Well said. You know, when I was younger, I used to date the "fixer upper" guys. I'd see nothing but the good in them, and all the potential. "Oh, I could help them! I could be the one to inspire them to change! They have so much potential!"
It took me until about two or three years ago to realize that they're adults. If they're gonna change, it's gonna be on their own terms.
Now I make it a high priority to take people at face value, especially as my circle of friends gets older...for most of us, if we haven't changed yet, chances are we "ain't gonna."
One of the many lessons I have learned from my failed marriage.
I think that relationships are an ever-changing constant, if that makes sense. While it is important not to go into a relationship hoping to change someone, its also worthwhile that each person be "better" as a result of the relationship. We need to remember that each day we learn something new about our significant other, be it of 1 year or 20 years. I think that it is critical to love someone for the person he/she is, and that should also mean to love them for the person they will become as a result of the result of the relationship.
I think I've had way too much time to think about things like this :)
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It took me until about two or three years ago to realize that they're adults. If they're gonna change, it's gonna be on their own terms.
Now I make it a high priority to take people at face value, especially as my circle of friends gets older...for most of us, if we haven't changed yet, chances are we "ain't gonna."
That's the short, short version. :)
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I think that relationships are an ever-changing constant, if that makes sense. While it is important not to go into a relationship hoping to change someone, its also worthwhile that each person be "better" as a result of the relationship. We need to remember that each day we learn something new about our significant other, be it of 1 year or 20 years. I think that it is critical to love someone for the person he/she is, and that should also mean to love them for the person they will become as a result of the result of the relationship.
I think I've had way too much time to think about things like this :)
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