Naughty Number Nine
Grab a coffee and smoke Dee. If anyone needs to pee, this would be the time. I'll wait for you to get back.
Jeopardy music plays in the background.
Okay, here we go..... the final vampire shift blog post. I've been working on it since I got home Friday morning. I hope I don't lose you in the aimlessness of my writing.
I'm looking forward to breathing with mortals again. I suspect I will do another tour in the crypt after the religious rituals of December. I just won't serve a six month stretch. I'm doing a 12+ hour shift tonight because Hermanos is not working Saturday. He's body-clock-adjusting.
There was a description on the radio of a crime suspect. A hispanic man, 5'9", driving a pickup with landscaping equipment in the bed. Nice job. Do you have a composite sketch of his lawn mower? We live in fucking North Mexico. Five thousand landscapers work in the valley of the sun every day, 95% of latino origin. The grass mowing Mexican is a local stereotype. Can you be more specific? I passed eight guys fitting the description before I got home.
One of my favorite things about blogging is never knowing what I'll write about or when the urge will strike. I think being unpredictable is good trait in writing.
To my LJ friend who recently blogged about Schoolhouse Rock. I went to YouTube to watched several of the old grammar and civics cartoons. I knew the words to every one. Now I can't stop singing, "I'm just a bill, yeah I'm only a bill, and I'm sittin' here on Capitol Hill." I can't get it out of my head. Thanks for that.
I will miss some things about night shift, but not many. I'll let you know when I think of one.
When I was trimming the palm trees Thursday I noticed a bunch of mom's dropping their little kiddies off at a neighbor's house. They were having a play date. When did they invent the play date? Not in the 60's or 70's. We just went outdoors to play, in the woods, on fields, in trees or on the railroad tracks .... wherever fun can be found.
Philadelphia police are searching for a middle aged man of Italian descent. He has a mullet, earrings, and drives an old camaro with a cassette deck, Bon Jovi tapes, and cheese steak wrappers on the floor. Call 1-800-GENO if you see anyone matching this description.
To the businesses advertising "like us on facebook." I don't even like facebook. Piss off.
One of the best things about a new hire at Monkeytech is all my jokes become fresh again. We have the new kid creeped out over Captain Sodomy. Yar! Thar be raping and pillaging afoot. I call junior the cabin boy.
"Conjunction Junction what's you're function? Hooking up words and phrases and clauses."
We'll be moving days before mid term elections. I will drive 20 miles out of my way, back to Gilbert, to cast my ballot against Fraulein Jan Brewer, county attorney Andrew Thomas and Sherrif Joe Arpaio ...... the axis of evil.
Authorities in Oakland are asking for the publics help in identifying a young black man wearing baggy pants, expensive athletic footwear, bling, and a silver & black baseball cap worn sideways. He was last seen listening to rap music with Black Panther brothers.
We need more adult play dates in our life. We don't do them as often as we should. Life gets busy and the routine can be tiring, but no matter how tight the schedule is you must plan a play date with someone special. You'll be glad you did.
If you Google the word sheriff, Joe Arpaio autofills after the fourth letter. I guess that makes him famous, or infamous, depending on your feelings on abuse of authority.
I just thought of a graveyard bonus I will miss ...... night shift is a no bucanneer operation. I'm telling you now. The first time the perverted pirate flashes that frilly fucking thong at me, I will have a quick cutting retort. I will not tolerate the visual violation.
YouTube is 1000 times better than Facebook. If a picture speaks a 1000 words, what does a video say? Take that Zuckerberg. You should have given 10 million to 10 school districts instead of one getting 100 million. It's simple math and fairness. And you're supposed to be a genius?
Of all the Schoolhouse Rock videos I watched the best music is Naughty Number Nine, a bluesy jazz number. This is seriously good music. Listen to the guitar-piano combo.
Click to viewWhile I was away on night duty I missed a few daytime people. Sarge would be at the top of that list, our marine like office manager guarding the bossman's door. Only ye of stout heart should challenge her authority.
There's a search in Arkansas for a bearded white guy driving a pick up truck. He's wearing a sweaty cap. Empty beer cans litter the bed. There's a NASCAR number on the rear window and tattered Confederate flag waving in the wind. Be on the lookout for that cracker.
Midnight snack break is over. My six month graveyard sentence ends when the cavalry arrives to relieve me in 7-ish hours.