The Wall
Lauren is at the movies, and Kendall is hanging out in Hemet, and I'm lying on the couch hiccup-burping (lots of cranberry juice does that to you) and watching Law and Order reruns while my stomach growls. This sucks.
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I have two activities that make me happy these past few days, neither of them corporeal. The first is daydreaming about my fiction book/novel/story I supposedly was going to start writing, as my project to take my mind off of convalescence. Trouble is I can't decide on any course of action, plot, characterization other than a protagonist who resembles myself or an idealized version of myself, or even genre. What do I know about murder mysteries? Or can I swallow my pride and write some kind of fantasy novel to avoid the confines of reality? And it's already August, the worst month of summer because I feel like I need to start something, if not school then life. But I'm not getting better, dammit!
.
The second is daydreaming about Disneyland. I think that the fact that Andrew works there has rekindled a love, almost obsession I have had with Disneyland almost all my life. I mean, Andrew and I used to rent travel advice movies about how best to visit Disneyland in one day, and trivia books, historical collections and anything that had anything to do with Disneyland. In the last two days I have watched the Disney Sing-along Songs Disneyland Fun twice for vicarious pleasure. I really want to get an annual pass so I can really get back into the joy of Disneyland (plus it's a good place and way to meet up with Andrew and Shannon) but I have to get better and get money to do so, and I'm getting impatient!
.
So I've hit a wall. I want to be munching on some solid salty food right now, chatting with my siblings or playing a video game or having a brainstorm and writing my fun novel, getting into the characters and being excited to visit them every day as I write their story. I need an idea.
.
I have two activities that make me happy these past few days, neither of them corporeal. The first is daydreaming about my fiction book/novel/story I supposedly was going to start writing, as my project to take my mind off of convalescence. Trouble is I can't decide on any course of action, plot, characterization other than a protagonist who resembles myself or an idealized version of myself, or even genre. What do I know about murder mysteries? Or can I swallow my pride and write some kind of fantasy novel to avoid the confines of reality? And it's already August, the worst month of summer because I feel like I need to start something, if not school then life. But I'm not getting better, dammit!
.
The second is daydreaming about Disneyland. I think that the fact that Andrew works there has rekindled a love, almost obsession I have had with Disneyland almost all my life. I mean, Andrew and I used to rent travel advice movies about how best to visit Disneyland in one day, and trivia books, historical collections and anything that had anything to do with Disneyland. In the last two days I have watched the Disney Sing-along Songs Disneyland Fun twice for vicarious pleasure. I really want to get an annual pass so I can really get back into the joy of Disneyland (plus it's a good place and way to meet up with Andrew and Shannon) but I have to get better and get money to do so, and I'm getting impatient!
.
So I've hit a wall. I want to be munching on some solid salty food right now, chatting with my siblings or playing a video game or having a brainstorm and writing my fun novel, getting into the characters and being excited to visit them every day as I write their story. I need an idea.