Trauma

[cynni]

So yeah, went into the hospital on friday night with the stomach aches from hell. According to my social worker who I see since recently, I have a childhood trauma regarding hospitals, doctors, needles and dentists. So going to the hospital may be one of my worst nightmares, next to cancer that is

Comments

[damanique]

Yeah, so now you know how those stomach aches feel that I've been having since October/November, also because I took too much Ibuprofen. Often enough I felt like screaming and crying in bed 'cause it hurt so much, but I didn't want to wake everyone up so I disciplined myself. :\ But it hurts like HELL, and it just keeps hurting for hours and there's nothing you can do. I really did think I was gonna die, it hurt that much. x___x;; It would keep me up all night and I couldn't go to school the next day.

And if that wasn't bad enough, I was also taking medication that was making me hallucinate and have psychotic episodes. :\

I used to be afraid of doctors and hospitals as a kid, but after my seizure and the ambulance and stuff I'm not anymore. I'm not sure why. Now when I go to the hospital I'm fascinated.

But fear and phobias aren't rational. Sometimes you can get over them by confrontation, but that doesn't always work. (I know confrontation with spiders doesn't cure me of my arachnophobia. T_T;;)

So what I mean is, I know how you feel - both with the stomach pain, and being afraid so much. I'm not afraid of hospitals/doctors anymore but when I was still on a higher dose of Keppra I was really paranoid and had panic attacks all the time as well as manic-depressive and psychotic episodes. It was really hard to talk to anyone about it because they all seemed to think I was crazy, people avoided me and I started to avoid them and I felt really alone.

I don't think you're dramatic or childish. You're human. Fears aren't rational at all, and when you're stressed out, in pain and aren't sleeping well they get worse. It might not seem realistic to others, but it's real to *you*. If you ever need someone to talk about it, I'm there for you.

[cynni]

Thank you so much!

Yeah I knew instantly I was having the same pains as you. I dont understand how you were able to keep up with it for so long! I now have the exact same medication as you have. The stomach aches are lessened somewhat (it still takes a few days to kick in fully) but I do suffer from the side effects like feeling dizzy and nauseas. The information stated that those also should go away within a short time.

Somehow when I knew I had the same thing as you, I felt reassured a bit. Because if you are much better now, and hopefully so will I in a few days :)

[damanique]

I dont understand how you were able to keep up with it for so long!

I have a high pain tolerance, maybe? :s I don't know.

But the pills are definitely working so I hope the both of us will be fine soon :D