Truly Democrat"ic" Incompetence
I like to consider myself a somewhat collected person of some intelligence. Fortunately there are cleverly designed processes in this fine country tailored to trip up even the most elitist of political enthusiasts. I'm speaking of one outwardly simple yet deviously befuddling item on the to-do list of someone planning a year-plus-long departure overseas: voter re-registration.
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I first approached the (I'm assuming) young Democrat in Hahn Plaza on a coffee break because of the sheer convenience. I've changed voter registration information twice before, so I figured this would be a no-brainer. I was only correct in one sense. Determined to seem educated in the American political system, I filled out the form with schadenfraude-inspiring overconfidence. My first mistake was entering my party affiliation as "Democrat," to which the upstart replied, "that's a common mistake; it's actually 'Democrat-ic,' not Democrat." I mumbled something about reading such information in a recent New Yorker to save face and made the correction.
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The real humiliation csme in the easiest section: when filling out my signature and date, I first signed in the wrong line. I laughed, crossed out the wayward John Hancock, and attempted to correct the error. With that firmly in (now correct) place, I proceeded to enter the date: 15/8/06. I noticed the mistake before he did and explained that I have now finally acclimated to the British system of dates, albeit a month premature.
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So I rewrote the date: 8/15/84. "Um...are you writing your birthdate, because that's a little overdue." Cursing my stupidity, I crossed out my second failed attempt and finally managed to squeeze 8/15/06 into the now obscenely crowded box.
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As I grabbed my hard-earned and appropriately named Dum-Dum lollipop and prepared to attempt an exit with what little was left of any semblance of dignity, the well-meaning youth shared some parting words:
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"I've done probably over a thousand of these forms, and I have to say this is the single worst performance on that section I have ever seen."
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I smiled and walked away, a true Democrat indeed.
.
I first approached the (I'm assuming) young Democrat in Hahn Plaza on a coffee break because of the sheer convenience. I've changed voter registration information twice before, so I figured this would be a no-brainer. I was only correct in one sense. Determined to seem educated in the American political system, I filled out the form with schadenfraude-inspiring overconfidence. My first mistake was entering my party affiliation as "Democrat," to which the upstart replied, "that's a common mistake; it's actually 'Democrat-ic,' not Democrat." I mumbled something about reading such information in a recent New Yorker to save face and made the correction.
.
The real humiliation csme in the easiest section: when filling out my signature and date, I first signed in the wrong line. I laughed, crossed out the wayward John Hancock, and attempted to correct the error. With that firmly in (now correct) place, I proceeded to enter the date: 15/8/06. I noticed the mistake before he did and explained that I have now finally acclimated to the British system of dates, albeit a month premature.
.
So I rewrote the date: 8/15/84. "Um...are you writing your birthdate, because that's a little overdue." Cursing my stupidity, I crossed out my second failed attempt and finally managed to squeeze 8/15/06 into the now obscenely crowded box.
.
As I grabbed my hard-earned and appropriately named Dum-Dum lollipop and prepared to attempt an exit with what little was left of any semblance of dignity, the well-meaning youth shared some parting words:
.
"I've done probably over a thousand of these forms, and I have to say this is the single worst performance on that section I have ever seen."
.
I smiled and walked away, a true Democrat indeed.