Eventide Changes
“To evade the shadow of the moon is to escape your own dreams”
Blessed by the grace of God Splitter.
Last week was a mass, with almost no one in base to do anything. My entire section is either out for check-ups, out for health problems from one source or another and the rest are just non-motivated. To be honest, at the first time since the war, I actually felt relaxed and in control of what happen around me. No one to bother me, except my commander, and he’s a nice guy though he’s not the sharpest knife in the box. Did some reading then, picked up Tom Clancy’s “The Cardinal of the Kremlin” to kill some good time. Rearranged the section’s office and did some other meaningless stuff that I could have delayed for weeks. But it seemed quite a good time to actually do all of that. Now all we have to do is the real work of getting everything fixed up from the war, or rather, making it better so the next one would go along better. We DO learn, though some people like to point out we do that slowly.
Officers tend to be thick in the head when it comes to changes, good thing that the new Intel officer isn’t stuck to that.
On the other hand, I’m doing quite well in doing my fitness routine, doing at least 3 aerobic activities per week, possibly 4. My last run was good, I liked it. The air is cooler, which means I can run longer without too much of a discomfort - if the weather won’t change radically, I can start running 4 times a week and still do enough belly-ups. 120 a day just doesn’t cut it - maybe I should push to 200.
My drawing inspiration has somewhat dried up - it comes and goes like every other art I dabble with, in fits and bursts. Sometimes I write down weird poetry, sometimes get the urge to write whole stories, and at times I do pottery and other stuff. It’s fun and all, but I never quite found one art that really made me as whole as the art of Role Playing Games.
I’m a storyteller at heart, I like to tell a good story - but as much as I like to tell a story, I prefer to tell it along someone else making it more then just words. The interactive experience of a good role-play session is something I have yet found a good equal in all other forms of common art. Maybe I just like the instant feedback.
Down with that, folding maps doesn’t make me too interested in work, we got some new paint for the section, and some rollers. Apparently we’re going to make good on the commander’s promise to do some renovations.
I talked with hagar around 18:00 just about every day this late week. She seems to be wrapped up pretty tight in all of those new projects - I struggle to understand just about what she’s talking about half the time. With a considerable amount of success I must say. I’m not a biologist; I’ll never be because it doesn’t interests me enough so to be immersed in it so thoroughly makes me feel kind of weird.
(I did take some biology lessons in high school, but it doesn’t cover THAT much…)
On the other hand I’m quite happy with the point of aiming to see here every weekend I’m home - any less then that would be a shame to aim to. I do hope it will happen more time then it won’t. I miss her dearly, and no amount phone talking can ever cover up the gap of no touching.
Yes, I’m mushy. But I’m the most physical person I have ever known other then Sofi, perhaps. One of the most depressing things during the war was the fact I couldn’t touch anyone, no close friend to hug or a loved one to kiss. It’s hard on me. I am quite optimistic though, with good planning we can make it work.
I trust her and I trust myself to do our very best.
This alone holds something - It has been a very long time since I actually trusted someone to do efforts on his side in order to maintain connection. Rare where the people whom really tried to do so, and rarer still the chumps I really wanted to keep connections with.
Hagar is quite different on this aspect. Though the distance and the fact I don’t see her too often strains our relationship quite hard - it’s not a real relationship unless it hold something more then mere talking on the phone. Thank goodness we both got that early enough to do something about it.
Got my new glasses, copied the room keys. Did some important stuff like practicing on writing. Actually found out I have can write quite nice when I try hard. My hands work better now, after so many years of therapy in hard word. Each time I try something new it begins to dawn upon me that sometime, not in the far future I’ll be able to actually sit and write down stuff as long as I need without fear that my fingers would betray me. So many years of avoiding that activity made me quite shy of writing down stuff other then my autograph. Two letters are on my desk for Hagar, and some shards of a story. Maybe I’ll make it a project to make a real story in hand-print. Sounds like a good practice other then twirling that heavy fighting stick around my body.
I think things are looking better now then they did before, and stuff are on yet another shift - I hope that it would be for the better, it starts to be hard avoiding the fact that things must change.
I have been too long too far apart from my friends, and I can’t seem to be able to re-connect to the ones I once knew. I need, thus, make new friends or redefine myself.
Times are shifting.
Good thing I know how to shift as well.
Other things!
I resumed painting Warhammer-40K miniatures last weekend, starting a new project of a Tau-Enhanced Carnifex. Which stands to be a huge monster (In miniature scale anyhow) based on a Tyranid Carnifex genus, from the new plastic based models. With my own innovation for cutting and putting other parts inside, I’m doing the butcher’s work of an Ork mad-doc by putting all sorts of Tau technology bits INTO the now borg-like monster. Along with a Tau Fire Warrior raider, this would be quite a thing to watch, along with being with no reason to actually exist.
But I like the way I regained my ability to really paint. It does look nice.
Next week is going to be just about as laid back as this one, and then it’s my Regila, meaning a week-long leave. In the middle my birthday, on the November First. And I have no idea how to celebrate the occasion.
Anyhow,
Happiness to thy all, then, and take it slowly. The advice I have taken from a loony guy which happens to be among my best-friends list.
Blessed by the grace of God Splitter.
Last week was a mass, with almost no one in base to do anything. My entire section is either out for check-ups, out for health problems from one source or another and the rest are just non-motivated. To be honest, at the first time since the war, I actually felt relaxed and in control of what happen around me. No one to bother me, except my commander, and he’s a nice guy though he’s not the sharpest knife in the box. Did some reading then, picked up Tom Clancy’s “The Cardinal of the Kremlin” to kill some good time. Rearranged the section’s office and did some other meaningless stuff that I could have delayed for weeks. But it seemed quite a good time to actually do all of that. Now all we have to do is the real work of getting everything fixed up from the war, or rather, making it better so the next one would go along better. We DO learn, though some people like to point out we do that slowly.
Officers tend to be thick in the head when it comes to changes, good thing that the new Intel officer isn’t stuck to that.
On the other hand, I’m doing quite well in doing my fitness routine, doing at least 3 aerobic activities per week, possibly 4. My last run was good, I liked it. The air is cooler, which means I can run longer without too much of a discomfort - if the weather won’t change radically, I can start running 4 times a week and still do enough belly-ups. 120 a day just doesn’t cut it - maybe I should push to 200.
My drawing inspiration has somewhat dried up - it comes and goes like every other art I dabble with, in fits and bursts. Sometimes I write down weird poetry, sometimes get the urge to write whole stories, and at times I do pottery and other stuff. It’s fun and all, but I never quite found one art that really made me as whole as the art of Role Playing Games.
I’m a storyteller at heart, I like to tell a good story - but as much as I like to tell a story, I prefer to tell it along someone else making it more then just words. The interactive experience of a good role-play session is something I have yet found a good equal in all other forms of common art. Maybe I just like the instant feedback.
Down with that, folding maps doesn’t make me too interested in work, we got some new paint for the section, and some rollers. Apparently we’re going to make good on the commander’s promise to do some renovations.
I talked with hagar around 18:00 just about every day this late week. She seems to be wrapped up pretty tight in all of those new projects - I struggle to understand just about what she’s talking about half the time. With a considerable amount of success I must say. I’m not a biologist; I’ll never be because it doesn’t interests me enough so to be immersed in it so thoroughly makes me feel kind of weird.
(I did take some biology lessons in high school, but it doesn’t cover THAT much…)
On the other hand I’m quite happy with the point of aiming to see here every weekend I’m home - any less then that would be a shame to aim to. I do hope it will happen more time then it won’t. I miss her dearly, and no amount phone talking can ever cover up the gap of no touching.
Yes, I’m mushy. But I’m the most physical person I have ever known other then Sofi, perhaps. One of the most depressing things during the war was the fact I couldn’t touch anyone, no close friend to hug or a loved one to kiss. It’s hard on me. I am quite optimistic though, with good planning we can make it work.
I trust her and I trust myself to do our very best.
This alone holds something - It has been a very long time since I actually trusted someone to do efforts on his side in order to maintain connection. Rare where the people whom really tried to do so, and rarer still the chumps I really wanted to keep connections with.
Hagar is quite different on this aspect. Though the distance and the fact I don’t see her too often strains our relationship quite hard - it’s not a real relationship unless it hold something more then mere talking on the phone. Thank goodness we both got that early enough to do something about it.
Got my new glasses, copied the room keys. Did some important stuff like practicing on writing. Actually found out I have can write quite nice when I try hard. My hands work better now, after so many years of therapy in hard word. Each time I try something new it begins to dawn upon me that sometime, not in the far future I’ll be able to actually sit and write down stuff as long as I need without fear that my fingers would betray me. So many years of avoiding that activity made me quite shy of writing down stuff other then my autograph. Two letters are on my desk for Hagar, and some shards of a story. Maybe I’ll make it a project to make a real story in hand-print. Sounds like a good practice other then twirling that heavy fighting stick around my body.
I think things are looking better now then they did before, and stuff are on yet another shift - I hope that it would be for the better, it starts to be hard avoiding the fact that things must change.
I have been too long too far apart from my friends, and I can’t seem to be able to re-connect to the ones I once knew. I need, thus, make new friends or redefine myself.
Times are shifting.
Good thing I know how to shift as well.
Other things!
I resumed painting Warhammer-40K miniatures last weekend, starting a new project of a Tau-Enhanced Carnifex. Which stands to be a huge monster (In miniature scale anyhow) based on a Tyranid Carnifex genus, from the new plastic based models. With my own innovation for cutting and putting other parts inside, I’m doing the butcher’s work of an Ork mad-doc by putting all sorts of Tau technology bits INTO the now borg-like monster. Along with a Tau Fire Warrior raider, this would be quite a thing to watch, along with being with no reason to actually exist.
But I like the way I regained my ability to really paint. It does look nice.
Next week is going to be just about as laid back as this one, and then it’s my Regila, meaning a week-long leave. In the middle my birthday, on the November First. And I have no idea how to celebrate the occasion.
Anyhow,
Happiness to thy all, then, and take it slowly. The advice I have taken from a loony guy which happens to be among my best-friends list.