Drabbles, Good Omens, G
Tea for Two
"Aha! I knew it!" Crowley yelled, leaping into the cafe. "I knew you were hiding something!"
"Er . . . no?" Aziraphale said.
"Hah! You were just giving this young lady mouth-to-mouth because - " Crowley paused. The woman hiding behind her menu was horribly familiar. "Lilith?" he said.
She put the menu down. "Hello, Crawley."
"You're consorting with demons? Other than me?" Crowley said. "And you - how could you? He's an angel!"
"Jealousy and guilt," Lilith said, looking between them. "Talk it out, boys, don't mind me." She smiled encouragingly.
It was not the most relaxing teatime in the history of the world.
Naturally Radiant
"Where," Aziraphale said, "is my halo? How on earth can it be missing? It's a metaphorical artistic representation of my heavenly origins, not an errant set of keys." He patted his pockets just in case.
"You know how you tell me I should partake in simple pleasures?" Crowley said. "The thing is, the last time we were in Lower Tadfield I borrowed it." He grinned at Aziraphale's expression. "I played Frisbee with Adam Young's hellhound, and it ran off with it."
". . . You're buying dinner tonight," Aziraphale said.
"Metaphorically?" Crowley said.
"Literally," Aziraphale snapped, materialising a list of extremely expensive restaurants.
One Careful Driver
"I'll drive," Aziraphale said. "I hired a car!"
"Where is it?" Crowley said.
"Right here," Aziraphale beamed.
Crowley blanched. "That," he said, "is a smart car. You're not getting me in one of those. Come to that, how are you going to get in it?"
"Don't make personal remarks," Aziraphale said, squeezing in. "Come on!"
Crowley reluctantly climbed in. "We could just put it in the back of the Bentley?" he offered.
Aziraphale ignored him and drove at exactly the speed-limit all the way to the restaurant, allowing most of London to see them.
It was, Crowley decided, hell.