(no subject)
Listening to some of my songs I realized that it would be nice to let you all know how I really feel about you...so here it is in lyric form.
Edit - this is meant to be funny. If you are easily offended, suffice it to say - I care TONS about my friends but have a sick sense of humor. Don't look under the cut.
Let's find a rock
I mean a big-ass rock
Or maybe something like
A cinder block is better
I'll hoist it up
And drop it on your face, my buddy
And just before the lights go out
You'll see my smile and you'll know
You've got a friend
With a rock
Who cares
I mean a big-ass rock
Or rope
I got some quality rope
Made for a man who's devoid of hope
Like you are, my buddy
Michael -
Unh, that's Malcolm.
Yeah, Malcolm. Right!
And I won't leave you swinging there
Twitching like a fish while you claw the air
I'll grab your feet
And pal o' mine
I'll pull real hard
And snap your spinal cord
This world is cold when you're alone and
They ignore you
But don't kill yourself
We'll do it for you
You've got a friend
You've got a friend
You've got a friend
You know, I asked a guy once if he'd mind putting me in a barrel
and sending me over the falls. You know what the son of a bitch
said? "Drop dead, asshole."
People are pricks. I asked this guy to take his air compressor and
drill me with a six-inch nail right through the eye...
What'd he say?
"I'm low on nails."
People are selfish pricks.
Another time, now get this, I just lay down in front of a steam roller
and asked the guy just to proceed, you know, business as usual, and just
squash me like a bug.
That's a good way to go, Jer, the ol' bug squash.
Hey! We could tie a plastic laundry bag over his head.
Naw, that's such a wimp suicide.
I stuck my finger in a socket once. It hurt real bad... but it
didn't kill me.
Malcolm, stay out of this.
I've got a friend
Like Carole King
Or was it Carly Simon
Used to sing?
I always get those two confused
But anyway -
I turned around
And suddenly
I'm not alone
It ain't just me
I'm like a player on the team
Player on our team!
I'm part of the gang...
Part of the gang!
A member of the club
Welcome to the club!
Oooh ... let's get a club
I like the big-ass rock
Naw, one good swing and
I'll clean his clock
Forever
Let gravity do the work!
It's a man's way to die, Mikey.
Malcolm!
I got friends
Friends who will
Love you like a maniac
And lead you like a lamb
Ooooh...
To the railroad track
And tie you down
I've got friends!
Ooooh...
Or tickle your wrist
With a single-edge razor
Or buy you a beer with
A Draino chaser
Or dump you in the
River with a rock
A big-ass rock
Here's a nice one right over here
Can I give you a hand with that? It looks heavy.
No, Dave
It's ain't heavy...he's my friend
Come on, group hug.
From the Full Monty Musical btw ;)
Edit - this is meant to be funny. If you are easily offended, suffice it to say - I care TONS about my friends but have a sick sense of humor. Don't look under the cut.
Let's find a rock
I mean a big-ass rock
Or maybe something like
A cinder block is better
I'll hoist it up
And drop it on your face, my buddy
And just before the lights go out
You'll see my smile and you'll know
You've got a friend
With a rock
Who cares
I mean a big-ass rock
Or rope
I got some quality rope
Made for a man who's devoid of hope
Like you are, my buddy
Michael -
Unh, that's Malcolm.
Yeah, Malcolm. Right!
And I won't leave you swinging there
Twitching like a fish while you claw the air
I'll grab your feet
And pal o' mine
I'll pull real hard
And snap your spinal cord
This world is cold when you're alone and
They ignore you
But don't kill yourself
We'll do it for you
You've got a friend
You've got a friend
You've got a friend
You know, I asked a guy once if he'd mind putting me in a barrel
and sending me over the falls. You know what the son of a bitch
said? "Drop dead, asshole."
People are pricks. I asked this guy to take his air compressor and
drill me with a six-inch nail right through the eye...
What'd he say?
"I'm low on nails."
People are selfish pricks.
Another time, now get this, I just lay down in front of a steam roller
and asked the guy just to proceed, you know, business as usual, and just
squash me like a bug.
That's a good way to go, Jer, the ol' bug squash.
Hey! We could tie a plastic laundry bag over his head.
Naw, that's such a wimp suicide.
I stuck my finger in a socket once. It hurt real bad... but it
didn't kill me.
Malcolm, stay out of this.
I've got a friend
Like Carole King
Or was it Carly Simon
Used to sing?
I always get those two confused
But anyway -
I turned around
And suddenly
I'm not alone
It ain't just me
I'm like a player on the team
Player on our team!
I'm part of the gang...
Part of the gang!
A member of the club
Welcome to the club!
Oooh ... let's get a club
I like the big-ass rock
Naw, one good swing and
I'll clean his clock
Forever
Let gravity do the work!
It's a man's way to die, Mikey.
Malcolm!
I got friends
Friends who will
Love you like a maniac
And lead you like a lamb
Ooooh...
To the railroad track
And tie you down
I've got friends!
Ooooh...
Or tickle your wrist
With a single-edge razor
Or buy you a beer with
A Draino chaser
Or dump you in the
River with a rock
A big-ass rock
Here's a nice one right over here
Can I give you a hand with that? It looks heavy.
No, Dave
It's ain't heavy...he's my friend
Come on, group hug.
From the Full Monty Musical btw ;)