what to expect next from his friend...
And then he was kissing him again and Moritz shuddered, feeling himself drawn into Melchior once more. But he needed to know. Slowly, Moritz pulled back from the kiss, gasping a bit before he asked soft and breathless, "What is it, Melchi...?"
--
Melchior inched closer to Moritz, sitting on his knees. He paused before speaking, trying to gather the right words in his head. "If it's okay for Hanschen and Ernst, then it's okay for us, right?" he said aloud, not meaning it to be any louder than a whisper - but he feared it was.
"Do you trust me?" He asked Moritz, looking into his eyes. He was so much softer with Moritz, not controlling and forceful like he was with Wendla; Moritz was much more delicate.
--
Moritz only half-nodded, still feeling hazy on what it was that Ernst and Hanschen even did exactly...
"Of course, Melchi..." He replied, pouring his hear into that simple statement, his eyes finding Melchior's and he hoped that his friend could see how much he truly did trust him, did care for him.
Daringly, Moritz reached out, running his hand gently from the top of Melchior's, down his arm, trying to be comforting.
--
Melchior smiled, capturing Moritz's lips in a gentle kiss. He pulled away gently, whispering into Moritz's ear, "Turn around." He got up off his knees, sliding his trousers down his legs far enough to free his needy arousal.
Melchior ran a hand up and down Moritz's arm, giving him the same comforting feeling that Moritz had given him just seconds before.
--
Moritz's face flushed, but he wasn’t sure why he was so embarrassed at first. Probably because he had no idea what Melchior was going to do... Shakily, Moritz obeyed, slowly turning around in the hay.
He folded his legs up under his body, sitting on his knees, with his back towards Melchior. Moritz looked back at the other male over his shoulder, his mouth going dry and palms getting sweaty at the sight of Melchior's arousal.
"Melchi..." Moritz breathed out, full of need, but also with a touch of fear and confusion in his voice.
--
"Shhh," Melchior whispered, reaching around Moritz to stroke his length. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said, placing kisses on the back of Moritz's neck.
He crawled closer to Moritz, so close that his erection was almost touching Moritz's entrance; the simple movement was enough to make him come. He moved back slightly, taking his other hand into his mouth, gently sucking on his first three fingers, coating them in saliva.
A finger slowly made its way toward Moritz's entrance, sliding in with ease. He breathed heavily in his chest, prepared to pull out the moment he heard any discomfort from Moritz. His finger pulled the ring of muscle, probing further before he added another finger.
--
Moritz's hips jerked, trying to get away from Melchior's hand, his length feeling too hypersensitive still from having just orgasmed. He shuddered and whimpered loudly, trying to pull away but to no avail.
However just as soon as Moritz had started to become hard again, he felt Melchior's finger probing at his entrance, back jerking straight and falling forward somewhat in surprise, pulling away. "M-Melchi...?" Moritz breathed out, confused. He was on all fours know, his hands clenching in the hay as he felt strange sensations from that finger pumping in and out of him...
--
Melchior pulled his hand away from Moritz's length, feeling him jerk away from his hand. He had better things to do with his fingers.
He didn't give Moritz much time to react before inserting a third finger. He made sure to stretch him, probing and pulling at the sensitive muscle. His voice was low, shrouded in lust for the boy in front of him. "Am I hurting you?"
--
Moritz's eyes clenched shut as he felt a third finger touching him-- there, causing his body to jerk forward and then back a bit, fingers grasping at loose hay.
"I--I... I don't think so..." He gasped out, just the slightest bit uncomfortable at being stretched so-- and yet it was-- thrilling, sending him odd sensations that only made his length throb even harsher.
--
"Good," Melchior said, his voice barely audible. He removed his fingers from Moritz, wiping them on the itchy pieces of hay under them. He moved further back from Moritz, lying almost completely on his stomach. He smirked to himself, gripping Moritz's trembling thighs.
Melchior's tongue replaced his fingers at Moritz's entrance, teasing him more than his fingers had done previously.
--
Moritz shuddered, finding himself missing the fingers within him, but then he cried out when he felt that tongue probing his entrance.
"A--Ah--!" His hips jerked backwards, pushing Melchior's tongue in even further, whimpering as he felt his friend's hot breath against his bare skin. The pleasure made Moritz's entire body feel hot and his length throbbed needily between his spread legs.
--
Melchior couldn't get enough of Moritz. He let his tongue pry deeper still, making damn sure to have him craving more.
He pulled back from Moritz for a second, coating his fingers in saliva once more. He slid his tongue back inside Moritz's tight entrance, letting his fingers follow suit. He pushed them further inside Moritz, scissoring the ring of muscle as his tongue found more to explore.
--
Moritz cried out again, the pleasure becoming almost too much and yet not enough. He didn't know why this was so erotic, bringing out such reactions in him-- but he felt like he needed more, more than just Melchior's tongue-- even after he added his fingers-- he needed more...
Moritz arched back, hips grinding rather greedily, fucking Melchior's finger and tongue desperately. He panted harshly, back arched and his fists clenched tight as he let his lust take over.
--
Melchior pulled back, wiping his hand on the ground. He ran the fingers of his other hand through Moritz's messy hair, moving forward to whisper in his ear. "Turn around," he said again, leaning back against the wall. He pulled Moritz onto his lap, kissing his neck gently. His hands snaked around his waist, pulling Moritz to him.
The heat between them was unbearable and it was getting to the point of being painful now. He felt his swollen erection sliding against Moritz's stomach, the fact that they hadn't gone further yet driving him nuts. He wanted it to be special, though. He wasn't going to hurt Moritz, but he also wanted Moritz to want it too. To want it as bad as he did.
Melchior's breath was hot against Moritz's ear as he whispered, "I want you...."
--
Moritz complied to Melchior's wish, wanting to see him again, to hold him and be close to him. Moritz moved, feeling a bit awkward as he sat on Melchior's lap, his legs on either side of his friend's waist and his arms strewn lazily across his neck. He tried not to feel awkward, to not gasp as their erections slid together.
However at those breathless words, Moritz heard himself moan softly, before he breathed out a bit stupidly, "But-- you already have me..."
--
Melchior smiled at Moritz, capturing his lips in a long kiss. He held onto Moritz closely, pressing their bodies together as they kissed. He pulled away after a while, looking straight at Moritz. "God, Moritz," he said, shaking his head. "I love you so much." He knew he had already said it before, but he wanted Moritz to know how truthful he was. How much he really meant it.
Melchior spit into his hand, grunting as he stroked his needy erection. Once it was fully coated in saliva, he spread Moritz's legs apart a bit more, guiding himself to Moritz's entrance. He let himself stay like that for a moment, looking at Moritz before he pushed himself in any further.
--
Moritz blinked and nodded, smiling lightly, a bit lop-sided. "I love you too, Melchior..." He breathed out happily, his chest feeling a bit constricted with how much he truly cared for Melchior, but also the guilt he felt for what he knew was still evident...
He could at least forget about that in these sweet moments with Melchior-- caught up in his hand and his breath and his lips...
Moritz shuddered when he felt Melchior spread his legs apart a bit more; he adjusted, sitting on his knees, still on either side of Melchior's own legs.
When he felt his friend's erection at his entrance, excitement gripped him. He remembered the pleasure he had felt before and let out a shaky breath before looking into Melchior's eyes. He tightened his arms around the other boy's neck before pressing his lips hungrily against Melchior's, giving him his consent in that kiss.
--
Melchior felt his lips curl into a smile as they kissed, never breaking away from Moritz. He guided himself toward Moritz's tight entrance, taking in another deep breath as he slid inside the other boy. He crashed their lips even harder together, trying to cover up the pain that was sure to hit Moritz soon.
--
Moritz tried to return that hungry kiss, but as he felt Melchior pushing into him, the pain shot through his body. His fingers dug into the other's back unintentionally and he pulled back from the kiss, crying out softly in pain. Tears stung his eyes but he clenched them shut, trying to keep from crying as he felt Melchior's throbbing length inside him.
It was exciting and pleasing and painful all at once, the strange mix of emotions making Moritz feel slightly light-headed. His head fell into the crook of Melchior's neck, panting harshly as he tried to adjust to the feeling of Melchior inside him, as he tried to keep back those tears.
Finally, once he thought he could handle it, Moritz pressed a soft kiss to Melchior's lips, silently willing him to continue.
--
Melchior kissed back gently and rubbed along Moritz's thighs, hoping to ease some of the boy's discomfort. The tight heat that enveloped him made him crazy and he wanted nothing more than to shove Moritz to the ground and pound into that tight heat. He forced himself to be gentle though as he slipped his tongue into Moritz's, giving a small thrust into the boy above him.
His mind was going crazy from the sensation of finally being with Moritz, fully, completely and utterly. They had always been close, but this was a connection that you could never take away no matter what. He wished that they could just stay up in the loft forever like this and never leave. Melchior knew firsthand that all good things must come to an end, but this was one good thing that he was going to keep going for as long as he could.
--
Moritz tried to focus on this slow kiss with Melchior, though still, his finger tightened and dug in slightly when he jerked up into him, groaning into the kiss. Moritz tried to keep still at first, but as he began to get more comfortable, he found himself yearning for more friction, more pressure...
Daringly, he lowered his hips a bit further, sitting completely on Melchior's lap, his length pressed even further into him. He jerked his hips somewhat and felt Melchior's arousal press just lightly against that spot deep within him. Moritz cried out from the sudden assault of pleasure, his entire body spasming for a moment.
He needed that pleasure again-- desperately, and so Moritz moved his hips back up before coming back down on Melchior's quickly, crying out as once more his prostate was hit. Slowly, Moritz began this pattern, his thighs starting to tremble with the exertion of it and all the pleasure he felt over and over, blocking out any remaining pain.
--
Melchior groaned, struggling to keep his hands down at his sides. He returned Moritz's assaulting kiss with just as much fervor, feigning crying out himself. He pulled away, grunting and groaning as he felt himself get closer and closer....
The hay beneath him was sure to leave red marks, but that was something he could live with. He felt himself jerk his hips upward into Moritz, shoving his need deeper into Moritz with every heavy thrust. He developed a rhythm of his own, bobbing along with Moritz.
His hand slid down Moritz's throbbing length, spreading the pre-come as he started with rough, fast strokes.
--
Moritz's grip around Melchior's neck tightened somewhat, pulling their bodies even closer, his length sandwiched almost completely between their two abdomens. It provided a bit of pleasure to his hypersensitive length as his hips jerked up and down over Melchior's own arousal, his rubbed and pressed between them.
He cried out when he felt Melchior push into him as well, his knees starting to ache and his thighs starting to shake, feeling even weaker, but that incredible pleasure kept him going, never having felt such a thing.
Moritz gasped sharply when he felt Melchior's hand over his length, already making his panting breath speed faster. He was so close-- so close-- His hips jerked erratically over Melchior's thick arousal, pushing down fully, feeling that press against his prostate, the feel of Melchior's fist over his length-- and Moritz lost it.
He came in several hot spurts, his hips thrusting up into Melchior's hand, coating his fingers and Moritz's stomach with the white, hot liquid.
--
Melchior bit his lip so fiercely that he tasted the metallic taste of blood, feeling himself near his own breaking point.
He grabbed one of Moritz's hips, squeezing so tight he was sure to leave a bruise. He panted harshly, letting his hips jerk forward into Moritz. His thrusts became harder and that was when he felt it - his thighs were trembling and he knew he was about to hit...
He gave one final thrust, releasing his seed into Moritz. His whole body shuddered. He had never felt something so... amazing in his life. Daringly, he pulled his hand back from Moritz's length, licking the white substance off his hand.
He leaned back against the hay, letting his breathing get back to normal.
--
Moritz gasped, moaning softly when he felt Melchior's own release within him. Slowly, once it seemed his friend had stopped, Moritz stood up. His legs trembled and he moved just enough to not be over Melchior before he let his body fall into the hay next to the other.
He had a longing to curl into his side-- to touch him affectionately... Moritz's breaths were still racing, his entire body still trembling lightly. He moved into Melchior, pressing against him, just to feel his body.
It was then that he noticed that the storm had passed, there was no rain or thunder plaguing them anymore... just quiet serenity after the storm.
--
Melchior moved closer to Moritz, wrapping his arms around his still-trembling frame. He sighed, running his fingers through Moritz's untamed locks. He looked to the roof of the hayloft, not hearing anymore pounding.
"It seems as though the storm has passed," Melchior breathed out softly, his first sentence in what seemed like hours. He didn't care if the storm had passed or not. He wanted to stay there with Moritz, to just hold him to his heart's content...
He turned on his side, scooting closer so their bodies were closer together. He stroked Moritz's cheek, gently pressing his lips against the other's. If this is what happens during a storm, Melchior thought to himself, then I hope it rains more often.
--
Moritz couldn't withhold his tired, lop-sided grin as Melchior pressed even closer to him, wrapping his arms around him protectively. The weight he had been carrying all day felt like it had finally slipped off as he lay here, naked and panting with the other.
He kissed Melchior softly, fingers roaming gently over his friend's strong chest, feeling his heart beat, still racing somewhat as was his own...
Moritz could have laid here forever, he wanted to-- but he knew Melchior was just delaying the inevitable. If he didn't get up soon, then he would never get up and while he knew that the other would get upset if he pulled away- he had to.
Reluctantly, Moritz pulled back, untangling himself from his friend's limbs. He stood up, a bit wobbly still. His calves and knees were red from being pressed into the hay, but Moritz tried to ignore it as he moved to gather his clothes, face flushing a bit from embarrassment as he realized how very naked he was.
--
Melchior couldn't hold back his grin, even as Moritz moved away from him. Melchior followed suit, searching around the hayloft for his clothes. He grunted as he got up, rubbing his back to get the itchy grain from off of him. He stood as well, climbing down the stairs to retrieve some of his clothes; they had been removed so frantically, there were shirts and trousers in every part of the hayloft it seemed.
He found his dress shirt, using the back of it to wipe off the remainder of the white substance from his stomach. It was if Moritz had claimed him that way...
He found the rest of his clothes, dressing quickly. He sat at the edge of the stairs, waiting for Moritz to come down. He wished they could have stayed in that naked heap forever, just holding each other... but he knew that eventually they would have to leave the hayloft. The weather had cleared up, after all, and Melchior had said they would only stay in there during the storm.
--
Moritz was thankful that Melchior had gone down to retrieve some of his lost clothing, leaving him to dress himself in solitude. He used the handkerchief in the pocket of his jacket to wipe off the stains on his stomach before leaving it in a random pile of hay. Moritz didn't want them to find something like that with his body...
He pulled his trousers on, the weight of the gun back and thus the weight he had felt all day seemed to be pressing down on him once more, making his shoulders sag and his chest ache. Moritz dressed slowly, making sure he looked as pristine as he had when he had left the house that morning. He still wanted to look nice for his death.
Moritz finally climbed down the steps, no longer afraid of the possible fall or how far up he was. How odd-- in these last hours of life, all anxiety and fear seemed to escape him. He supposed he needed peace at some point.
--
Melchior crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the ladder. He looked over to Moritz, no longer seeing that smiled he had seen just moments before. He was worried, but he didn't want to do anything that might impair his judgment, so he just shrugged it off.
He stood next to Moritz, waiting for him to speak. He wanted to hold him once more, comfort him, let him know that if anything was wrong, he'd be there for him and it would be okay. But he just stood there.
Against his mind's wishes, he pressed up against Moritz, hugging him tightly.
--
Moritz looked at Melchior, face betraying nothing. However when he hugged him, he felt his lower lip quiver and he had to hold back tears. His arms came up, reluctant at first, but then he found himself holding on tightly to Melchior, wishing to never let go.
Slowly, though, Moritz forced himself to pull back, realizing how careless he was, hugging Melchior so tight. He couldn't be delayed any longer...he feared if he waited much longer he would just back out completely.
"...It isn't you fault." was all Moritz could make himself say, finding Melchior's eyes. All his love and compassion for the other shone there in his dark orbs.
And then he was walking away, forcing himself not to look back as he strode out of the barn and into the wet night. The ground was soggy and he walked along the path of the river, listening to it rushing by even faster, lapping even higher at the edges after the onslaught of rain.
Moritz finally found the perfect spot on the edge, just below a tree. He knelt down, feeling the soil sink beneath his knees and dirty his pants. Why had he even bothered to look nice--?
His last thoughts were of Melchior, reliving their last moment. It had filled him up better than other fantasy or dream-- it left his conscious as peace, knowing he had at least finally done something-- something right.
The gun was in his mouth.
The world fell deaf to his ears.
After storms, the sky always seemed to appear brighter. But now-- it was only dark.
"So dark..."
Bang.
--
He didn't want to let him go. He pressed closer to him, feeling something hard in Moritz's pants. He was going to say something about it, but he thought nothing of it, after what they had just done...
Melchior looked at Moritz strangely, questioning himself as he walked away. "What isn't my fault...?"
He stayed in the hayloft for a while, fiddling with the pieces of grain. The storm had cleared, but there were still traces of rain. His Mother would be incredibly worried as to where he was, so reluctantly he left his refuge place. He stood in the doorway, looking back at the upper level where he and Moritz just were. He couldn't hold back a smile, just thinking about everything. It had happened so fast, but he was glad it happened. He shook his head, finding his jacket lying on
the ground. He slid it over his shoulders, shivering as he left the deserted hayloft.
He took the long way back home, through the forest, watching as his shoes sloshed in the mud.
Bang.
He glanced up as he thought he heard something, walking to where the noise was.
That's when he saw him - the cold, lifeless Moritz, laying on the ground in a heap of blood. He ran towards him, tears starting to run down his cheeks in waterfalls.
He tripped on a twig, crashing into the mud next to Moritz's body. "Moritz!" he cried out, swallowing back the vomit rising up in his throat. The sight of his mutilated body made him sick. He held what was left of Moritz's body in his hands, letting the tears fall over him.
"Why? God, why?"
There was a reason he didn't believe in God.
Rain started to fall again. Melchior was crying so hard, it was hard to tell if he was wet from the pouring rain or his own salty tears. He saw something next to his body. A gun...?
He picked up the silver weapon, tossing it in his hand. The tears fell faster now, and he threw it into the water. He stood up, his head in his hands.
"That's what he meant...."
He kicked at the mud beneath his shoes, falling back down to the ground. He slammed his fists against the ground, feeling as though it was his fault, even when Moritz had assured him that it wasn't. He lay back in the mud, letting his already blood and tear-soiled clothes get soaked. He didn't care anymore. It's not as if Moritz would be around anyway…
He couldn't believe it had happened. Was that why Moritz ran away last night? To plan this? There was a moment of hope it seemed, in the hayloft, but even Melchior realized now that it was inevitable.
Melchior knew there was nothing he could have done to change Moritz's mind, and that's what hurt him the most.
fin.