**Need Out**
Kay so i need out of this house so bad to the point im ready to blow up. I mean my summer has basically sucked because my mom wont let me go do shit all shes like oh i always let you do everything you want..but we all kno that is complete bullshit. I'm at the point where just seeing her or hearing her voice is pissing me off bad...like i wanna cry so bad but then to think about it theres no point....shes not worth crying over anymore shes never going to change. I mean she bitches at me 24/7 theres not one day that goes by that she doesn't bitch. Its always for the stupidest shit too like i don't even have to do or say anything just as long as theres someonoe in the house or something to bitch about it gets done. Like for an example i poured a drink and i went to the washroom all of a sudden i hear my mom screaming '' GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND FINISH THIS DRINK DON'T WASTE IN THIS HOUSE'' like what the hell im not allowed to leave for two seconds... the drinks not going anywhere i'll be able to finish it later like seriously this is just fuckin gay. She always repeats herself and i bet have of the time she does it on purpose...like shes just so fuckin annoying already i don't kno how else to put up with her. The other thing i can't stand with her is how she always takes my money if she doesn't have any. And her excuse that she always says to me is '' i give you everything you can lend us you money'' sure i gotta give her my money but then when i wanna go out its likeno you can't you gotta stay in blah blah blah...like seriously i'm not a fuckin baby anymore give me some freedom...she like has me in this little circle of who knows what and i can't leave im gonna be 16 my 7 year old cousin has more freedom than me its just so gay already. She tells everyone oh mels such a good kid i dont have to worry about where she is because shes always home she loves being at home...thats fuckin bullshit...i hate being at home but im never allowed to hop on the bus or go anywhere so i gotta be in this shit hole...you kno because of my mom always fuckin bitching at me and yelling for stupid shit...its almost like i feel like im not good enough...its like no matter how hard i try something or how hard i try to help around i get bitched at that i do nothing when ive tried but no matter what its never good enough....like even when i made honor roll...you think my mom would be proud of me to hear that i made honor roll...like you think she would say '' good job '' but instead i got a i dont believe you bring me a copy of the paper and show me...that made me feel like shit almost like she doesn't think i can do good enough to do that...sure maybe my marks weren't all that good for a long time but don't you think if you made honor roll you would expect your mom to be happy....not telling you she doesn't believe you and to bring home proof? I feel so bad right now i feel as if im being the biggest bitch to tay and i really don't mena it like he hasn't done anything wrong all hes done is love me and be there for me and i feel as if im being such a bitch to him i don't mean it i really don't i mean i love Tay with everything i have and my whole heart but just because of how my moms making me feel i just....dont kno what to think anymore or more like not sure what to do about her. I just want freedom....im not saying like run around the sreets all hours of the night kinda freedom but like...let me take the freakin bus let me walk to peoples houses...just let me go do stuff and live my life dont make me stay at home all day because you dont want me going anywhere... like its stupid i can't wait until 2007 then im graduated and im leaving this house theres no way im gonna stay here after grad....just wont be able to do it...anyways i guess thats enough bitchin....
*melly*