"I'll never let go"
Yeah, I just watched Titanic lol Made me cry like a bitch. I'm glad I watched it though. It made me realize something:
That even though I've been grounded all this time, and I've been depressed because I couldn't be with Timothy the way I wanted, that it could be worse; I could lose him completely out of my life. Atleast I still have that reassurance that when this is all said and done and over with, he'll be there with open arms to hold me once again. So yeah, I guess that's why I cried soo damn much when I watched it.
He left school today, I guess he couldn't do it without me around. I wish he could've came over, he was going to cause both my parents were at work. But my mom came home while I was showering for him, and I was kinda upset. But I'm glad, cause he got to spend time with Kris and he said it's been a couple weeks. So I'm happy for him. I want him to see his friends. He loves that about me, how i'm not so selfish that I won't let him go have fun with his friends. I'm glad he thinks I'm understanding in this way.
So I still feel shity, basically emotional wise. Not so much as the physical. I feel somewhat better now. I just, miss Tim more than I could even add up in words. I need him around. I hope he gets to come by today and drop me by my "surprise". I'm excited for that. I think I may have an idea what it is, but I can't be sure. All I know, is he is the sweetest guy I've ever had in my life. I'm surely happy now. And yes, I had good times with Joe and Bryan and others I've dated, make no mistake about that. But I guess... they weren't good for me. I know, Tim is good for me. We're SOOOOOOOOO much alike, feels like I've known him all my life. There's soo much good to come between him and I.
Well I'm gonna go, I gotta request Oct. 15th off work, That's homecoming. Timmy and I are going together. I can't wait. I hope to hear from him shortly. I want to tell him of my dream I had lastnight. Well I think I already did. It meant alot to me. I'm trying to figure out why I had it.
While me and him were in his room together, I got up from laying with him, grabbed a knife and cut down through the center of my hand. Then I handed it to him, told him to do the same. We locked hands and then kissed. ... What does that mean? Perhaps just a dream, or perhaps a soon reality. Idk.... I just miss him, is all.
That even though I've been grounded all this time, and I've been depressed because I couldn't be with Timothy the way I wanted, that it could be worse; I could lose him completely out of my life. Atleast I still have that reassurance that when this is all said and done and over with, he'll be there with open arms to hold me once again. So yeah, I guess that's why I cried soo damn much when I watched it.
He left school today, I guess he couldn't do it without me around. I wish he could've came over, he was going to cause both my parents were at work. But my mom came home while I was showering for him, and I was kinda upset. But I'm glad, cause he got to spend time with Kris and he said it's been a couple weeks. So I'm happy for him. I want him to see his friends. He loves that about me, how i'm not so selfish that I won't let him go have fun with his friends. I'm glad he thinks I'm understanding in this way.
So I still feel shity, basically emotional wise. Not so much as the physical. I feel somewhat better now. I just, miss Tim more than I could even add up in words. I need him around. I hope he gets to come by today and drop me by my "surprise". I'm excited for that. I think I may have an idea what it is, but I can't be sure. All I know, is he is the sweetest guy I've ever had in my life. I'm surely happy now. And yes, I had good times with Joe and Bryan and others I've dated, make no mistake about that. But I guess... they weren't good for me. I know, Tim is good for me. We're SOOOOOOOOO much alike, feels like I've known him all my life. There's soo much good to come between him and I.
Well I'm gonna go, I gotta request Oct. 15th off work, That's homecoming. Timmy and I are going together. I can't wait. I hope to hear from him shortly. I want to tell him of my dream I had lastnight. Well I think I already did. It meant alot to me. I'm trying to figure out why I had it.
While me and him were in his room together, I got up from laying with him, grabbed a knife and cut down through the center of my hand. Then I handed it to him, told him to do the same. We locked hands and then kissed. ... What does that mean? Perhaps just a dream, or perhaps a soon reality. Idk.... I just miss him, is all.