amber i dont even kno what to say to dis..u r a very strong person for doin half dat shyt...cuz god knos i could neva do half da shyt u said..i would of give up by now..only worry bout me n mynes..stay strong and dont give up on urself..believe in u and mayb life will turn out good for u chris and da kids..all u can do is take it one day at a time..dat is some real crazy shyt tho...but i luv ya gurl and if u ever need me or juss wanna talk hit me up..215-426-4301 or 267-636-8290...
Aww.. thanks girl.. Ya know this isnt even half of it.. the stuff i wrote about isnt even the daily things that i have to worry about ya know.. like a babysitter.. money for a babysitter, diapers, food, just the whole "four kids" stress on me everyday.. Its so hard to put into words how much of me has drifted or evaporated somewhere.. crying everyday.. wishing that my life could just go back to where atleast it made sense.. ya know.. i always wanted a big family.. but not all at once.. I didnt ask god for this.. i really didnt.. and i dont appreciate everything being thrown into my lap.. I thought with my dad being my angel and looking over me, he would have helped me out too.. i know he is probably just looking out for whats best for the kids.. but damn.. i need some help too... But yeah.. im trying to be strong and Im trying to make the right choices.. but its sooo hard.. i just want out anymore.. I just want to break free from everyone.. I dont want to be tied down to no man, any kids.. nothing.. im just so tired.. I dont know..
( ... )
Your not alone
anonymous
November 3 2006, 03:39:13 UTC
Amber I know how you feel and I am in the same boat as you... My marriage has gone down the drain but I am here if you just need an ear. I am not the easiest sister to get along with but you know I am here for you. I have taken half of your responsibility to help you out but if you need more just let me know. I will do whatever I can. The baby is going to be fine and so is her sister. Her aunt will do what is best and make it work. I know you are confused but you are stronger than you let yourself and others believe. You have to stop letting people get to you and make your back bone a little stronger. You have to show some tough love although I know that is not your character but you have to do it in order to stay sane. If you need a break just give me a call... I have a heavy load here myself but I can always find time to cut you some slack and give you some space to catch your breath... Love ya...
Re: Your not alonedaddyzgrlNovember 3 2006, 16:30:24 UTC
I really do thank you for everything.. I dont ever blame you for bringing Trinity back when you did.. I know that if its hard on me... Its hard on you.. Im just so afraid for the kids.. I love Shannon to death... and for most of my life I felt as though I would give up my life if it would save hers.. the sad part is that i still feel like that.. I cant change it.. i cant turn off these feelings, even though my mind is telling me that its not right.. Im so afraid of losing her.. She is like my child and I will be lost without her.. and i know that is probably so crazy sounding.. but its how I feel..
Ya know.. its been soo long since I heard you say you love me.. I almost cried when i read it.. I know that there has always been love there between us.. but I have never felt it the way I have always wanted too.. Being said that, I do love you Kelly and I always have and I am lucky to have a stronger sister helping out.. Makes a bigg difference in my life.. Thank you for everything..
Re: Your not alone
anonymous
November 13 2006, 23:19:21 UTC
I do understand how you feel and I do love you although I don't say it... I really not that kind of person to say how I feel... Everyone thinks I have the be the strong one or the hard ass... I have been through alot that has made me this way. I do have feelings but I just don't like to show them... As soon as someone knows how you feel they feel that they can use it against you... You know what I mean... So if they don't know they don't know they can hurt you... I am here whenever you need me... And now that I have found the girls bunny slippers I will be picking them up this weekend... We will make all this drama with the kids work somehow... I will be done school so I won't have as much pressure on me that I have now... Then maybe I can help you out more than I am now...I hope all this drama isn't causing too many problems for you and Chris because you are really doing what you feel is best and men don't seem to understand that bond that is there, or the responsibility we feel for one another... As for the one I'm married too... He
( ... )
Keep ur head upvividbluizNovember 3 2006, 06:38:56 UTC
Hey amber you know i will always be here for you and the kids if you cant lean on your sisters then who can you lean on! I love you and those kids, things arent always easy i know from experances with like as long as it aint $ related i can help with anything i am broker then you so thats the only reason.
Re: Keep ur head updaddyzgrlNovember 3 2006, 16:31:32 UTC
You are doing soo much for me now.. I have lost a lot of time and I dont wanna do that no more.. I dont want to push people away.. The past is the past and I am trying to live now in the present.. I just want to have relationships with people that actually care.. ya know.. I appreciate everything that you have done for me.. Love ya
Comments 7
Reply
Reply
Reply
Ya know.. its been soo long since I heard you say you love me.. I almost cried when i read it.. I know that there has always been love there between us.. but I have never felt it the way I have always wanted too.. Being said that, I do love you Kelly and I always have and I am lucky to have a stronger sister helping out.. Makes a bigg difference in my life.. Thank you for everything..
-Amber
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment