growing up
so. today i picked up a needle and thread and decided that i was gonna attempt to mend those seams that are slowly getting town apart. if i dont start now. i might lose my fabric and have nothing left to mend. i guess it went okay. communication is a good start. for now atleast. just random conversations about nothing is how it began. then. the important part. fixing those holes that we're both feeling inside. they're not completely filled but were on the right track. talking is good. i just keep telling myself that. its hard though. its hard when you have that little devil on your other shoulder telling you that things just cant be the same, and the constant reminder in the back of your head that this could potentially happen again. im having a hard time trusting people now. not just because of this particular incident. but others aswell. what happened to elementary school when you walked up to someone on the monkey bars and asked someone to be your friend. right then and there... best friends forever. playing barbies together, watching barney. what happened to all that. i hate growing up. its all drama now. im tired of all the stress. i dont know who i am anymore. nor do i know who the people around me are. i've tried so hard to please other people, changing my ways, becoming someone im not, only to get it all thrown back in my face... i just wanna to live life. i just want to play on the monkey bars...