Journal Entry: 253.
So, yes; my last entry was extremelyyy emo.. oh well.
Not saying that I'm over everything that I wrote about, because a bunch of stuff has really bothered me lately, but I've come to many conclusions.
The only consistent thing in life.. is that things will change.
I guess... I mean, I'm not taking it literally, but "if you can't beat them, join them" type attitude lately. I'm sick of fighting with it. & I've come to the conclusion I would rather just NOT talk to certain people than fight with them. I'm sick of yelling & screaming in people's faces, and turning blue; so, I've accepted & embraced certain changes, and within the past few weeks, I've changed myself. I've done a few things that I shouldn't have, but I handled everything in a mature manner. I think I'm going to become a little more easy going, and just whatev with a few things. I'll never be able to change people & I'll be disappointed, but I can't let that ruin myself & not have fun. I still love those people for who they are, just not how they treat me sometimes and others sometimes.
I'm also sick of being walked all over; so you're probably going to find me sticking up for
myself a lot more. My friend said, "You're actually a bit too nice. You could tell people to eat shit every now and then." Not taking that literally either, but I think I'll take that advice. I'm going to stick up for myself & for my opinions, and I think that's going to make me a stronger & better person.
I was listening to a very old song today on the way home from North Tonawanda. "All-star" by Smashmouth.
"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas i need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, whatta' concept, i could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change......"
I mean I definitely need to get myself out of here, & I definitely decided that change may be for the good or for the bad, but the changes in other people's lives, I can't stop, and honestly, not saying that they're none of my business, but people will do what they do. & I've realized that people will still care for me, even if they do what they do.
and "didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb."
...life is like a random dance party. I don't know what songs coming on next, but all I know is that I better keep dancing. ...& I'm going to dance & have my fun. I'll keep my goals in mind, but it's always nice to have fun & I think recently I've mended a lot of things & I'm good. & glad. kinda glad that everyone made the first move though, because I was scared shitless to. I think I'm also going to get more brave. That's another thing on the agenda.
Well, I have to go pack. I'm going to boston. & I'm excited. I need to get myself away from this place.
G'nite.
Not saying that I'm over everything that I wrote about, because a bunch of stuff has really bothered me lately, but I've come to many conclusions.
The only consistent thing in life.. is that things will change.
I guess... I mean, I'm not taking it literally, but "if you can't beat them, join them" type attitude lately. I'm sick of fighting with it. & I've come to the conclusion I would rather just NOT talk to certain people than fight with them. I'm sick of yelling & screaming in people's faces, and turning blue; so, I've accepted & embraced certain changes, and within the past few weeks, I've changed myself. I've done a few things that I shouldn't have, but I handled everything in a mature manner. I think I'm going to become a little more easy going, and just whatev with a few things. I'll never be able to change people & I'll be disappointed, but I can't let that ruin myself & not have fun. I still love those people for who they are, just not how they treat me sometimes and others sometimes.
I'm also sick of being walked all over; so you're probably going to find me sticking up for
myself a lot more. My friend said, "You're actually a bit too nice. You could tell people to eat shit every now and then." Not taking that literally either, but I think I'll take that advice. I'm going to stick up for myself & for my opinions, and I think that's going to make me a stronger & better person.
I was listening to a very old song today on the way home from North Tonawanda. "All-star" by Smashmouth.
"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas i need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, whatta' concept, i could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change......"
I mean I definitely need to get myself out of here, & I definitely decided that change may be for the good or for the bad, but the changes in other people's lives, I can't stop, and honestly, not saying that they're none of my business, but people will do what they do. & I've realized that people will still care for me, even if they do what they do.
and "didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb."
...life is like a random dance party. I don't know what songs coming on next, but all I know is that I better keep dancing. ...& I'm going to dance & have my fun. I'll keep my goals in mind, but it's always nice to have fun & I think recently I've mended a lot of things & I'm good. & glad. kinda glad that everyone made the first move though, because I was scared shitless to. I think I'm also going to get more brave. That's another thing on the agenda.
Well, I have to go pack. I'm going to boston. & I'm excited. I need to get myself away from this place.
G'nite.