(no subject)
Haha, I've noticed I only write entries in my livejournal when I'm upset.
I'm not this over-emotional or sad all the time. As many entries as I have on here bitching are really about as often as this happens.
Anyway.
I almost went a whole day without his calls.
He called about an hour ago, just to ask why I decided I wanted to stop talking. I briefly explained & he just got mad.
I hung up.
He hasn't called back since then. I want to say I think that was really the last time we'll talk...But whether or not that comes out of me secretly hoping he does call again, but I just don't want to jinx myself, I don't know.
I go back to school tomorrow. I don't want to, I haven't for the past week or two. I guess I need a little motiviation from somewhere.
Less than two years already. Then I'm out, finally. I remember when I was probably eleven or twelve reciting over & over in my head "Just 9 more years, just 9." These next two years are going to fly by, I know. As long as I'm still here, that's a good thing.
I'm going to try & get another job in the next week. My first jobs' paychecks I just wanted to use for useless bullshit I didn't need, really want, or could use in the future. Which I'm glad I did, I had a good time. But now it's time to start saving for a car. Which shouldn't take more than five or six paychecks just because I'm not looking for a brand new nice car. I'd rather buy an old ugly piece of shit that works & can hold, & use the rest of the money to save for an apartment. I know I can't afford one alone, so I'm sure I'll have one if not a few roommates.
Right now, I feel like I can start over & construct something good and something I want with my life. This could change, but it's a nice feeling...I'm going to try & keep it around.
I'm not this over-emotional or sad all the time. As many entries as I have on here bitching are really about as often as this happens.
Anyway.
I almost went a whole day without his calls.
He called about an hour ago, just to ask why I decided I wanted to stop talking. I briefly explained & he just got mad.
I hung up.
He hasn't called back since then. I want to say I think that was really the last time we'll talk...But whether or not that comes out of me secretly hoping he does call again, but I just don't want to jinx myself, I don't know.
I go back to school tomorrow. I don't want to, I haven't for the past week or two. I guess I need a little motiviation from somewhere.
Less than two years already. Then I'm out, finally. I remember when I was probably eleven or twelve reciting over & over in my head "Just 9 more years, just 9." These next two years are going to fly by, I know. As long as I'm still here, that's a good thing.
I'm going to try & get another job in the next week. My first jobs' paychecks I just wanted to use for useless bullshit I didn't need, really want, or could use in the future. Which I'm glad I did, I had a good time. But now it's time to start saving for a car. Which shouldn't take more than five or six paychecks just because I'm not looking for a brand new nice car. I'd rather buy an old ugly piece of shit that works & can hold, & use the rest of the money to save for an apartment. I know I can't afford one alone, so I'm sure I'll have one if not a few roommates.
Right now, I feel like I can start over & construct something good and something I want with my life. This could change, but it's a nice feeling...I'm going to try & keep it around.