The End it came
So for several months I have been terribly unhappy. I have had several conversations with Dario about how 123 ABC are different and I want it back. But *shrugs shoulders* nothing really changed. Im not sure how long I've known that it was over but I came to the distinct conclusion on June 21st (looked it up on my text messages for documentation purposes). I texted him something very personal, something very heart felt and I got nothing in return and I lost it. For so long I had held back everything, I had been making excuses for his overt rejections and still manner but I couldn't any more. At this point it was already decided that he was going to come down this weekend and I suggested that we stay together and use this weekend as a trial period. The weekend is here and even before he headed down I already was 80% sure that I was going to break up with him. When I made the decision it felt like I could breathe better, seriously felt like this weight had been taken off my chest and I knew that I had to do it. If just the thought of me breaking up with him made me feel better then I knew I had to do it. So I decided 1 more try and Im done. I made my last and final attempt last night. I wore the tiniest little dress I own just for him. I looked really nice. He didn't even notice. Or he might have but point was that I didn't get the reaction I wanted. He didn't hug me or kiss me or even hold my hand the entire 2 hours we were out. That was that for me.
Today after much back and forth he actually ended up coming to visit me to my complete surprise. We ate, hung out, and laid down for a little when he brought it up. I honestly wasn't ready to talk about it but he wanted to. Thing was that we both knew it was over. So I told him, "You're not my boyfriend. Im done." It was very calm, cool, and very mutual. He apologized for not being what he needed and said that I was a good girl friend which was nice to hear. He also said other things that I felt... I don't know...practiced like he had said them to other girls when they broke up. But the amazing thing was that our relationship was revived. We were actually kissing and holding each other again. It was like all the tension was gone and we were just there together in the moment. It was very nice.
I was hoping to see him again tomorrow to just end it. Like honor what we had together. I don't know if Ima gonna but even if I don't I happy with the way things turned out. We didn't yell or get angry. We just talked and held one another like we used to. *breaths* see I can do that now
Today after much back and forth he actually ended up coming to visit me to my complete surprise. We ate, hung out, and laid down for a little when he brought it up. I honestly wasn't ready to talk about it but he wanted to. Thing was that we both knew it was over. So I told him, "You're not my boyfriend. Im done." It was very calm, cool, and very mutual. He apologized for not being what he needed and said that I was a good girl friend which was nice to hear. He also said other things that I felt... I don't know...practiced like he had said them to other girls when they broke up. But the amazing thing was that our relationship was revived. We were actually kissing and holding each other again. It was like all the tension was gone and we were just there together in the moment. It was very nice.
I was hoping to see him again tomorrow to just end it. Like honor what we had together. I don't know if Ima gonna but even if I don't I happy with the way things turned out. We didn't yell or get angry. We just talked and held one another like we used to. *breaths* see I can do that now