(no subject)
im basically done with myself. i really can't believe how stupid i've been. the one person who treats me better than anyone EVER has, i hurt constantly. i AM a good person. but because he treats me so good i have to push him away, like every other fucking person who trys to get close to me. constantly being a cunt about the dumbest shit gets old fast. and i already know this but i think i can get away with it and so it continues. cheating doesn't exactly help trust. i don't even know how i allow some shit to happen. i just don't like the way i've been for the past year. things ARE going to change. i want to be who i used to be.