screw the zoo... i am staying home!
lions, tigers, and bears... oh my!
so i may not have that many creatures in my backyard, but if you give me five bucks i can give you a pretty good show.
first up... baby bunnies!!! they were so cute! happy fluffy little bunnies jumping around so cutie-like. baby bunnies = $0.75/per bunny
and to follow the bunnies... KITTIES! two baby kittens that had been left by their mommy and were looking for someone to love them... awwwwwww don't it just make your freaking heart bleed! kitties = $1.50/per pair
(okay so if you are a "typical guy" member of the audience - excluding gays, metro-sexuals, amish, and self proclaimed opah-olics - you might be thinking this is a boringly girlie show! wait it gets better...)
next an act -- of sheer rage! i present to you the rabid raccoon!. okay... maybe not rabid, but it did rip the shingles off the roof and bit out chunks of wood! seriously! my brother and dad spent all last weekend working on repairs. glimpse at roof wreckage = $0.50; witness to the raccoon's wrath = $0.50
last but not least! a gi-norm-ous skunk! my mom and i were discussing trashy gossip on the deck, and nature sent us a little reminder that if you don't have nothing nice to say... stinky skunk = $1.00
all together... i think that is a five dollar show! i am going to start charging the little kiddies around here to see the wonders of my backyard. too bad the only remaining critter is the skunk. don't worry... we are planning on getting rid of it. my dad has been looking up ways to scare away skunks, and he has found a pheromone sold online called essence of coyote urine. hearing your dad say "essence of coyote urine" = priceless.
so i may not have that many creatures in my backyard, but if you give me five bucks i can give you a pretty good show.
first up... baby bunnies!!! they were so cute! happy fluffy little bunnies jumping around so cutie-like. baby bunnies = $0.75/per bunny
and to follow the bunnies... KITTIES! two baby kittens that had been left by their mommy and were looking for someone to love them... awwwwwww don't it just make your freaking heart bleed! kitties = $1.50/per pair
(okay so if you are a "typical guy" member of the audience - excluding gays, metro-sexuals, amish, and self proclaimed opah-olics - you might be thinking this is a boringly girlie show! wait it gets better...)
next an act -- of sheer rage! i present to you the rabid raccoon!. okay... maybe not rabid, but it did rip the shingles off the roof and bit out chunks of wood! seriously! my brother and dad spent all last weekend working on repairs. glimpse at roof wreckage = $0.50; witness to the raccoon's wrath = $0.50
last but not least! a gi-norm-ous skunk! my mom and i were discussing trashy gossip on the deck, and nature sent us a little reminder that if you don't have nothing nice to say... stinky skunk = $1.00
all together... i think that is a five dollar show! i am going to start charging the little kiddies around here to see the wonders of my backyard. too bad the only remaining critter is the skunk. don't worry... we are planning on getting rid of it. my dad has been looking up ways to scare away skunks, and he has found a pheromone sold online called essence of coyote urine. hearing your dad say "essence of coyote urine" = priceless.