(no subject)
i had such a great time in newfoundland.
it was really bizarre to see how much everyone has changed, yet my love for everyone has only grown exponentially.
it seems that everyone has turned into more of an individual rather than identifying as a group, like we used to. thats fine and normal and wonderful too.
the hugs and laughs and beers and kisses and hand holding and popsicles and shaggy and drives and 2ams and being a therapist to a lot of people made me feel so loved and warm.
oh i love you all so much.
i love st john's so much. it is not my home, halifax is, but st john's is like my home away from home.
you're all such beautiful and wonderful friends to me, individually and as a group.
i came home to a loving boyfriend who kissed me hard on the mouth and said that even though it was only four days he missed me and my smile.
i have it so good. i have so much love from my friends, an amazing boyfriend, and amazing parents. just writing this is making me emotional. sometimes we have to wade through the shittiest of times just to see the things we do have. the shittiest of times was almost all of 2009 for me, and i am thankful for it.
i still go through phases where i am convinced todd is losing interest in me. certainly not for anything he does, but because of the piece of me that was lost in my last relationship. trying to patch and rebuild is difficult. it is purely my emotional issue. todd is aware of what happened to me and he is very kind and often tells me how wonderful i am. he is sensitive to the fact that i sometimes get down on myself. i try my hardest to pick mytself up but having him there incase i fail at it has been an enormous weight off my shoulders. so this is what a healthy relationship is like, huh?
anyways, i love you all. i am writing letters tonight.
it was really bizarre to see how much everyone has changed, yet my love for everyone has only grown exponentially.
it seems that everyone has turned into more of an individual rather than identifying as a group, like we used to. thats fine and normal and wonderful too.
the hugs and laughs and beers and kisses and hand holding and popsicles and shaggy and drives and 2ams and being a therapist to a lot of people made me feel so loved and warm.
oh i love you all so much.
i love st john's so much. it is not my home, halifax is, but st john's is like my home away from home.
you're all such beautiful and wonderful friends to me, individually and as a group.
i came home to a loving boyfriend who kissed me hard on the mouth and said that even though it was only four days he missed me and my smile.
i have it so good. i have so much love from my friends, an amazing boyfriend, and amazing parents. just writing this is making me emotional. sometimes we have to wade through the shittiest of times just to see the things we do have. the shittiest of times was almost all of 2009 for me, and i am thankful for it.
i still go through phases where i am convinced todd is losing interest in me. certainly not for anything he does, but because of the piece of me that was lost in my last relationship. trying to patch and rebuild is difficult. it is purely my emotional issue. todd is aware of what happened to me and he is very kind and often tells me how wonderful i am. he is sensitive to the fact that i sometimes get down on myself. i try my hardest to pick mytself up but having him there incase i fail at it has been an enormous weight off my shoulders. so this is what a healthy relationship is like, huh?
anyways, i love you all. i am writing letters tonight.