How Time Has Gone By!!
Dear Journal,
Today marks four years that I have been with Chris.. Those years have meant the most to me and Im surprised that we have even made it this far.. Not because we dont love each other, but because we have been through so many ups and downs.. Things have stood in our way and really challenged us mentally and emotionally.. But now we stand at our four year point and I guess its not so bad.. Only two days ago, marks the three year anniversay that my dad died.. I didnt tell anyone how bad it bothered me.. I didnt even cry in front of people because it doesnt make a difference.. But I did cry.. I cried for everything that is wrong in my life.. I cried because I knew that he would be able to fix it and help me through all of these things.. I really do try to think of what he would be thinking if he was here.. but it doesnt make anything any more easier..
I really feel crazy.. I feel like I need to sign myself into a hospital just so that I would have time to think about everything in my life.. My hair is falling out, I dont wanna eat, I cant seem to concentrate on anything and Im just tired all of the time.. I havent really slept in a long time.. And when I do sleep.. I only wake up more tired then before I fell asleep.. I am trying to do certain things.. I finally got my id.. so now I can go anywhere and not worried about not getting into the place because i dont have proper id.. That feels good.. My next step is to get my permit.. I know that I want to start driving and I know that I can do it.. With me, its always when and who can take me.. Im tired of thinking like that.. I am just gonna get the book myself and Im just gonna do it.. the penndot is really close to me, so I will just start taking care of me.. People can think what they wanna think about me.. I know what Im doing and thats that..
Today marks four years that I have been with Chris.. Those years have meant the most to me and Im surprised that we have even made it this far.. Not because we dont love each other, but because we have been through so many ups and downs.. Things have stood in our way and really challenged us mentally and emotionally.. But now we stand at our four year point and I guess its not so bad.. Only two days ago, marks the three year anniversay that my dad died.. I didnt tell anyone how bad it bothered me.. I didnt even cry in front of people because it doesnt make a difference.. But I did cry.. I cried for everything that is wrong in my life.. I cried because I knew that he would be able to fix it and help me through all of these things.. I really do try to think of what he would be thinking if he was here.. but it doesnt make anything any more easier..
I really feel crazy.. I feel like I need to sign myself into a hospital just so that I would have time to think about everything in my life.. My hair is falling out, I dont wanna eat, I cant seem to concentrate on anything and Im just tired all of the time.. I havent really slept in a long time.. And when I do sleep.. I only wake up more tired then before I fell asleep.. I am trying to do certain things.. I finally got my id.. so now I can go anywhere and not worried about not getting into the place because i dont have proper id.. That feels good.. My next step is to get my permit.. I know that I want to start driving and I know that I can do it.. With me, its always when and who can take me.. Im tired of thinking like that.. I am just gonna get the book myself and Im just gonna do it.. the penndot is really close to me, so I will just start taking care of me.. People can think what they wanna think about me.. I know what Im doing and thats that..