Fix my Boundaries
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What if it's a negative control tactic pushing against our boundary, complete with obvious warning signs, flashing lights, and loud ringing, used to gain direction of our feelings while we're in a vulnerable state? The problem is, our feelings and emotions blind us to the obvious danger. When we see it coming, but subconsciously allow it to climb over the perimeter and into our space, we become unprotected, thus setting ourselves up for crisis. Sound Familiar?"
Yes, this is very familiar to me! Although sometimes I do a pretty good job with boundaries, often I find myself p.o.'d about something I think I have no control over. Usually it has something to do with my husband or children. True, I don't have control over what someone else does, but I do have control on how I react. I think last night at home I did a better job of "protecting my borders." There were 2 things that were done or said that I felt crossed the line. I didn't stand mutely and take it to save the peace, I confronted it The one was about my using my washing machine to clean my aging dog's bed, which has to be done once a day or maybe every other. D thought I should shake it outside first (which she had stated in our talk several weeks ago) to remove the hair, and I never commented at the time but chose to take time to consider my answer. So I told her my answer. I would not try and shake it outside, because I was too busy running it into the utility room so we could wash out the smell & shaking would be unpleasant. She was free to shake if she wanted. Ha Ha. The other thing was dinner. Honestly, Dunk & I had no plan for dinner because we thought they would be gone to T-ball practice and we could manage to put something fun together that we wanted. Without clarifying their plan, they made "Hamburger Helper" and included us. First thing, they served that before and it was gross & Dunk said in no uncertain terms that he would not eat that again. So I told them, we were making a salad with leftover BW3 boneless wings & shrimp. Very yummy. I got this reaction like they were planning on us sharing the meal. So I said.... didn't know you were going to be home, per our conversation, and I don't eat pasta because of my low carb diet and Dunk would not eat HH. Okay. sorry to vent. But I am proud of myself for speaking up and setting some boundaries.