Off The Deep End
My coworker Hermanos was called away from work today. His seven-year-old daughter called, crying over the phone, Mom is not well. His wife is schizophrenic, and as I said in my Club Schizoid post, his life really sucks.
He would like to be out of this marriage but feels trapped between doing the right thing and doing the right thing.....which are completely different things. Hermanos and I share an office, we compare schizoid notes on a near daily basis. He doesn't think leaving his wife is the right thing but he also believes staying with her may result in harm to his daughter or himself. The facts of his situation support that fear.
Two years ago his wife called 911 and told dispatch she was being held against her will, at gunpoint, by her husband. Before he knew what was going on there was a manhunt for his vehicle. He, his crazy wife, and daughter were pulled over by a several Mesa Police cruisers. They surrounded his truck. When he emerged from the vehicle TWELVE police officers had their weapons drawn and aimed at Hermanos. He lay on the ground as ordered. He was one trigger-happy-cop away from being killed.
There was no gun, there was no hostage situation, there was only a schizophrenic woman hearing voices. She has several personalities. Enough to have a pick-up basketball game in her head.
Not long after that incident, she left their daughter alone on a main road as she wandered off to find the keys to her car. A friendly passerby escorted the child off the roadside and helped her find the keys. They were in the car's ignition. Had the wrong person come along.....who knows?
She wiped out their checking and savings accounts. He found out later she hadn't paid utility bills or the mortgage for two months. He took over the finances. There's no sign of the money.
She's damaged their home searching for bugs, cameras, and spying devices she's certain Hermanos' girlfriend has planted in their home to spy in her. There are no bugs. There is no girlfriend.
When medicated, she holds a job.......in a day care facility! I know! Who's screening that hiring process? When medicated, she leads a relatively normal life but she has zero personality and is constantly making her husbands life miserable. She accuses him of having affairs. Her paranoia knows no bounds. She's anti-social and gets angry with him for having friends.
His cell phone is always ringing at work. She texts him constantly, calls, accusing him of not being at work. I don't know how he can handle this non-stop assault on his own sanity.
She's under court ordered treatment and medication. She sees a state psychiatrist once a month. They're always fiddling with her meds. She refuses to sign the consent documents enabling her husband to be part of the consultations. He's in the dark until she starts slipping away.......off the deep end.
In the past week he's told me daily that he sees her condition deteriorating. He asked her if she's taking her meds. She claims she is. He has no idea if she's taking her meds or if they've changed her meds...again. She insists she's okay but he knows the signs.
I believe he's done the best he can under terrible circumstances, but I think the best thing for him to do is divorce her and get that child away from his wife. That may seem harsh, lacking compassion, but every time his phone rings at work I fear it might be tragic news. There are no easy answers but I see protecting his daughter as priority one. I have told him this many times.
I'll call him later this afternoon to see how he's doing. I suspect he's called 'the van' again. His wife takes 'vacations' from time to time. It's the only time his life is normal.