I enjoyed singing play crack the sky on the drive home tonight.
This vacation was jammed packed with a shit load of heartbreak to say the least. I really didnt expect this to turn out the way it did. I am always oblivious to that fact that we are having vacation till about 3 days before hand. So when I found out I thought this will be great I will have a wonderful time and just be able to cool down from everything bothering me. But, I just added to it. This week has consisted of building, breaking down, and sorting out. I am finally getting things in my mind back in tact. I guess something must have gone horribly wrong If I started writing in my live journal again. I think the fact that when I was happy I had nothing to write about didnt make me even pay attention to my live journal, now Ive got something to say. Take this with a grain of salt. whatever that means. I fell for you fast and I even told you that was my problem in the cafe and I still did it. I dont want to lose your friendship either and the last time this happend you were so distant and now its hard to understand cause you are still talking with me and makes me wonder do I still have a chance of you liking me. Im not even looking for a relationship Im just looking to be liked. The chase as Bunn puts it is something new, something fun. When I am with you its not about trying to be something im not, its just trying to keep that feeling. I want to keep it real as much as I can. When I see you, I am happy. I forget about any of your problems and what you do and you know how thats the exact opposite of me. Its not hard for me to see past it, because its not in my eyes. So now here I sit writing to you and you know who you are and Im sure most of the people reading this now do as well. You probley wont mention this cause thats not how you act. You dont act upon such things and I think you are beautiful and you are depressed so much when you have so much talent and so much potential. THINK POSI. I dont know anything about your problems though you dont open up to me and Im afraid to open up to you too much. Maybe Im not being me. Perhaps Im not showing you who I am fully. I want to speak to you about everything but when I go there I feel like I become further from having you hold something in your heart for me. When you know too much you begin to judge and you begin to make promises to yourself sealed in stone. You know too much cause I fucked up already and you will never like me and its hard for me to face that fact.