final words.
starvation.
...
asking you to behave is like asking the sun not to shine. something about the whole situation bothers me. i obsess about every aspect, every scar. i see your face. i hear your words.
what a load of bullshit.
i feed the anger. i feed the anger so hard that i lie cold against the ones i love. i almost cry because i feel so helpless. but you don't draw a single tear from me. i doubt you even care.
i feed the anger. i feed the anger and frustration so hard that i want to destroy you. i focus on ruining you. i focus on making your life hell.
i focus my energy on seeing that you pay.
the worst part is, you're oblivious. you're a fucking liar. a fucking cheat. the worst part is, i could see myself following through with my spiteful thoughts and not regretting a single thing.
i feed all the wrong emotions. i drain myself of happiness.
...
screams.
FUCKYOUANDYOURASSHOLESMILEFUCKINGDIPSHITFUCKFACEGOFUCKINGKILLYOURSELFIHOPEYOUDIEIHOPEYOUGETRAPEDIHOPEEVERYONEYOULOVEISKILLEDIHOPEIHOPEEVEVERYTHINGYOUHOLDDEARISDESTROYEDBEHOMELESSBEWRECKEDBEWRETCHEDBECONDEMNEDBUTDONTEVERTREADONMYDOORSTEPAGAIN.
i want to hurt you so bad i could scream.
i want to hurt you so bad.
i want you to hurt so bad.
i want you dead.
i want you broken.
i want you dead.
i want you broken.
...
reason.
...
i don't deal well with confrontation. i try skirt the issue. i try to escape scrutiny. i would rather hurt in silence than scream my pain. when people confront me with cheap intimidation, i bend. i break. i cry for mommy. i can't stand to see myself at those moments. i see a weak-willed fool. i see everything i strive not to be.
i see every hateful word i hurled thrown back at me.
i like to be in control. i like to hold power over others. i don't like it when that control or that power is questioned. it's like i can't face the fact that it's all a house of cards.
...
resolve.
...
the thing i overlooked, the one thing that makes me feel better is that even those who i look up to have trouble facing you. you're the worst liar i have ever encountered. you're the most disrespectful fuck i have ever seen. you're less than human because of it. you're a slippery animal.
but fuck you anyway. fuck your shit. you cower before others. i've seen your weaknesses. i'm not afraid of you anymore. i'm going to shit down your throat every time i see you. from now on, you will have no power of any kind over me. you use lies and deception to get your way. you will get nothing from me anymore. you won't get an inch. this is the final word: enough.
...
..
.
...
asking you to behave is like asking the sun not to shine. something about the whole situation bothers me. i obsess about every aspect, every scar. i see your face. i hear your words.
what a load of bullshit.
i feed the anger. i feed the anger so hard that i lie cold against the ones i love. i almost cry because i feel so helpless. but you don't draw a single tear from me. i doubt you even care.
i feed the anger. i feed the anger and frustration so hard that i want to destroy you. i focus on ruining you. i focus on making your life hell.
i focus my energy on seeing that you pay.
the worst part is, you're oblivious. you're a fucking liar. a fucking cheat. the worst part is, i could see myself following through with my spiteful thoughts and not regretting a single thing.
i feed all the wrong emotions. i drain myself of happiness.
...
screams.
FUCKYOUANDYOURASSHOLESMILEFUCKINGDIPSHITFUCKFACEGOFUCKINGKILLYOURSELFIHOPEYOUDIEIHOPEYOUGETRAPEDIHOPEEVERYONEYOULOVEISKILLEDIHOPEIHOPEEVEVERYTHINGYOUHOLDDEARISDESTROYEDBEHOMELESSBEWRECKEDBEWRETCHEDBECONDEMNEDBUTDONTEVERTREADONMYDOORSTEPAGAIN.
i want to hurt you so bad i could scream.
i want to hurt you so bad.
i want you to hurt so bad.
i want you dead.
i want you broken.
i want you dead.
i want you broken.
...
reason.
...
i don't deal well with confrontation. i try skirt the issue. i try to escape scrutiny. i would rather hurt in silence than scream my pain. when people confront me with cheap intimidation, i bend. i break. i cry for mommy. i can't stand to see myself at those moments. i see a weak-willed fool. i see everything i strive not to be.
i see every hateful word i hurled thrown back at me.
i like to be in control. i like to hold power over others. i don't like it when that control or that power is questioned. it's like i can't face the fact that it's all a house of cards.
...
resolve.
...
the thing i overlooked, the one thing that makes me feel better is that even those who i look up to have trouble facing you. you're the worst liar i have ever encountered. you're the most disrespectful fuck i have ever seen. you're less than human because of it. you're a slippery animal.
but fuck you anyway. fuck your shit. you cower before others. i've seen your weaknesses. i'm not afraid of you anymore. i'm going to shit down your throat every time i see you. from now on, you will have no power of any kind over me. you use lies and deception to get your way. you will get nothing from me anymore. you won't get an inch. this is the final word: enough.
...
..
.