lest anybody thinks I'm not bothered by this Panic thing
The part of me that sees them as real people, as autonomous creatures, as awesome people I wish I could hang out with, as odd and endearing little goobers that entertain me with their music--that part of me is sad. But this split is more startling than shocking, and if we were seeing the fault lines, surely it was worse for them, because they were feeling them. They've got a right to do what they need to do, and I'm sure we all support this decision that they believe will lead to better music that feels truer for each of them. I wish them the best and look forward to what they create.
For me, watching the band break up in real life is like watching, say, a couple of familiar acquaintances break up--which is to say it effects me but is ultimately outside me. I'm sadder for them, for lost opportunity, than for myself. But from another dimension, it's watching the thing I've built my creative energies around break up, which is, IDK, like ending a relationship? These guys, as personalities, swept me off my feet in March 2008, in ways no other characters ever have, so I reckon I'm mourning the loss of a one year and four month relationship between the band and my muse. I don't think I've even started processing that yet.
Not that it's that simple to divide the two sides of my brain. Obviously, reality and fiction aren't entirely separable--they get all tangled together in this thing we call fandom--but as writers and fans, we've always dealt with the complicated dual nature of our interest and investment. And we'll keep on dealing with it. I just don't know how yet.