Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 179

Jan 30, 2011 15:29

So, Judai has just single handedly saved the entire world from the most pathetic excuse for a weaksauce final boss in the entire history of final bosses, everyone else proceeds to heap piles of undeserved praise upon the twit in affirmation that their only role in existence is to bow down before Gary-Stu and shill him until the world's end. Yeah, it sure is great to have so many utterly worthless, feeble friends who are utterly dependent on you in every way, isn't it? Yeah, just keep on smiling you smug little speck, you're show's just about over.

TITLE SCREEN! GOODBYE JUDAI! A TEARFUL GRADUATION CEREMONY the only tears i'll be crying are tears of rage.

Okay, seriously, how in the hell is it possible that not all the seats are filled at the graduation ceremony? Honestly, why is this always the case, that there are always far more seats then there are people to fill them? It's not like there's a budget limitation on how many bodies they can stuff into the scene. Anyway, Blah blah blah, Chronos is about to announce the results of the Graduation Duel tournament thing, and he breaks down into tears, he can't go through with it, he won't let the students graduate. This of course renders his whole "character development" episode completely pointless. And then he gets dragged away in badly animated fashion for making a scene. Now Samejima does his job for him, we see various one-shot characters in the stands, presumably a product of the writers grossly inept take on "continuity", and it turns out that Asuka, Shou, and Manjoume all tied for first. Sure, of course they did, they all managed to defeat the exact same number of the exact same sort of duelists at the exact same time. That is so totally plausible. Of course, it's all completely pointless as they all turn down the prize of the replica of Yuugi's deck. Yes, even more pointless than the GenEx tournament. The writers, they are epic in that way. Blah blah blah, Judai taught us to believe in the heart of the cards, and now Kenzan is called down to deliver a farewell speech. Oh look, a repeat of the "gag" with Chronos, what a shock. Also, why is he reading from a scroll? I...do not understand. And now he gets dragged away in the same bad animation as before. Lazy. And now it's Asuka's turn to deliver a speech as representative of the graduates. You wouldn't think that Samejima would choose her, what with his open bias towards Judai, but I imagine the writers think this constitutes throwing Asuka a bone. Naturally, they are idiots.

She talks about how time flew by so quickly, it seemed like only when they came into this school full of dreams and hopes for the future, unaware that they were to be only stepping stones for Judai, the laziest, stupidest, most gluttonous twit ever to walk the Earth. No matter what they were like before, once they came into contact with Judai, all aspects of their being and characterization became warped so as not to overshadow a selfish, whiny brat who could never be arsed to apply himself or even stay awake on the rare occasion that he did bother to attend class. And of course, their experience of being killed off in the alternate to give Judai manpain taught them all an important less on in how utterly meaningless their lives, how they will never, ever, EVER be able to accomplish anything, as to do so would take away from Judai's oh so precious screen time. But now that they're all beginning to walk their own paths in life, their is some hope that they may be allowed to have some dignity away from Judai. Far, far away. It's not much of a hope, as we know the writers are malicious in their desire to punish anyone who isn't Judai for daring to be any sort of hero, but we must hold to optimism, instead of the inane faux-cynicism that has infected much of the fandom and lead them to believe that this tripe is any sort of "deconstruction" as opposed to just a shitty show. And now Asuka says goodbye, presumably so that she can go find a proper skirt to wear for once. Okay, that wasn't her actual speech, but it was certainly far more honest. Blah blah blah, everyone gets their diplomas, including Fubuki, one wonders why the hell it took him so damn long to graduate, and also including Judai, because we can't go five minutes on this show without a gross miscarriage of justice. No, I don't give a shit how many times Judai's "saved the world", his refusal to actually attend class and do his homework should have left him stuck in first year throughout the entire series. Hell, he'd certainly be happier being forever young, that's for damn sure.

Now it is nighttime, fireworks, big fancy party, lots of tasty food, blah blah blah, Manjoume wonders where the heck Asuka is, and then we get the most disturbing possible answer to that question, ever. See, she's coming down the steps in a big poofy princess dress, and Fubuki is taking her hand while dressed like a prince. ...Fubuki, I understand that you regard your little sister as the single most bestest, beautiful woman in the entire world. This is not an appropriate way for you to express this. Seriously, fucking shoujou bubbles and everything, like someone on staff accidentally watched an episode of Revolutionary Girl Utena and managed to miss the point entirely, as per usual. Blah blah blah, sexuality quickly becomes irrelevant in the face of how very beautiful Fubukii and Asuka are together, Asuka is embarrassed, Fubuki's just asking for this one night, and then in a later group shot, Shou is looking right at Asuka's boobies. Classy. Samejima declares a toast to Duel Academia itself, the institution that WILL find a way to recklessly endanger the lives of its students or your money back. Blah blah blah, everyone meets up with Chronos, Kenzan, and Rei, Johan and O'Brien are just standing around for some reason, Manjoume questions their presence, and Johan gives a halfassed response about how their graduation dates are different. Whatever, it's not like I give a damn about either of them. Oh, and Seaweed Hair is there too. He's just so sorry for trying to destroy for reasons that don't make any sense, not even in their own terms or to himself, and of course a mockery is made of the sheer effort that the original Yugioh put into making Malik's redemption so moving and powerful. Seriously, how half-assed can this show be? Fuck, not even half, this show is quarter-assed, if that. Oh, and Kagemaru, and the Saiou's are also present. But Kenzan notices who isn't there...JUDAI!

Yup, Judai's just going to bail on everyone, not even going to attend the party or say goodbye or do anything that would acknowledge the alleged friendship he has with these people. Blah blah blah, Daitokuji's pointless plot hole ghost wonders what the heck Judai's going to do now, and he says he's going to help people bond with their duel spirits or some shit like that. This still doesn't explain why the fuck he's avoiding everyone, nor for that matter why I should care. Now cut to Asuka by the lake, she is joined by O'Brien and Johan, one really wonders why in the fuck Judai is avoiding Johan, and more blah blah blah over all the alledged super awesome "character development" that Judai's undergone in an effort to convince us that we've just watched something meaningful, when we all know that this show is just a big fat pile of dross. And then Asuka cries sparkly tears over how Judai took their youth with him or...whatever. And now over to Judai, who's taking off without so much as a by-your-leave, when Winged Kuriboh suddenly appears. Judai follows after the furball, he winds up at the display case for the replica of Yuugi's deck, and then Yuugi comes out, complete with convenient shadow over his face, an admission by the animators that they are far too inept to figure out a way to draw Yuugi looking more mature without him looking exactly like Atem. Also, Yuugi's proportions are screwed up all to hell. Seriously, I don't know half the words necessary to explain exactly what is wrong, I just know it is, that's how bad it is. And this is still before we go into how Yuugi slipping like this makes no sense, at all. Oh, and Yuugi says now it's the time for Judai's "True Graduation Duel", where no puny normal humans will taint the proceedings with the lack of sparkliness.

EYECATCH!

Judai is shocked, and "Yuugi" says he gave Judai Winged Kuriboh all those years ago as "test" to see if Judai was worthy of it...THAT'S IT! I JUST REALIZED WHY THIS SHOW IS COMPLETELY TERRIBLE! IT'S TAKING PLACE ON BIZARRO EARTH! You say goodbye when you mean hello, your boss works for you, and the most triumphant example of a designated hero is praised as the real deal! IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW! Yeah, I wish. Yuugi bullshits about how strong Judai's become, hyper bullshits about how Judai's become a fine adult, and then spouts something about how Judai's "lost something" in the process. Considering how Judai started with nothing and is ending with nothing, I don't see how that's possible. Blah blah blah, Judai must get "it" back, and Yuugi tells him to hold Winged Kuriboh over the replica deck so that his opponent will appear and help him get "it" back, the cards shall guide Judai to the strongest duelist of all...Yuugi is right there. He can just take out his own deck, the one he used to defeat Atem and prove that he was the stronger duelist, and use it to nuke Judai from orbit as that's the only way to be sure. Judai, being reasonable for once, is confused by this, but Yuugi insists that it will make sense. That is a lie. Judai does as told, the cards begin to glow, and Winged Kuriboh's card emits a bright flash of light. Judai's vision clears, and he is now in Domino City, in front of Sugoroku's game shop. The wind blows a piece of paper against his leg, he picks it up, and apparently its something about Yuugi winning Battle City...V2. Also, a terrible, terrible, awful picture of Yuugi and his friends, including Anzu wearing a ludicrously low-cut dress she would never be caught dead in. Tasteful. So yeah...apparently Judai just went back in time...or something. See, years later a book was released explaining how this is all a pocket dimension that Yuugi created for Judai, but that still makes anti-sense, and if you need to read outside sources to explain basic facts about what's going on in the actual story, you have failed as a writer.

Did you hear that Shin Yoshida? YOU ARE A HACK! And now Yuugi leaves the gameshop, complete with Millennium Puzzle and everything, because acknowledging that growing up isn't a horror from beyond the stars is beyond these writers. See, this is the kind of stunt that shows us that for all the writers want to tell us about how growing up is so important and how much Judai has done so, the reality that they've actually shown is far more telling than they could ever realize. Blah blah blah, Yuugi and Judai bump into one another, Judai shows Yuugi Winged Kuriboh and says how Yuugi gave it to him and it guided him here, and of course because this is the anime where the metaphysics don't make any goddamn sense, he does not immediately regard Judai as a crazy person for thinking his cards talk to him. Blah blah blah, Yuugi doesn't remember ever giving Judai Winged Kuriboh, boy it sure looks like Kuriboh, and of course since this is the anime, all aspects of Yuugi's characterization outside of playing the card game as the sum totality of all existence is excised, so he wants to duel this random, crazy stranger, instead of hanging out with his actual friends. Oh, and also, Kuriboh appeared in his dream last night to tell him that a duelist would come to face him. Of course this happened. So yeah, Judai was either sent back in time or sucked into a portal dimension to duel Yuugi, even though Yuugi was all of three feet away from him in the real world. Because that wouldn't have been stupid enough, obviously. Also, the clocks are stopped, and there's no one in the streets, because fuck reality and all the inconveniences it brings. Blah blah blah, they shuffle each others decks, Judai is a rude-ass-prick as he uses his Yubel vision to peek at Yuugi's deck's aura, and Yuugi continues to bullshit about what a sharp gaze Judai has. And then Yubel prattles on inside Judai vacous, empty skull about how Yuugi was able to sense hir presence, and how this Yuugi has the three god cards, the same god cards that the modern Yuugi was able to defeat no matter which continuity you go by, but acknowledging that would be bad.

Seriously, if the modern day Yuugi managed to beat Atem with all his power, wielding all three god cards, then how is this pseudo-past Yuugi who hasn't done this, using the inferior deck, the strongest possible opponent? It isn't, but Shin Yoshida is a well established hack who just does not fucking get it. And now begins the duel that only the tween brats were demanding. The only good thing about all this is that Yuugi doesn't immediately swap out for Atem, begging the question of why we're going back to a pseudo-time when Yuugi still had the puzzle, but whatever. Judai goes first, plays Fusion, and brings out Flame Wingman, setting a card to end his turn. Yuugi continues to a pathetic shadow of himself as he gushes on about how he's never heard of the Elemental Heroes before, it's just so exciting, and oh god, he's been turned into Judai. Oh god, this is painful. From now on, we're going to call this impostor who stole Yuugi's hair "Juugi". So, Juugi takes his turn, summons Holy Elf in defense, and then plays Dimension Magic, sacrificing his spellcaster Holy Elf to destroy Flame Wingman and bring out Black Magician. Judai goes on about how totes excited he is, Flame Wingman goes boom, Yubel yells at Judai, and Juugi declares a direct attack. Oh hey, what do you know, Judai activates Negate Attack. Juugi then sets two cards, and ends his turn. Blah blah blah, they both think about how incredible their opponents are, and yes Judai, I'm so glad that you're around to let us know how strong Juugi really is. Judai summons Bubbleman in defense, draws two cards with its bullshit effect, and now he sets three cards to end his turn. Juugi's turn, he summons Retrained Elf Swordsman, and then plays Thousand Knives to destroy Bubbleman. Of course, the real Yuugi would wait until that card would be necessary, but hey, what do I know, aside from far more than Shin Yoshida, the hack who singlehandidly ruined the entire Yugioh franchise and turned it into an undying zombie that has completely lost touch with its roots in favor of "LOL random incoherent symbolism, normal people suck, fuck friendship, sparkliness is all that matters".

Anyway, Bubbleman goes boom, Juugi declares direct attack with Black Magician, Judai activates A Hero Emerges, and what a shock, out comes Neos. Gosh, if only Juugi had waited for the right time to activate Thousand Knives like the real Yuugi would have. Blah blah blah, Judai commits hubris of the highest caliber by declaring Neos to be his equivalent to the Black Magician, and the episode comes to an end.

NEXT TIME! The duel continues, it is vapid, empty, meaningless, and manages to get in one final insult to Asuka. EPISODE TITLE, THE TRUE GRADUATION DUEL! JUDAI VS. THE LEGENDARY DUELIST card of the week is a montage of all past examples while judai blathers on about the heart of the cards.

God in hell, the most vapid of all ways to end the series, and they manage to find something even worse. And yes, one more episode to go, one more episode for the writers to cram in as much of their contempt for us as possible. And by all the gods and demons and yokai and all else known to man, they will succeed.

season four, yugioh, where i watch

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