Glad to be moving on
Currently, I find myself in a much better state in my life than I have ever been. Becoming employed has definitely made me happier. I am so thankful for having this opportunity to utilize the skills I've acquired from my last position. If the last company I worked for hadn't folded, I'm sure I would still be working with them still. This one is very similar and all the people I've met there have welcomed me with open arms. They definitely seemed like they could use the extra hand and I'm excited to be that person. Chances are, I will be sticking with this one for a very long time.
I admit to myself that the mistake of running away to MN was most definitely my own wrong doing. I stumbled into depression with a period of self-loathing. I didn't give a damn about myself or the people I love. Then after everything seemed hopeless, I became way too desperate, trying so hard to reach out to someone who I would have given my whole life to. Through my own thoughts and meditations, I've came to realization that I've become WAY too overbearing. How dare I pour out my heart in its entirety expecting someone to embrace it and welcome it into her very busy life. I must say I am better than that and I clearly wasn't thinking. I don't expect much from her anymore, but God I am so sorry for being so forward.
As a means of self punishment for (1) giving up on myself and (2) putting my foot in my mouth, I started disciplining myself. I've become much more strict on my body. I'm eating less meat, exercising way more and paying a lot more attention to improving the little things I hate the most about it, such as my complexion and teeth. My job offers a really good dental plan, so I see a much better smile in my near future. Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon as far as quitting smoking, but at least I still feel really bad about it every time I light up a cigarette. *takes another puff* DIE CANCER STICK! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!
With that, I move on with much more confidence. I'm making more of an attempt to make more friends here. It's still pretty difficult to find those I can really relate to. I'm really not picky or anything. I'd just really like to get into a deep conversation again some time. I think that's what I miss the most. There's a bar right next door I go to frequently. I'd like to go back to my favorite pub here more. I don't have a car yet, so it's kind of tough as of now. I do miss kicking back and listening to Noel belt out a happy Irish tune. Ahhh.. the rare old times, in my memories and heart, they shall remain. *sigh*
I admit to myself that the mistake of running away to MN was most definitely my own wrong doing. I stumbled into depression with a period of self-loathing. I didn't give a damn about myself or the people I love. Then after everything seemed hopeless, I became way too desperate, trying so hard to reach out to someone who I would have given my whole life to. Through my own thoughts and meditations, I've came to realization that I've become WAY too overbearing. How dare I pour out my heart in its entirety expecting someone to embrace it and welcome it into her very busy life. I must say I am better than that and I clearly wasn't thinking. I don't expect much from her anymore, but God I am so sorry for being so forward.
As a means of self punishment for (1) giving up on myself and (2) putting my foot in my mouth, I started disciplining myself. I've become much more strict on my body. I'm eating less meat, exercising way more and paying a lot more attention to improving the little things I hate the most about it, such as my complexion and teeth. My job offers a really good dental plan, so I see a much better smile in my near future. Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon as far as quitting smoking, but at least I still feel really bad about it every time I light up a cigarette. *takes another puff* DIE CANCER STICK! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!
With that, I move on with much more confidence. I'm making more of an attempt to make more friends here. It's still pretty difficult to find those I can really relate to. I'm really not picky or anything. I'd just really like to get into a deep conversation again some time. I think that's what I miss the most. There's a bar right next door I go to frequently. I'd like to go back to my favorite pub here more. I don't have a car yet, so it's kind of tough as of now. I do miss kicking back and listening to Noel belt out a happy Irish tune. Ahhh.. the rare old times, in my memories and heart, they shall remain. *sigh*