My thoughts make me happy.
Latley, Ive been placing myself in almost a blur of reality. In many ways this is an attempt to become much more happier with what is going on with my life. Ive felt there really isnt much substance to it anymore. Ive tried to fill the voids with day dreaming and I like it. I was at the gym and ussually the workouts are tiring and almost draining. Yet, I put myself in a different place. I saw a glimps of a Disney commercial and placed myself there. I started to smile and just think of the nice weather and "her". Ive been thinking of her so much and it makes me fill with joy. I can't really even talk with anyone about it anymore either because they will judge me for the fact that I fall for so many girls that come across. Its so new and wonderful. For awhile I thought even if I fell for someone I dont want to get into a relationship or anything serious. With "her" I just want to spend all my time making her happy and being happy with myself. I hope one day I will find someone that will find me for who I am, and I will love them for their compassion and heart. I enjoy that we can share so much with each other and yet were not very close. I really love this feeling. I am worried though, I feel its gone far enough to where she sees me as only a friend. Yet, everytime Im with her which isnt much I can be myself. I dont have to be quick to impress and I am just happy and not nervous. It's great