4 non blondes
What's up
25 years of my life and still
I'm trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this
Brotherhood of man
For whatever that means
So I cry somethimes when I'm lying in bed
To get it all out what's in my head
Then I start feeling a little peculiar
So I wake in the morning and I step
Outside I take deep breath
I get real high
Then I scream from the top of my lungs
What's goin' on
And I say hey...
And I say hey what's goin' on
And I say hey...
I said hey what's goin' on
And I try, oh my God do I try
I try all the time
In this institution
And I pray, oh my God do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution
So I cry sometimes when I'm lying in my bed
To get it all out what's in my head
Then I start feeling a little peculiar
So I wake in the morning and I step outside
I take a deep breath then I get real high
Then I scream from the top of my lungs
What's goin' on
And I say hey...
And I say hey what's goin' on
And I say hey...
I said hey what's goin' on
And I say hey...
And I say hey what's goin' on
And I say hey...
I said hey what's goin' on
25 years of my life and still
I'm trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
i love that song, i am obsessed with it. it is the most amazing song in the whole entire world. marvin plays it on the guitar for me all the time and i just had to download it. it just has so much feeling to it, i cant explain it. i just love it.
kate mcneil's little sister died in her sleep the other day and i just can't get over it. i remember before i got my lisense, my dad drove me and stace to school in the am. the two of them walked to school together every morning and everytime we drove by them i used to make fun of kate cuz i hated her so much when i was in love with mark (for ouvious reasons) and when i heard i just couldn't believe it. i cant even imagine how her family is feeling. that poor little girl, she didn't do anything wrong. i feel so bad. i mean when u are that young, death is the farthest thing from ur mind...i mean u feel like u are immortal. and i think its just really scary and not fair. she went to bed that night thinking she was going to wake up in the morning and she didn't. ugh, i think stacy is going to the wake today. i mean i know i hardly knew either of them...but i knew of them and i knew who she was and it just kills me that this could happen to someone so little. i have never had anyone close to be die (thank u god so incredibly much) but i dunno i feel bad. real bad.
so i got my package, oh man i cant even go on and talk about myself. i feel so selfish. but my mom sent me a lot of nice nice things and i also feel bad taking them from her. she sent me this book called "enter sandman" by stephanie williams. i had read an article about her in glamour i believe. and it just touched me so much so i sent it to my mom which she than she proceeded to buy the book for me and i just cant wait to read it. 30 percent of the profits of the book go to damon runyon cancer research foundation so i think u all should go buy it and read it. its basically a book about her life, she just used different names. the saddest part about it is that she never knew the book was even published. she died at age 33 of breast cancer just before the novels release. and when i read the article in glamour, she said that most likely she will not be able to see it published in glamour becuase she will be gone. so sad.
yah so my mom bought me that and also she got me a hundred dollar gift certificate to abercrombie because she couldnt take me school shopping this year. and i was like "okay mom its not my bday, why did u do that?" and she was like "lauren if u were here in mass and at lasell i would of gave u money to get new clothes like i do every year. just because u are an 'adult' now doesnt mean i cant do nice things for u." and she was like "yah i know aren't technically in school yet, but u will be in a few months, and just because u aren't starting school in september like everyone else doesn't mean u dont deserve to go school shopping." shes like, "save it for january if u want" i was like omg that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me or done for me in the my whole entire life. i am going to share it with marvin though...just cuz i dunno i want to.
so i am working 4-12 today and im off tmrw. fri and sat i have to work 8-4. i dont mind though cuz marvin works than too and i like getting it over with and plus i get the whole night to be with him. i have like 40 hours this week, i only have tmrw off. but i dont mind, i need to stay busy.
today is the first night of rosh hashanah. ouviously i am not going to temple and i feel bad. stacy, andrew, and mom are going to services tonight. my dad has to work. i think my grandma is upset cuz we couldn't go to new jersey. my mom has to work tmrw and the rest of the weekend too and ouviously i am here and can't go either. happy new year though to all my jewish friends :)
i am gonna get ready for the gym and than go to work. i missed the gym yesterday and i feel guilty. but i did walk to and home from work and i didnt eat too badly. i am back to about 126 now. after my binge last week i was like 131 (i know mostly water weight) but i feel better now that its gone. im eating pretty normally i guess now that i am back on my meds. i dont think its 100 percent normal, but its pretty close. when i am on my meds i feel happy and when i feel happy i feel like i can eat normally (thats why im on them duh) but i still want to lose weight so badly...that feeling never leaves me.
okay im done. lata.
25 years of my life and still
I'm trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this
Brotherhood of man
For whatever that means
So I cry somethimes when I'm lying in bed
To get it all out what's in my head
Then I start feeling a little peculiar
So I wake in the morning and I step
Outside I take deep breath
I get real high
Then I scream from the top of my lungs
What's goin' on
And I say hey...
And I say hey what's goin' on
And I say hey...
I said hey what's goin' on
And I try, oh my God do I try
I try all the time
In this institution
And I pray, oh my God do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution
So I cry sometimes when I'm lying in my bed
To get it all out what's in my head
Then I start feeling a little peculiar
So I wake in the morning and I step outside
I take a deep breath then I get real high
Then I scream from the top of my lungs
What's goin' on
And I say hey...
And I say hey what's goin' on
And I say hey...
I said hey what's goin' on
And I say hey...
And I say hey what's goin' on
And I say hey...
I said hey what's goin' on
25 years of my life and still
I'm trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
i love that song, i am obsessed with it. it is the most amazing song in the whole entire world. marvin plays it on the guitar for me all the time and i just had to download it. it just has so much feeling to it, i cant explain it. i just love it.
kate mcneil's little sister died in her sleep the other day and i just can't get over it. i remember before i got my lisense, my dad drove me and stace to school in the am. the two of them walked to school together every morning and everytime we drove by them i used to make fun of kate cuz i hated her so much when i was in love with mark (for ouvious reasons) and when i heard i just couldn't believe it. i cant even imagine how her family is feeling. that poor little girl, she didn't do anything wrong. i feel so bad. i mean when u are that young, death is the farthest thing from ur mind...i mean u feel like u are immortal. and i think its just really scary and not fair. she went to bed that night thinking she was going to wake up in the morning and she didn't. ugh, i think stacy is going to the wake today. i mean i know i hardly knew either of them...but i knew of them and i knew who she was and it just kills me that this could happen to someone so little. i have never had anyone close to be die (thank u god so incredibly much) but i dunno i feel bad. real bad.
so i got my package, oh man i cant even go on and talk about myself. i feel so selfish. but my mom sent me a lot of nice nice things and i also feel bad taking them from her. she sent me this book called "enter sandman" by stephanie williams. i had read an article about her in glamour i believe. and it just touched me so much so i sent it to my mom which she than she proceeded to buy the book for me and i just cant wait to read it. 30 percent of the profits of the book go to damon runyon cancer research foundation so i think u all should go buy it and read it. its basically a book about her life, she just used different names. the saddest part about it is that she never knew the book was even published. she died at age 33 of breast cancer just before the novels release. and when i read the article in glamour, she said that most likely she will not be able to see it published in glamour becuase she will be gone. so sad.
yah so my mom bought me that and also she got me a hundred dollar gift certificate to abercrombie because she couldnt take me school shopping this year. and i was like "okay mom its not my bday, why did u do that?" and she was like "lauren if u were here in mass and at lasell i would of gave u money to get new clothes like i do every year. just because u are an 'adult' now doesnt mean i cant do nice things for u." and she was like "yah i know aren't technically in school yet, but u will be in a few months, and just because u aren't starting school in september like everyone else doesn't mean u dont deserve to go school shopping." shes like, "save it for january if u want" i was like omg that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me or done for me in the my whole entire life. i am going to share it with marvin though...just cuz i dunno i want to.
so i am working 4-12 today and im off tmrw. fri and sat i have to work 8-4. i dont mind though cuz marvin works than too and i like getting it over with and plus i get the whole night to be with him. i have like 40 hours this week, i only have tmrw off. but i dont mind, i need to stay busy.
today is the first night of rosh hashanah. ouviously i am not going to temple and i feel bad. stacy, andrew, and mom are going to services tonight. my dad has to work. i think my grandma is upset cuz we couldn't go to new jersey. my mom has to work tmrw and the rest of the weekend too and ouviously i am here and can't go either. happy new year though to all my jewish friends :)
i am gonna get ready for the gym and than go to work. i missed the gym yesterday and i feel guilty. but i did walk to and home from work and i didnt eat too badly. i am back to about 126 now. after my binge last week i was like 131 (i know mostly water weight) but i feel better now that its gone. im eating pretty normally i guess now that i am back on my meds. i dont think its 100 percent normal, but its pretty close. when i am on my meds i feel happy and when i feel happy i feel like i can eat normally (thats why im on them duh) but i still want to lose weight so badly...that feeling never leaves me.
okay im done. lata.