lonely days and depression

[daggerinmysmile]

I need a big smack in the face. This week I've been doing nothing but sleeping and feeling sorry for myself. I hate when I feel like this. I think it stems from being lonely. Even though I have a roommate we barely see each other and when we do one of us is usually in a bad mood so we never have any fun. I swear when you live with a person it'

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[itallcrashedin]

Sometimes I show up just as the meeting starts for another reason than just running late. I don't have to talk to anyone. Then by the time it's over I feel a little better. And the meeting for service, well, it's nice to have plans with someone so I'm not stuck with the same person everyday. And I can always drone on about some return visit if I don't want to talk about myself.

And any friend should be willing to take the prunes with the plums. Granted, no one wants prunes all the time, but a nice mix is always welcome. Nothing but plums would be sort of predictable and boring.

Friends should say to each other: "OK, enough prunes"! Or, "There's a prune around here, out with it"! Smiling masks are nice for getting by in everyday situations. And field service is an everyday thing; not everyday is easy. I remember one time Mom referring to her make-up as "brave paint" because she didn't feel like going but did anyway. We've all got our masks on most of the time -- and if that's what it takes for us to get by and muddle thru this old world, then those smiling masks are OK. We've all got these burdens, and it feels good to share them with friends so the load is lighter for a bit. And good friends are eager to help. But they've got their own burdens too. I guess there's really only one friend who can help carry a load all the time -- Jah.

Well, that was a bunch of prune juice for ya. Pretty syrupy, sorry.