Sometimes the past just never dies

[cutiekrb]

So apparently Terry got kicked off his softball team based on what supposedly happened between the two of us. I guess since I've moved on with my life, I kind of assumed that everyone else had too. Apparently things are still affecting him. When Holly told me why he wasn't playing softball I got hit with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. I'm not really sure why I feel guilty. Some would argue that he deserves everything he gets....I guess we both do. Although, I argue neither of us deserve any of the crap we've went through. I just feel bad that he's still dealing with it everyday. I still deal with the memories and the loneliness of losing my best friend, but at least I was able to move on. :-/ I feel like I'm getting all worked up over nothing.

I'm frustrated right now. I feel like crying. Tito and I are arguing, again. Sometimes I feel like thats all we do these days. Tonight I feel like its all my fault. And I cried. And then I told him I cried which I shouldn't have done because he's never going to be honest with me if he thinks that everytime he is he upsets me. *sigh* The weird thing is that I do feel like the argument we had tonight was all my fault. Do I try to start arguments or do I purposely disagree with him? I don't think I do, but I don't know. All he wanted to do was spend time with me tonight and somehow I turned that into an argument. I just don't get it. I want to cry. :-(