Fanfiction || The Intervention Job || OT3 || Part Four

[cuzimastripper]

Title: The Intervention Job
Author: Sapphire Smoke cuzimastripper
Fandom: Leverage
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Hardison/Parker/Eliot
Length Thus Far: 37,920 words
Summery: Sophie's been in the habit of holding interventions ever since the one with Nate, and this time Hardison is her next victim.
A/N: Yes, it turned into a OT3. My bad. And with OT3 comes naughtiness, because I'll take any excuse to get Parker naked.
Other Parts: PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The Second Intervention

Okay, Eliot had to admit that as far as making good decisions go, he hasn’t exactly won a damn prize or anything this past week.

But shit like this doesn’t involve tactical planning and precision. He can fight someone, anyone, and be able to judge their next move by how they followed through with their last. He can judge weaknesses, easy damage areas, hell… he knows that stuff. It’s what he does, what he’s always done. What he’s good at. But this? He ain’t no good at this.

Eliot is great with seduction, sure. He’s had more lovers in his life than he can be bothered to sit down and count out. But as far as having a connection with any of them? Not really. There was Aimee, and obviously he screwed that up all the hell and back again, so it’s not like he has much faith in himself where that department is concerned. So he does the one thing he knows he’s good at: he runs away. He ran away from Aimee, and now he’s running away from both Hardison and Parker.

Problem was, with Hardison and Parker… he couldn’t actually physically run. He was part of something here, something that means more to him than he will ever admit. So even if he’s trying to make the problem go away, it’s still fuckin’ staring him in the face every day.

Also, his grand master plan of getting Parker and Hardison together so he wouldn’t have to deal with this shit anymore? Yeah, that one obviously wasn’t fuckin’ thought out too well.

It’s been two whole days since Eliot sent Parker off to him, and it’s been two whole days that those two have been just fucking… nauseatingly all over each other. Really, the PDA was getting out of hand.

“Will you two quit it? I can hear the smacking sounds of your lips over my damn com,” Eliot growls, and rubs his ear. He was coming back from gathering intel for another case, and he couldn’t concentrate on driving while they were being all… nasty like that. If it wasn’t for Nate’s new rule of keeping the coms in until you’re back at base (only to avoid all the little mishaps that could make everything go terribly wrong if they ended up being followed) he would have taken the damn thing out.

“Jealous?” came Hardison’s voice in his ear. Yeah, they still haven’t made up yet. The boy was being really aggravating. You’d think he’d have some appreciation for him after he convinced Parker to go over there.

“You wish.”

Actually he was. Intensely so. Of hell, both of them. Hence why this little plan of his was obviously just a really fucking stupid idea. At the same time though, he knew they belonged together. His happy ending just ain’t… it ain’t either of them. Hell knows if he even has a happy ending.

“I like kissing him. Sorry,” Eliot hears Parker say, then softly in the distance, like she’s trying to cover her com tell Hardison, “No. Stop being mean to him. You know he…”

But that’s all Eliot got, because then Nate’s voice chimed in. “Hardison, as happy as we all are about… whatever this is, stop fooling around and keep your eyes on the cameras Parker placed yesterday.”

“Hey, I had one eye on them the whole time. I can multitask! I’ll have you know that in high school I was known for being able to program while-”

“What? Not getting laid?” Eliot jabs. He couldn’t help it, it was too easy, and he was still angry.

“Eliot!” Sophie tries to intervene, but Eliot ignores her. He’s still mad at her too.

“Hardison, just pay attention to your work,” Nate says with a tone of finality. Man, it’s like he thinks he’s like their damn father sometimes.

When Eliot got back to the apartment, Sophie and Nate still weren’t back yet. Sophie rode with Nate, and they heard her over the com convince Nate, or really kind of just demand, that they stop at this department store they passed because she apparently needed some new shoes to perfect her new character. Whatever. Women.

Hardison was on the couch staring at the monitors like they were going to make him go cross-eyed. There was nothing interesting happening on them at all, and apparently hasn’t been for awhile. He had his arm around Parker, who was snuggled up to his chest while absentmindedly picking locks. Eliot rolls his eyes and flops down on a chair, picks up a magazine, and just kind of stares at it. He didn’t wanna be here, but he knew he’d have to be for a least a little while until Nate and Sophie make it back safe. Might as well look busy, and it also keeps his eyes from wandering to look at the other two across from him.

He could feel both of their eyes on him once he sat down though. But he didn’t say anything. Hell, what was he supposed to say?

Sure, he was happy for them. Those two had been making moon eyes at each other for over a year now. But it just… it made him feel left out. It’s one thing to lose out on one person, but two? It just… fuckin’ sucks.

“Parker told me what you did.”

Eliot’s eyes leave the magazine to look up at Hardison, and he’s posed and ready for a fight as he briefly thinks she stupidly told him about the sex before he finishes with, “…Thanks.”

Eliot shrugs, and turns back to his magazine, he doesn’t want to look at him, or at her. “You liked her.” Explanation enough.

“Yeah but… I know you…” there’s a pause, and Hardison puts his finger up to his com to put it on mute. He motions for Parker and Eliot to do the same, and they do. They don’t need Nate or Sophie hearing this. All they need to hear is them, not the other way around, after all. “You liked me,” he finishes once the coms are muted.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Eliot tells him flatly.

“You know, that one might have worked if you didn’t already tell me that you did,” Hardison tells him, eyes narrowed. Shit. Yeah, Eliot forgot about that.

“Whatever.”

“He liked me too,” Parker interjects, and now Eliot wants to throw the damn magazine at her. Her need to be included in this conversation might have just caused a big problem. Eliot doesn’t look up, but he knows Hardison’s looking at her, and then can feel him look at him.

But then he chuckles a little.

“Flattering yourself seems to be catching,” Eliot says flatly again, just trying to avoid a mess. Sound like he doesn’t care.

This apparently, and the fact that Hardison kind of laughed at the idea, unfortunately ended up offending Parker. “What? Do you think no one else can like me but you?” she asks Hardison. Ha! Eliot’s now amused by this, since he’s the one not in trouble, and the fact that there is now trouble in paradise. He looks up from the magazine for this.

“That’s not what I meant-”

“Because Eliot does like me, a lot. Okay? He said so. Told me that if it wasn’t for you that he would have sex with me every day until one of us got sick of it,” Parker tells him, just trying to state her case. Eliot can see how she can think what she said couldn’t be taken badly, because hell, she did say if it wasn’t for him, and that the idea was only entertained, not carried out. But that didn’t go over as smoothly as he would have liked it too.

Hardison blinks at Parker, and then slowly turns to Eliot. “Did you say that? Did you wanna have sex with Parker? Seriously?” He’s looking at Eliot like he doesn’t know who’s in front of him anymore.

Eliot decides that acting casual and feigning nonchalance about the whole thing might make it go away faster. He shrugs and looks back at his magazine before saying evenly, an explanation: “She’s a woman.”

“Sophie was right.”

Whoa, hold on. That got his attention. “Right about what, exactly?” Eliot asks, anger now seeping into his voice.

“Nothing, forget it.”

“No, I’m not gonna just forget it Hardison, right about what?” Eliot repeats. Damn him, damn him to fuckin’ hell and back again and damn Sophie for starting all the shit. If he says one thing about…

“Sophie thinks you have too much sex,” Parker tells him.

“And this is something she decided to discuss with everyone?” Eliot asks furiously. It’s one damnthing when Sophie has to feel the need to force her own opinion down his throat, another when she discusses his personal business to everyone else!

“Well, she always discusses everything with us before we-”

“PARKER,” Hardison interrupts to stop her. But it’s too late, Eliot knows what’s coming. And hell NO is he going to be Sophie’s next fuckin’ victim. He’s up and out of his chair before either of them can say anything, but he swears God just enjoys playing cruelly times jokes on him, because right when he opened the door, he came face to face with Nate, who had his key out already, and Sophie who was behind him holding more bags than what would be needed for ‘one pair of shoes’.

“YOU,” Eliot says dangerously, and points at her. “You just have to stick you’re damn nose where it don’t belong. Will you get your fuckin’ head out of your own ass for a second and maybe take a moment to contemplate why the hell you feel the need to fix everyone’s problems? It’s cause you’re as fucked off as the rest of us, darlin’! Can’t fix yourself so might as well fix everyone else, huh? Whatever. Get the hell outta my way, cause I ain’t dealing with this shit.”

“We’re not doing an intervention right now,” Nate tells him, his voice grave. “We have a problem.”

A pause. Shit. Well damn, he’ll deal with Sophie later, “What happened?”

“Can you guys get inside so I can put these bags down please?” Sophie asks annoyed, and Eliot and Nate move inside so she can come in. Once she puts the bags around, she turns around, closes the door, and locks it from the inside with a key. She then puts said key in her pocket.

“The problem was getting you to stay,” Nate admits, and Eliot swears he must have steam coming out of his ears by now. That… that was fucked up. Seriously and completely fucked up.

“I ain’t listening to this shit,” Eliot tells them all, who have now gathered on one side of the room, pulling out their stupid little cue cards. Fuck this. Fuck those. Fuck no. Fuck everything.

“Eliot, please sit down,” Sophie starts.

“I’m fine standin’, thanks,” Eliot says, and crosses his arms over his chest. His eyes are narrow, his jaw is set, and he’s just fucking furious. He’d go out the damn window but he’s pretty sure they already made precautions against other exits. He was trapped, unless he wanted to break the damn door down (which he was seriously considering).

Sophie doesn’t argue with him, knowing that it’s pointless. “Alright, well let’s just… get through this then, yeah?” She smiles at him, but Eliot just narrows his eyes more. “Look,” she says, getting serious. “We’re concerned about you. You seem to have let sex take over your better judgment.”

“You know nothing about my sex life,” Eliot tells her flatly. Because she fucking doesn’t.

“Yes, I do,” Sophie tells him in a way that reminds him vividly about their conversation about Parker. Eliot doesn’t say anything; only because he’s afraid Sophie will let it slip to prove her point. “And we all know how many women you’ve had since we’ve all been together.”

“No, you don’t.”

“So there’s been more?” Sophie asks him, eyebrows raised. “Because last time we counted there was twenty two.”

How is twenty two an unreasonable number in a year and a half? Granted there were more, but it’s not like he had a different girl for every day of the year, or hell, even every week of the year.

“Your point?” Eliot says dryly.

“The point is that you’re obviously searching for something, and looking for it in all the wrong places. You need to learn to form connections with people, emotional connections. Sex isn’t the only thing people have to offer, Eliot. Nor is it the only thing you have to offer to someone.”

God, she fuckin’ sounds like his mother. You know, if his mother were still alive.

He just blinks at her, and says nothing. He’s not satisfying her with an answer to any of that. Once she realizes he’s not going to say anything, she turns to Nate and nods at him. Nate doesn’t look happy about having to participate in this intervention either. He looks down at his little note card, and Eliot cocks an eyebrow, waiting.

“Eliot, it’s really awarding to get to know a woman as a person, and not just as a body. It wouldn’t hurt to try it out,” Nate reads awkwardly.

“Did Sophie write that for you?”

“No,” Nate says, and looks at him. He’s actually being serious. “I mean it. I was married at one point, you know.”

Whatever. He does get to know women as people. He knows Parker and Sophie, doesn’t he? He knows a little bit more of Parker than he probably should, but regardless.

“Parker,” Sophie nods at her.

Eliot had decided he’s not going to say anything throughout the rest of this. He’s just not going to give them the satisfaction of it. Plus, the less time they argue, the faster he gets the fuck out of there. He knows the game; he’s seen it done three times.

Parker picks up her note card. “I liked that you liked sex,” Parker starts, and Eliot hopes to hell and back that she ain’t gonna say anything about… anything. Even Sophie’s looking at her like she’s doing it all wrong, which as far as interventions go, she kind of is. “But apparently it’s bad,” she finishes.

Eliot smirks, but that’s only because Sophie looks annoyed.

“Parker, that’s not-”

“Well I don’t agree with you,” Parker tells her honestly, and that makes Eliot smirk more. See, he knew he liked the girl for a reason.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Sophie tells her, eyes narrowed. Eliot is still amused by it though. For once, everyone didn’t just follow Sophie blindly. She waves her hand at Hardison.

Hardison doesn’t even look at his note card, he just addresses Eliot. “You do have more to offer someone than just sex, man. Sophie’s right about that. You might be Mr. Oh-I’m-Hot-And-Everyone-Should-Want-Me-Because-I-Got-Epic-Man-Hair-And-Lots-Of-Muscles, but you’re also really protective, and whether you wanna admit it or not, you care about us. And if you can care about us, what’s to stop you from caring about someone else?”

Eliot just stares at him; he didn’t think he would have that much to say. Neither did Sophie either, since she’s staring at him with this stupid little smile on her face. “That was really nice, Hardison,” she tells him.

But Hardison isn’t looking at her, he’s looking at him, and is obviously trying to portray more than what he just said. Eliot nods a little, saying he gets it. Or at least, he thinks he gets it. From what he gathered, Hardison meant that he was able to care about him on a… different level, so he’s able to care about someone else that way. Which he already knew, of course he already knew. But at the same time, he fucked that one up too, so it’s not that he doesn’t know that he can’t get there. He can get there. He just can never stay there.

“To help you, I think it’ll be good if you went two weeks without sex.”

Eliot turns to Sophie, and finally speaks. “And how exactly do you plan on making sure that happens?” he asks, with a bit of a scoff. Please, put cameras in his damn bedroom for all he cares. There are other places to have sex. Not that he couldn’t go two weeks without sex, he could. He’s not an addict or anything. But he kind of just wants to do it just to… spite Sophie.

He knows she’s trying to help, he gets that. But frankly? He’s still pissed at her.

“Parker and Hardison offered to chaperone you,” Sophie tells him, with a little smile.

Okay, hold the fuckin’ phone. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, we get to stay in your house for two weeks,” Parker says, like she’s excited by the thought. “It’s like a really long sleepover! It’ll be fun! We can make smores and watch more Roseanne!”

“You want Roseanne?” Nate asks him, now smirking.

“Okay, no,” Eliot says. This is a bad idea all around. He is not going to be babysat by the two people he’s trying to avoid being around. “I ain’t gonna have any privacy. Fuck no.”

“Eliot, it’s just for two weeks. And you can sleep alone, bathe alone… it’s not like they’re going to be with you ever second of every day. But when you go out, they’re gonna be with you. And they have to be with you at your house, you could bring someone home with you,” Sophie explains, but Eliot isn’t listening.

“Why do I need both of them?”

“Two sets of eyes are better than one, plus they both volunteered,” Sophie tells him, and Eliot looks over at Hardison and Parker, his eyes narrowed.

“No.”

“Dude, you remember what you told me when Sophie did this to me?” Hardison asks him.

Yes. He does. To just go along with it, get it over with, cause Sophie just doesn’t take no as an answer. But this is different.

“Come on Eliot, it’ll be fun,” Parker tells him, and smiles. She bouncing a little on the balls of her feet and Eliot wants to shoot himself in the head.

Whatever. Fuck.

“Neither of you are allowed in my room. And my bathroom? I get it first in the morning. Neither of you are allowed to attempt to ‘cook’ either, or whatever it is that you think what you make is. Also, take-out is not, under any circumstances, entering my house.”

There. Fucking ground rules.

“Fine,” both of them say at the same time, and Sophie looks positively happy that she got her way.

Fuck this. This is gonna be hell. But he knows if he doesn’t just do it, then Sophie’s gonna have all of them follow him, and there is definitely a way into his house that only Parker knows about, so he can’t exactly take precautions about that either.

Repeat: hell. Hell in a fuckin’ fruit basket.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The Proposition

“So what do you wanna watch first? I brought more Roseanne, and I also have The Nanny,” Parker says as she holds up two DVD box sets, bouncing them up and down as if to indicate a choice is needed. What was really needed was a damn drink.

“The Nanny!” Hardison says excitedly, and it makes Eliot look at him with an eyebrow cocked. God, these people…

“Eliot?”

“I don’t care,” Eliot says while walking past them and into the kitchen. Their first night together called for one Mr. Jack Daniels. Though only because he wouldn’t be able to get through tonight unless he was somewhat drunk to begin with.

Hardison and Parker apparently already had their bags packed, because they followed him home right from Nate’s. The two argued over who was going to get the guest room and who would get the couch, even though Eliot has no idea why. They were all with the making out now; couldn’t they just share the damn bed? They’ve wanted each other forever, Eliot’s sure they must have already had sex.

Though, apparently he’s the one with a sex problem, so maybe normal people just don’t do that. But then again, Parker and Hardison weren’t normal either. Or maybe they were just putting on some kind of act for him.

“Way to share,” Hardison tells him sarcastically was Eliot comes in with one glass of Jack on the rocks. Eliot points to the kitchen, dictating the path to the liquor since it clearly wasn’t obvious. They might be in his house right now, but they were forced on him, which means that they are not guests. And only guests get the privilege of not getting off their ass for anything.

Not that he’d really wanna deal with the two of them drunk either, but he can’t be a complete asshole and tell them no.

He sits down on the couch as Parker pops in the DVD. Hardison comes back in with the bottle and a couple glasses and-

“No, Hardison. You are not going to destroy good whiskey with coke. Not in my house.”

“I can’t drink it straight, remember last time?” Hardison tells him, and when Eliot goes for the coke, he swipes it away from him.

Yeah, Eliot does remember the last time. Fuckin’ vividly, thanks.

“That’s when you guys had your first kiss. Aww,” Parker says, and both Hardison and Eliot turn to glare at her. She blinks as she takes a glass that Hardison poured from her and she takes a sip before saying, “What? Isn’t that a cute moment? TV always says so.”

Parker always has this special way of making everything awkward, doesn’t she?

Hardison’s eyes flickered over to Eliot, and Eliot coughed awkwardly and turned to the TV. “This woman’s voice annoys me. Does she seriously talk like that?”

Hardison welcomed the change of subject gratefully. “To quote her famously:” and then he did the most horrid thing that’s ever come out of his mouth, “Who would make this up?” He said it almost exactly like her, and Eliot blinks at him.

“You have issues.”

“I’m gifted, man.”

“Do it again!” Parker said with glee, and Hardison kept talking like that until Eliot took the closest pillow and smacked him in the head with it.

“Hey!”

“It’s what you get,” Eliot tells him flatly, and pours himself another drink.

If he was to be honest, this time together with both of them wasn’t as horrible as he thought it would be. It’s probably due to how close to normal things were again. After Parker’s badly timed kiss comment, everything about that subject was dropped. Hell, anything about anything was dropped, and they just watched TV, drank, and bullshitted for a couple hours. Parker and Hardison weren’t obnoxiously all over each other either, which made it easier for the jealousy to not rear it’s ugly head.

But after a couple hours of drinking, Fran’s voice was starting to itch at his nerves, and he excused himself to go out into the backyard. He needed fresh air, and hell… needed to work off some aggression. So he wrapped his hands and started hitting the punching bag. He wasn’t pissed, wasn’t anything, really. Just had shit he needed to get out, and working out is the best way he’s learned to do it.

He was out there maybe twenty minutes by himself, working up a sweat when he heard the backdoor open. He didn’t look, kept concentrating on what he was doing. But he knew who it was before they even said anything.

“You alright?”

“Fine,” Eliot responds, concentrating on hitting the same spot. One, two, three, breath, one, two, three…

Hardison’s eyes are on him, and it’s making his skin prickle. “Hey, I know this ain’t your first choice of, you know, whatever… just cause of what went on, but would you really rather Nate and Sophie be here?”

Hell no.

But Eliot doesn’t answer, he just wipes the hair that’s sticking to his forehead away and continues doing what he does best: hit things. Though it’s slightly more difficult when you’re a bit intoxicated.

Eliot sees Hardison takes a step off of the porch and stumble a bit out of the corner of his eye, grabbing onto the railing to steady himself. Eliot says very obviously, but he couldn’t help but smirk as he continued hitting the punching bag, “Don’t fall or anything.”

“It’s your steps man, they’re too…”

“Too what?”

“Narrow,” Hardison finishes lamely. “I’m not that drunk,” he defends, even though no one asked. Yeah, right. Eliot just continues smirking at him, and Hardison apparently gets to the point he was aiming for. Unlike the stairs.

“You know if it wasn’t for Parker I’d… well, you know. With you, I guess.”

“No use talkin’ about it,” Eliot tells him through heavy breaths. He’s still keeping his eyes trained to the spot, only because he knows if he looks at Hardison he’ll stop. Drunk Hardison appealed to him in that… very wrong way. Very wrong. Right.

“But you’d apparently like to do that with Parker instead.”

That makes Eliot stop, and he grabs onto the punching bag to keep it from swinging as he turns to him, out of breath. “Don’t screw up what you got goin’ on, Hardison. You have her, just be happy you do. Shit just happens.”

And he wasn’t exactly sure about ‘instead’. Maybe ‘as well’ would have been more accurate.

“You suddenly wanting to sleep with her doesn’t just happen.” Hardison tells him, but he must be awfully drunk because he doesn’t even seem angry about it. He sighs and comes over to him, managing to not stumble this time, but Eliot keeps his distance by having him on the other side of the punching bag. “You never said anything like that to me.”

Wow, that was such a woman thing for him to say. He takes back liking drunk Hardison. “Why do you care?”

“Because I’m not stupid, Eliot. I know how you work. You can’t even begin to contemplate liking someone unless you’ve already had a part of them.”

Eliot just stares at him, not knowing what to say. It’s true, but now he’s wondering how much of Parker he knows that he had.

“I don’t know what you two did, and frankly I don’t want to know,” Hardison tells him. “So whatever you did, kiss her… or fucking whatever else… just don’t ever tell me. Unlike most people, I enjoy living blind to some things, alright?” Hardison requests, and Eliot looks at him for a long time before nodding slowly. He was not expecting that at all. It must be the liquor… liquor does funny things…

“But what I want to know is why you told her that… and not me.”

Seriously?

This conversation was… it was nothing like any conversation he’s ever had with Hardison before. Most of it’s sarcasm, some yelling, hell even some awkwardness. But this was… sure, slightly awkward, yes. Hardison’s being a great big girl. But outside of that… he doesn’t know but maybe… maybe he kinda likes Hardison being a bit or a girl over it. Being a bit jealous. But at the same time this conversation sounded so much… shit, like finality.

He fuckin’ hated that.

“I wanted to blow you, I think that should already answer your question,” Eliot says, evenly, but softly.

But as much as he thought he could do this, be a fuckin’ man and have this conversation he just… can’t. It makes him… fell and junk. He turns to walk away but Hardison puts a hand on his arm and stills him, before pulling him a bit to turn around.

Okay, way too close for comfort.

“I wanna hear it.”

“Why? You have Parker now,” Eliot tells him. He just doesn’t get this. Why does he need this? Is he trying to fuckin’ torture him?

“Because it’s important, Eliot.”

“I thought this whole thing was so that I could learn sex isn’t important,” Eliot mocks slightly. He tried to move away again, but Hardison wouldn’t let him go. All this touching really wasn’t helping in the way of… anything.

“No, its so that you learn that sex isn’t the most important thing.” Hardison sighs again, but lets his grip go that he had on Eliot’s arm. Eliot would have been thankful for that, but instead he chooses to let it slide his fingertips almost painfully slow down his damp skin. “Tell me, seriously.”

Eliot looks him in the eyes, and tells him honestly, but very evenly so that no emotion would come out in his voice and he’d start soundin’ like a damn girl, “Yeah, Hardison. I woulda fuckin’ loved to bang you, okay? Would you like details or can you paint the picture yourself?”

But Hardison doesn’t say anything. A hint of a smile forms on his lips, and Eliot just… hates all of this. Why the hell is he doing this to him? Doesn’t he have better things to do than throw what he can’t have in his face like some kind of-

But Eliot’s thoughts are stopped suddenly as Hardison’s lips touch his. He closes his eyes as he forgets everything for a moment, the heat and the feelings just running through his veins so much like fire for him to remember what he should and shouldn’t do. Hardison’s hand is on his cheek, kissing him so much deeper… and maybe it was a little too late, but Eliot did remember that this was wrong.

He turns his face away and breaks the kiss, stepping back from him. “What are you doing, man? You’re gonna fuck everything up with Parker.”

“No I ain’t,” Hardison tells him, and he’s still looking at him like he wants to kiss him again. Does this boy have a brain? Seriously.

Eliot’s about to say something, when he hears Parker behind him. “I told him he could.”

Eliot whips around to face her. How the fuck long has she been standing there?! And why the hell does she just have to come in and try to… god, what is she doing? “What the hell kind of drugs are you two on?”

Parker blinks. “I don’t do drugs.”

“Parker told me that she knows I need you to help me work through this… the whole gay thing, you know? She’s a girl and can’t exactly help with that…” Hardison’s rambling now, this can’t be good. “And she also said that you need me too. And it’s weird okay? We all get that’s its weird and its not normal and whatever but this shit’s important right? Working through it? And she said that she doesn’t mind…” an awkward pause, and Eliot’s waiting for him to spit it out. “Unless she gets to watch.”

Okay, this is nine shades of fucked up. He should have never gotten them intoxicated. That’s the last time he shares his liquor.

“First of all, aren’t we all fucking in the position because I need to stop having so much sex? And now you want to fuck me and let Parker watch?!”

“No, that’s not-“

“I mean do you guys even stop and think about how the hell I’m gonna feel about all this? Or do you just assume that because I apparently fuck anything that walks on two legs that I’ll just go along with it?” Okay yeah, now he was a little pissed. He rounds on Parker. “And didn’t you corner me in my kitchen not too long and ago and tell me to not fuck him?”

“I see the way you look at him, I’m not stupid,” Parker tells him. “You didn’t even look at me that way when we-”

“Don’t finish that,” both Eliot and Hardison say at the same time, then look at each other. Alright, the echo was a bit weird. Or maybe he just was really drunk.

“You want him, I’m sharing.”

“For the last time, Parker. People are not something to be given, traded, bought, shared, or whatever else,” Eliot says, just annoyed with this entire situation.

How can they think this is a good idea? Maybe if yeah, he wanted to just fuck Hardison, then whatever. But this? This was… shit, this was something the he just couldn’t fuck with. Because then what? Hardison’s all content being a bit gay, and so is he and then… and then it’s just over. He rides off with Parker in the fuckin’ sunset and Eliot’s left alone. Again.

And what about Parker? He fuckin’ likes her too. They start having this weird kinky threesome (which under different circumstances he wouldn’t be opposed to) and what’s he supposed to do? Just sit there and try not to watch while she gets herself off to what they’re doing? Hell no!

This is so gonna screw up their working relationship.

“Well I don’t know what you want to call it then, but for all intends and purposes I’m sharing her too,” Hardison tells him.

Okay, this has got to be some sort of dream. Or nightmare.

“Excuse me?”

“Well it ain’t like I’m jumping for joy about the idea, but Parker pointed out that it’s only fair,” Hardison tells him, looking at Parker. Eliot turns to look at her too, and she has this sneaky little smile on her face. “And it ain’t like we’re asking for sex,” Hardison continues. “Trust me, I ain’t ready for that and neither are you. Just, you know… kissing and whatever else.”

Kissing and whatever else. Right.

“You both are fuckin’ drunk,” Eliot tells them, and storms past both of them and back into his house. They follow.

“I thought you’d like this,” Hardison tells him, and Eliot whips around… just fuckin’ mad. Like always.

“Well you thought wrong, okay? So just fuckin’ forget about it. I’m goin’ to bed. Ya’ll know where you sleep, so don’t let me stop you,” Eliot tells him before turning into his bedroom, slamming the door, and locking it.

They have to be smoking crack if they seriously thought that was a good idea. Because all it did was made him feel used.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The Fight

“Are those for us?”

Eliot turns around and see’s Parker in the threshold of his kitchen doorway, staring at a plate of food like it’s worth a million dollars. Eliot doesn’t say anything, just motions to it. A smile breaks out on her face and she comes in, sweeping up the plate with one hand and going in to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

Eliot makes a face and moves his cheek away from her, and he can see Parker lose a little bit of her happy. She lets out a breath as she looks at him, and takes the other plate too. “I’ll bring it to Hardison,” she tells him, and Eliot just makes a noise like he doesn’t care either way, because he doesn’t.

He was feeling really weird around both of them now. But just because he was mad at their stupid little idea, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to feed them both breakfast. Though mainly because he didn’t want them trying to make it on their own. The house would probably burn to the fuckin’ ground.

When he gets into his living room, Parker and Hardison are snuggled on his couch eating. He doesn’t say anything, just sits in the armchair, even though there was plenty of room on the couch. They both are staring at him, probably trying to figure out a way to make all of this better, or how to force him to come over to the Dark Side (okay, he’s never watching Star Wars again).

Seventeen minutes of silence while they ate. Eliot knows that because the clock on the mantle has been ticking down like a bomb ready to blow. Seventeen minutes until of course, Parker says something.

“It’s Halloween.”

Yes, clearly, being the thirty first of October and all. Eliot looks up at her, “I know.”

“We should go to a party,” she says, and smiles a little bit at him. A party. Yeah, right.

“You hate people,” Eliot flatly tells her, because doesn’t she? A party just gives people an excuse to be near her, something she never has boded well with.

“But you don’t.”

“Hey, I vote for a party. We can’t just all sit around on Halloween,” Hardison tells him, with a little smile of his own. Eliot knows what they’re trying to do. And… no.

“Watch me.”

Eliot gets up and gathers all their dirty dishes before retreating back into the kitchen. Hell no is he gonna go to a party. He fuckin’ hates this holiday. Everyone gets drunk, high, damn plain stupid and run amok around the city. He’d rather not be a part of that if he can help it. And he doesn’t want to party with them anyway. He’s still pissed.

“Come on, man. You never go out unless it’s to a bar or something. It’s a holiday,” Hardison tells him, following him into the kitchen. Eliot’s sure Parker’s right behind him, but he doesn’t turn around as he puts the plates in the dishwasher.

“Ya’ll can go out, don’t let me stop you.”

“But Sophie says-” Parker starts, but Eliot turns around and interrupts.

“Sophie can go to hell. Trust me, the last fuckin’ thing I need right now is another person around that wants a piece of my ass for their own damn selfish reasons, alright? So fuckin’ go out, have fun, and I promise not to boink the damn gardener while you’re gone.”

“You have a gardener?” Parker, of course. Always missing the point.

And no, he didn’t have a gardener. He can tend to his own plants, thanks.

“Eliot, we don’t want a piece of your ass,” Hardison tells him, and Eliot raises an eyebrow at him. “Alright, fine, but that’s not all we want. And frankly? A little offended that that’s all you think of us.”

“Yeah,” Parker jumps on the bandwagon, hands on hips. Jesus. “We like you for other reasons outside of your startlingly large penis.”

Both Eliot and Hardison look at her.

She blinks and looks at Hardison, “Haven’t you seen it?”

“No. And I wish you didn’t say anything about you seeing it,” Hardison responds. God, Eliot has a fuckin’ headache.

“Haven’t you ever walked in on him changing?”

Oh, right. She did do that twice before they even… god, who cares? This is stupid. “Guys, fuckin’ seriously… just quit it. I ain’t your sex toy, be happy with what the hell you have with each other and just leave it.”

“See, and that’s the fucking thing right there, Eliot!” Hardison suddenly rounds on him and exclaims. Eliot wasn’t expecting that much of a reaction. “We don’t think of you as a sex toy, okay? So stop acting like we’re the bad guys here. We aren’t using you, we aren’t screwing with your feelings, alright? Because me? I like you. I have all these stupid fucking feelings for you. You know it, Parker knows it. Alright? And I can’t speak for her, but apparently you did a damn number on her too. So if anyone should be mad at anyone here, man, it should be us at you! Cause you come in and you make everyone fall for you and then you just up and leave everyone! You’re the one who took us both and then made it so we could be together, all still while… DAMNIT, ELIOT!”

“Hey! I never asked you to fall for me! Either of you!” Eliot defends, the only thing that can come to his mind at the moment. He was still trying to process what Hardison said in the first place. How can he blame this on him? It wasn’t like his master plan to make everyone want him and then run away. How can he even think that?!

“Stop yelling!” Parker cries, but no one’s listening.

“No, you just started to be all fucking… knight in shining armor with me and my whole gay thing, all being so supportive.. You purposely took me when I was vulnerable just so you could have someone to try out your own little gay fantasies with!” Hardison yelled.

What? Hell no! Hardison was the one who made him even realized he liked men in the first place, he knows that, doesn’t he? Why the hell is he turning this on him?!

“And god only knows what you did to Parker, but one day she’s normal and the next she’s talking about you ever other minute. ‘Can Eliot come over? When’s Eliot gonna come over? Can we hang out with Eliot?’” Hardison mocks, I think he even forgot Parker was in the room.

“Stop!” Parker yells again, this time more desperate. Eliot knows how much Parker hates all the fighting, but Hardison ain’t stopping, so why should he?

“Why does everyone assume its what I did to Parker? Does anyone stop to think for one minute that she was the one who manipulated me?!”

“Because Parker doesn’t understand half of this shit, and you know it! So don’t try to pin this on her, that’s so fucked up!”

“STOP IT! I MADE ELIOT HAVE SEX WITH ME, OKAY?! I’m NOT stupid and I’m NOT naïve so just STOP THINKING THAT I AM!!”

That made everyone stop. But only for a minute from the shock of her little outburst… then Eliot was pushed back against his counter by a furious Hardison. Eliot’s back collided with the marble and he let out a growl, but contained himself.

“You bastard! How could you do that to me?!”

“Because I’m a fuckin’ slut, is that you wanna hear?!” Eliot yells back, and this time when Hardison tries to push him and get all up into his space again he grabs the boys wrists, twists him around and pins him all bent over the counter with his arms behind his back. He’s not gonna hurt him, but he damn sure is gonna hold him.

“STOP!” Parker yells, and the way she does makes Eliot and Hardison both look at her because it doesn’t sound like the sanest thing that’s ever come out of her mouth. “STOP! STOP! STOP!” And then she’s taking dishes out of the cabinets and furiously throwing them on the ground, shattering them, trying to get attention.

Hell, she got the attention. The pieces of glass were flying everywhere, and Parker already had a few cuts on her bare legs. Not anything huge, but if she didn’t stop…

“Alright we stopped! Parker, QUIT! You’re gonna hurt yourself!”

Eliot let go of Hardison, and ran over to Parker, taking another dish out of her hand and putting it down while Hardison ran over to her and wrapped her in his arms. She’s thrashing, angry, upset, until she just breaks and all her movements still. She’s not crying, Eliot’s not sure if she even knows how to really cry, but she’s breathing oddly, almost like dry sobbing.

Shit.

“It’s my fault,” she chokes out against Hardison’s chest, and looks up at Eliot with these big wide sad eyes that just kill him inside. Then she looks up at Hardison, “Don’t be mad at him, please don’t be mad at him it’s my fault… it’s all my fault… he told me no, told me it’s mean to do to you and I just… I just kept…” Eliot’s sure she’s crying now. God… this whole mess….

Hardison holds her for a little while, just stroking her hair and shushing her. Eliot just looks on this whole scene like its something from the worst horror movie he’s ever seen. And then Hardison looks at him, and Eliot doesn’t know what the feeling he has is, but he knows that for right now… it’s just over. No matter how pisssed Hardison is at Eliot, he ain’t gonna destroy Parker in the process. And hell, neither is Eliot.

Hardison lets her go, and gives her a little nudge towards Eliot, and then Parker flings herself on him, holding his shirt and just burying his face in his chest. Eliot looks at Hardison, and Hardison just nods at him, so Eliot puts his arms around the girl. “Hey, darlin’… come on, stop cryin’… it’s okay now, alright?”

It took nearly an hour to calm Parker down fully, but she seemed to have wore herself out with expelling that much emotion (which, lets be honest, she’s never been one to show much of any emotion, let alone a whole mess of it),so she ended up falling asleep on the couch. Hardison stroked her hair softly, and sighed as his eyes flickered over to Eliot.

“We’ve fucked everything up, man,” Eliot tells him quietly, assuming that by his look that they needed to… shit, talk… something. Clearly. “All of us did.”

Hardison nods once and looks down at the sleeping girl on the couch. “So you like me, I like you, you’ve fucked her, and she’s fucked me. Great. We’re just fucking… hell, we all need therapy.” There’s a pause as he’s stroking her hair, and Eliot can tell he isn’t done so he waits. “But I believe you that Parker was the one to do it… cause she…”

“She did it to you?” Eliot asks, confused. Hasn’t fucking Parker been number one on his list of priorities forever? How exactly did she make him do it?

“Wanted to wait,” Hardison explained. He lets out this little laugh, even though it’s not all that funny. “Treat her good, ya know? Like a lady, like she’s special. Like I don’t want just what’s under her clothes, you know?” He looks up at Eliot then. “That lasted all of six hours.”

“She tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

Eliot doesn’t want to just tell him Parker’s business, so he asks, “Did you use a condom?” Probably an awkward fuckin’ conversation, but whatever.

“Of course I did, I ain’t stupid. How she was basically attacking me though… almost not. Why? Did you…? Oh my god, did she give you an STD or something? Is she pregnant??” He was yelling in a whisper, or at least that’s how Eliot would describe it. But he didn’t wanna wake up Parker and hell, neither did he.

“No, man! That’s not…” Eliot sighs. “It’s her business, so nevermind. But no I didn’t catch anything and trust me, she ain’t pregnant.”

Hardison noticeably relaxed, but looks at him suspiciously. There’s silence for a little while longer before he asks, “So what do we do about this?”

“What?”

“This, Eliot. All of us. All of us and our fucked up little… whatever the hell we are. We can’t keep on just… shit, nevermind,” Hardison says and chews on the inside of his cheek. He just looks at him, looks at Eliot like he knows so much more than what Eliot could ever say, and Eliot doesn’t know what to do.

“There ain’t nothing that can be done,” Eliot tells him. “We can’t all be in a relationship with each other. It just ain’t gonna work.”

Hardison cracks a smile.

“What?”

“You said relationship,” Hardison says, his smile growing. Eliot rolls his eyes and flips him off. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that word EVER.”

“It ain’t like I’m allergic to that idea or anything,” Eliot grumbles.

“And plus, who says?”

“Who says what?”

“That we all can’t be in some sort of little… threeway relationship?” Hardison asks carefully, like he wasn’t sure if he should bring up the idea, and Eliot’s mind goes blank for a moment.

That’s… that’s… stupid, right? That shit never works out in real life. There’s always jealously, always fuckin’… just drama. More drama than what’s already going on. And how would that even work? They take like what… shifts? While the idea makes him feel better than the idea of them being their little threesome sex object, it still was… weird.

“How would that even work?”

“I dunno, just a thought… probably stupid though, right? Yeah, just forget I said that,” Hardison retracts, and Eliot lets him. That was… way too weird to even think about right now. Sure he likes Hardison, he likes Parker… but to be in a relationship with both of them? Hell to even be in a relationship with one of them, period? Wouldn’t that just be…?

It doesn’t matter. They can’t just jump into shit. Eliot doesn’t even know if he wants to… what? Fuck, he doesn’t know. He can’t think. So he’s just gonna let Hardison drop it, and wait for Parker to wake up. Just pretend this last hour never happened, right? Might be the only way to deal.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The Uncommon Relationship

“No more fighting?” Parker mumbles sleepily as she slowly wakes up from her nap. She opens one eye, groans a little as she grumpily folds her arms into herself and turns her face back into the couch. Apparently waking up wasn’t high on her list of priorities.

“No more fighting,” Hardison tells her, running his fingers through her blonde tresses to get them out of her face. Parker makes a mumbled sound of acknowledgement into the couch.

Eliot hates to admit it, but hell… she was kind of cute, waking up all grumpy like that. He smiles a little bit despite himself.

“Come on girl, wake up,” Hardison prods at her gently. Parker swats his offending hand away with a little noise of discontent. Eliot smirks. “It’s like three in the afternoon.”

“Tiered,” she mumbles.

Hardison looks at Eliot helplessly, and Eliot just shrugs. If the girls tiered, just let her sleep. “Well at least wake up for a minute so we can take care of those cuts on your legs,” Hardison tells her, looking at the few tiny slices that adorned her lower legs.

“Leave them,” Parker mumbles, and swats at Hardison again as he tries to get her up.

“Come on, they could get infected.”

Parker mumbles something that sounds like, “Don’t care.”

Hardison does the whole helpless look at Eliot again, and Eliot rolls his eyes and sighs. Fine. He gets up and comes over to the couch, and before Parker knows what’s happening she’s scooped up into his arms. She makes some kind of whiny sound that sounds a lot like, “Dooonnn’t!” and swats at him a little, but he carries her into the bathroom, Hardison behind him, and sets her down on the toilet seat. She makes a face and rubs her eyes with the back of her hands.

Hardison’s getting the washcloth and some antibacterial soap as Parker tries to be alert and awake to the world, but its not working out so well. “Mean,” she mumbles.

“Horrible,” Eliot agrees, just to amuse her, and she narrows her eyes at him before yawning big. Hardison kneels down in front of her and starts tending to her legs, and Parker lets out one more yawn before finally becoming semi-alert to the world around her.

“So all better?” she asks again, looking between the two men. Hardison looks over at Eliot, and his eyes catch his.

“For the most part,” Hardison tells her.

“What isn’t fixed?” she asks as Hardison turns back to cleaning her legs. As he takes out the band-aids she asks, “Can I fix it?”

Eliot doesn’t think anyone can.

Hardison gives her a small smile as he puts the band-aids on her. “Unless you can figure out how we’re all gonna deal with… this, whatever this is, then no, honey.” He pats her legs softly as he gets up. “There, done.”

Parker looks up at Hardison and smiles, “Thank you.” Then she turns to Eliot and peers him at that unnerving way that she can do sometimes. “Come out with us tonight.”

“Parker, I told you I don’t do Halloween. It’s-” Eliot tries to reason with her, but what she said next made him forget what the hell he was saying in the first place.

“No, I mean on a date.”

Eliot just stares at her, before his eyes flicker up to Hardison, who has his eyebrows raised as he looks at her like he’s impressed. Eliot’s eyes go back to Parker, and she’s looking at him expectantly. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? A date with two people? Hell, at the same time? Eliot would be confused on who picks up the damn check.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Mainly cause he has no idea how the hell that would even work, and if it would be as weird as it sounded.

Eliot can see Hardison’s face immediately fall out of the corner of his eye, but Parker’s face stayed the same. Studying him. It was kind of creepy. “Why not?” she asks, in this light tone of voice that just implied complete curiosity, and not at all something that signified defeat. But Eliot probably should know better by now.

“Okay, for starters… who’d pay?”

“Me,” both Parker and Hardison say at the same time, then look at each other. Eliot cocks an eyebrow.

“See? And I think it should be me, I’m the man.”

“I’m a man too!” Hardison interjects.

“But I asked you out,” Parker argues. “Both of you, though you,” she looks at Hardison, “Already have to go by default.”

“Women don’t pay,” Hardison argues.

“See, there’s number one,” Eliot tells them, just trying to make his damn point here. “For two, are we just gonna what? All fuckin’ skip down merrily lane with each other while we all hold each others hands? PDA and all that would just look… I dunno, like you and one of us,” Eliot indicates to him and Hardison, “Are married and the other one is just the kinky threesome marriage bitch. That shit usually only goes on behind closed doors, not fuckin’ paraded around in public.”

“Why do you care what other people think?” Parker asks, like she doesn’t understand that one bit. But she never would. Parker’s never been one to really even notice the world around her anyway.

“I don’t,” Eliot says. Which, okay, yeah obviously he might a little. But he’s not the only one.

“Eliot might be right about that,” Hardison tells Parker, and Parker looks at him accusingly because he was supposed to be on her side. “People are gonna be staring and shit probably.”

“But we all… like each other, don’t we?” Parker says, clearly now devastated by both of them not being into the idea.

“Yeah but girl… it ain’t something that’s exactly common,” Hardison tries to explain, but Parker just shuts him up with one more glare.

“Does that mean it’s wrong?”

“No, but-”

“Why are you guys scared?”

Okay, hold on just a second now.

“I am not scared,” Eliot tells her. He doesn’t get scared. Not of shit like this anyway. Worried maybe, but scared? No.

“Then why can’t we try it?”

“It’s just something that doesn’t need to be shown in public,” Hardison tells her, but now Parker’s upset. She gets up off the toilet seat and puts her hands on her hips.

“Fine, if you guys don’t wanna go on a date with me than just fine.” And then she storms out. Hardison sighs and looks at Eliot.

“Hey, don’t look at me, she’s your girlfriend.”

“Yeah well she’s pretty much yours too now whether you like it or not,” Hardison tells him flatly.

Eliot looks out the door at Parker’s retreating form and narrows his eyes. Great, so basically, whether he wants to be involved in this or not… he doesn’t actually have a choice in the matter? But looking back from Parker and then up at Hardison, he knows he really doesn’t. Whether he likes it or not, he’s already knee deep in this. It ain’t something he can walk away from anymore, only because he knows both of them will follow. And while once he did think he had a strong enough reserve, now? Probably not. They’re his, and he’s theirs. No matter how hard he tries to fight it, it just ain’t gonna change.

“Maybe we should just go… if it means that much to her,” Hardison tells him as he looks over at Eliot.

“I can’t believe Parker’s into something as fuckin’ normal as dating,” Eliot responds, still surprised by it. He looks up at Hardison as the boy comes over to him to lean against the wall next to him before shrugging.

“She’s still a woman.”

“In physical form, yes,” Eliot says, and Hardison smirks. “But she’s also so freakin’-”

“Special?”

“Not the word I was gonna use.”

Eliot forgets for a minute what their talking about when suddenly he feels Hardison’s hand brush lightly against his, curling his fingers slightly around it like he doesn’t know if he should be doing it or not. Eliot looks over at Hardison, and he looks back at him before he laces their fingers together. Shit, they were holding hands. They’ve never done that before. It was kinda… nice.

“Yeah well, you can be an asshole sometimes so I figured I’d stop it before it happens,” Hardison tells him, but the smirk is still on his face. And he’s the asshole?

“Fuck off, Hardison,” Eliot says, but it’s halfhearted, and he doesn’t let go of the man’s hand. Hardison turns to face him, and Eliot is very aware of how trapped he is against the wall. But he’s not defensive like he would have thought. Maybe part of him has accepted this more than he’s realized.

“We should go. For her.”

Eliot looks up into Hardison’s chocolate brown eyes, and it slightly scares Eliot how much they feel like home. He absentmindedly strokes the back of Hardison’s hand with his thumb. “We split the bill, me and you,” Eliot says, his way of giving in. But under no circumstances is he ever gonna let a woman pay.

“Agreed.”

There’s silence for a little while, and Eliot’s kind of just enjoying being near Hardison in this way. “And don’t tell me I look pretty or nothin’ weird. And I can pull out my own damn chair.” Just so that record is known. He don’t wanna be treated like a damn girl.

Hardison smirks, “I wouldn’t dream of telling you that you looked pretty, Eliot. You’re ego’s big enough.” But then he starts being mock bashful and says, “But I wouldn’t mind if you called me pretty, my ego can always handle a nice stroking.”

It’s probably wrong that Eliot’s brain went to a completely different place just by the world ‘stroking’.

“Something of yours needs strokin’ alright,” Eliot tells him with a smirk, which got even wider when Hardison seemed to get embarrassed over the comment. “Come on,” Eliot says, and nudges him forward. “Might as well go tell her it’s on.”

“You do it,” Hardison says, and Eliot looks at him.

“Me?”

“Yeah,” Hardison says, and Eliot can see him bite the inside of his cheek a little in thought before he says, “Do it like this…”

Eliot’s eyes close as Hardison’s lips find his, and he can feel the grip he has on Hardison’s hand get tighter. His lips part and he can feel the moan of approval vibrate low in the back of his throat as their tongues fought for dominance. Eliot was sure there was a point to this, but fuck, he forgot what it was supposed to be. His other hand finds its way into the back pocket of Hardison’s jeans before he pulls him gently closer to him, needing to feel him pressed completely against him. For what was probably only two minutes seemed like an eternity to him, so when they broke Eliot missed the feeling of him like he was missing part of himself.

“Go,” Hardison tells him softly, and tugs Eliot’s hand a little. Then Eliot remembers what the point was.

“You want me to kiss her?” he asks. Cause hell, he doesn’t wanna start any shit. While Hardison’s content with sharing Eliot, he still didn’t seem one hundred percent sure with sharing Parker.

“Well you want to, don’t you?”

“Wouldn’t complain about it. But you-”

“Need to get used to you guys being together,” Hardison tells him. “Because she likes you, and hell if I can have you… it ain’t fair if she can’t.”

Eliot’s weary about it, but at the same time finds he’s actually really looking forward to be able to kiss the girl again, as fuckin’ weird and out of this world that is. “You hit me, I’ll hit you back,” Eliot tells him, but Hardison just smirks.

“Just go, tell our girl the good news.”

Our girl. It maybe makes him smile a little. Man, what has he gotten himself into? If it didn’t feel so good, he’d wonder if he was insane.

He nods before leaving the bathroom, coming out to see Parker curled up on the couch with her knees to her chest as she watches TV. She’s got a little pout on her face, and Eliot wants to make it better, no matter how cute it kinda made her look. He walks up to the couch, and even though he knows Parker can hear him, she doesn’t acknowledge him. Still mad.

“Hey,” Eliot says as comes up behind her, leans down and wraps his arms around her. She looks startled, only a little, at Eliot’s sudden touchy-feeliness. She turns her head to look at him confused, but she isn’t met with words, only a searing kiss. He can feel her slightly tremor underneath him, just barely that he almost didn’t feel it, but it was there. Damn, can he really do that to her? He might have to give her surprise kisses more often.

She seemed to have been holding her breath, because when she finally lets it out it tickles Eliot’s bottom lip and then the shock seems to have worn off because she sits up slightly straighter, pushes more into him as she opens her mouth and lets him in as her hand comes up to tangle in his dark hair. While Hardison was gentler with his passion, Parker was more aggressive. Eliot isn’t sure which one he likes more.

When they break, Parker purses her lips together and asks, “Does that mean we can go on our date?”

“Yeah, darlin’. Me and Hardison are gonna take you out and show you a good time tonight.”

Parker’s smile was so wide she was grinning practically ear to ear. She turns around to look at Hardison, who’s leaning against the threshold of the door. She waves him over enthusiastically and when he comes over she practically jumps on him, arms wrapped around his neck as she kisses him. Then she turns, her back against Hardison’s chest as he wraps his arms around her. She holds out her hands for Eliot, and Eliot can’t help but smile.

Hell. Forget being knee deep, he’s drowning in it now, but it ain’t so bad.

Parker takes Eliot’s hands in hers and pulls her over to them. “I’m happy,” she tells them, looking up at the both of them with a big grin. Hell, Eliot would be lying if he said making the girl happy didn’t make him happy too.

How this was gonna work though, he has no idea. But fuck, they’re gonna try it anyway.

LA LA LALALA
PART FIVE IS OVER YONDER