6 weeks
6 weeks is a long time to not update. I've gone longer, but still.
school is going all right, but i'm in over my head now with work. i'm barely keeping up.
So i both had my heart broken again by mike, and found out that he's interested in another woman all in about the same week's time. He first started out by telling me he never wanted to be with me again. Then i found out about her when i asked. cause i just had a sneaking suspicion that everything wasn't right. I need to leave my curiosities alone sometimes.
but i've come to terms with it. I will try and be friends with Mike, and try and be there for him in a supportive loving way while he's gone and not make an issue of it. if the girl holds in there for the full eight months, maybe they're meant to be together. If she doesn't, and he decides to give me another chance, i wouldn't be heartbroken about that either. I just want him to be happy now, because i think that one of us deserves it. And i'm fairly sure that it's not me. i can't find a job, i did everything in my power to make mike's life miserable without even realizing it. i am barely passing classes, only because of my own laziness and poor health. I want to run to the comfort of someone i don't even know just because they're there.... these are not qualities of a good person.
i dunno. i'm down on myself tonight. i just... *sigh* i dunno. maybe it's cause i'm sick, maybe it's because i've been forced into my room so i dont' get anyone else sick. maybe it's the fact that i can't even have a damned slice of cake but the bitch of a grandmother can. i don't know. it's something.
school is going all right, but i'm in over my head now with work. i'm barely keeping up.
So i both had my heart broken again by mike, and found out that he's interested in another woman all in about the same week's time. He first started out by telling me he never wanted to be with me again. Then i found out about her when i asked. cause i just had a sneaking suspicion that everything wasn't right. I need to leave my curiosities alone sometimes.
but i've come to terms with it. I will try and be friends with Mike, and try and be there for him in a supportive loving way while he's gone and not make an issue of it. if the girl holds in there for the full eight months, maybe they're meant to be together. If she doesn't, and he decides to give me another chance, i wouldn't be heartbroken about that either. I just want him to be happy now, because i think that one of us deserves it. And i'm fairly sure that it's not me. i can't find a job, i did everything in my power to make mike's life miserable without even realizing it. i am barely passing classes, only because of my own laziness and poor health. I want to run to the comfort of someone i don't even know just because they're there.... these are not qualities of a good person.
i dunno. i'm down on myself tonight. i just... *sigh* i dunno. maybe it's cause i'm sick, maybe it's because i've been forced into my room so i dont' get anyone else sick. maybe it's the fact that i can't even have a damned slice of cake but the bitch of a grandmother can. i don't know. it's something.