Thank you.
Thank you Kelly for you listening to my..."superficial"...ranting. After contemplating a plethora of things...I have no real friends. I realize that I am sounding redundant, but fuck off if it annoys you. I realize that I am a very private person, and I put on a mask at school to shield what I actually think. As a result, I do not have many
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Ultimately, we all decide the quality of our own lives. Though we can't always control the circumstances, our outlook is something that is wholly our own, something that can never be taken away.
I'm not saying that it will be easy, especially when things seem awfully bleak or meaningless. But in the end, it's up to you. If you want to be happy, just be happy. Take everything for what it is. You can't change a lot of the things that give you pressure or make you sad, but you're the one who decides how much you let them get to you.
Don't brood. Focus on the things you *can* change, and try not to let the things you can't change bother you as much. And if every now and then you want to be alone for awhile, pop on a "The Cure" CD, and have a little catharsis, go right ahead. No one said you aren't allowed to just be depressed every once in awhile.
But contemplating suicide is something else altogether. Make sure you understand that. And whatever you do, don't be so selfish that you forget how many people *would* miss you, and you damn well know it.
Suicides are not heroes. Nor are they victims. They're tragic, yes, but not because the world dealt them a shitty hand and there was nothing they could do about it. They're tragic because they were too self-absorbed to realize how many other people they would hurt, just to get back at a world that they think has slighted them.
You are an upstanding gentleman whom I hold in high-esteem, Brandon. And I know you are capable of much more than you realize. Which is why I now put it to you- decide. And live.
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