ASFKL;E9PA'UOGUR/UGJIHL;./FKL LOST!!!
WARNING,THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE SEASON PREMIERE OF LOST,MAJOR MINDFUCK,SWEARING AND FANGIRLING!
YE BE WARNED.
~PREVIOUSLY ON LOST~
- SHIT GOT REAL.
- JACK DECIDED TO BLOW UP THE FUCKING ISLAND
- JULIET SACRIFICED HERSELF TO "SAVE" EVERYONE AND MADE THE WHOLE WORLD BAWL THEIR EYES OUT
- AAAAND KABOOOM. WHITE FLASH. LOST.
- The scene opens with Jack on Oceanic Flight 815,who he looks kinda confused as to why the hell he is there in the first place. You and me both,buddy. Well I'll be damned,it actually worked.
- Chit chat with Cindy, blah blah,booze. The dialogue was slighty different from the Pilot.
- Rose! She seems as cool as a cucumber this time around. Is this like an Alternative Universe or something?
- Shit is just about to get real,but doesn't.
- Bernard! Gah these two are so cute together, I missed them. Something just hit me though. If they never crash on the island that means that Rose will eventually die.... FUUUUUUU D:
- Jack goes to the bathroom and sees some kind of wound on his neck and is confused as I am. He returns to his seat and FREAKIN' DESMOND IS THERE!! WHAAAAAAT?! HOW IS HE EVEN ON THE DAMN PLANE??? I mean I know they probably reversed some things, but shouldn't he be on the island right now? Probably headdesking himself for almost bringing the end of the world.
Desmond: I don't know who you are brotha,but i'm just gonna sit here and confuse the hell out of you and look pretty". Jack,as you can imagine, is both dazzled and confused. Later he fucking disappears like the GQ motherfucker that he is. That was weird,then again I am watching Lost.
- FUCKING HELL,THE MOTHERFUCKING ISLAND IS SUNK UNDAH DA SEA!!!! That shouldn't be funny,but it kinda is. AND FADE TO BLACK. I CALL OUT YOUR NAME.
- We see yet again what happens with Juliet and again white flash. Did they really need to put this there? I mean there was a recap at the beginning showing the exact.same.thing.
- Kate wakes up in a tree in the middle of the night and gathers Jack and Miles.
- Miles: We're not in Kansas anymore. NOT SHIT SHERLOCK.
- Sawyer then proceeds to kick the crap out of Jack,which he rightfully deserves.WOOO! I should've gotten some popcorn.
- Artz! Haven't missed you at all, but i'm feeling really nostalgic so you get a proper shout-out. In this AU Hurley is apparently the luckiest guy on earth.
- On Craphole Island, Hurley and Jin wake up and are share their confusion, while Sayid is laying there with a fatal wounds, NUUUU. OMG Hurley meets Jacob and Jacob tells him to take Sayid to some temple thingy to save him.
- JULIET MAY BE STILL ALIVE,OMG!
- On the plane, Sun is fangirling Rose and Bernard but Jin is back to his douchey pre-island self and is all "Shut up and make me some pie".
- BOONE! OMG I MISSED YOU, YOU PRETTY BLUE EYED BOY YOU! Shannon is NOT there. Dammit, I wanted to see her again. Oh the forshadowing,it's killing me.
- Fake!Locke or Flocke for short is making Ben his messenger boy and tells him to go and bring Richard. D'aww is he too shy to ask him out himself? [/gets shot] Okay fine, I was just kidding,geez.
- Ben, being the LYING LIAR WHO LIES doesn't tell him what happened but Richard is not having any of it and shows him Real!Locke's body. Ben is like "OH-SHIII".
- The Losties manage to get Juliet out but she dies anyway in Sawyers arms... DAMMIT YOU WRITERS, YOU JUST HAD TO MAKE ME CRY MY EYES OUT AGAIN DIDN'T YOU?! AND YOU JUST HAD TO SHOW HER DYING FUCKING TWICE YOU SADISTIC LITTLE BASTARDS!!
Also I may not like them as a couple (Skater for life!),but that scene was really cute yet heartbreaking at the same time. *brb getting a carton of handkerchiefs*
- OMFG,CHAHHH-LEEE!! <3333 I had no idea he would be back, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU MY LOVELY SNUGGLE BUNNY
FUCK,HE'S DYING D: Phew, Jack saved him but it looks like he didn't wanna be saved and tried to kill himself :(( Oh well.at least he's still alive. There may yet hope for him to meet Claire again, EEEE. Shut up,a fangirl can dream,can't she? I'm still not over them,THEY BE MY LOST OTP FOR 4 EVAH AND EVAH!
- THERE BE JEARS! Now it feels like an episode of Lost.
- Some of Richards goons go inside the statue thingy to get Flocke and they try to shoot him,but he's all "OH,HELL NAW,YOU ARE GOING DOWN" AND THE FUCKER TURNS INTO THE FUCKING SMOKE MONSTER ( I KNEW IT!!!) AND CUTS DOWN THOSE BITCHES LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS WITHOUT A SWEAT!!!!! JAW,MEET FLOOR. YOU'LL BE STAYING THERE FOR A WHILE.
ADKW'AP0RFepRIFTKA4R'[TGIRPTUERGTAROGUJSPTI;GYUTIO;YHUGTIOFGHJSRTIOYHSG;IOTHTISROH SHIT CANNOT GET ANY REALER(YES I KNOW THAT'S NOT A WORD) THAN THIS,JFC!!!
- The episode ends our heroes safely landing at the LA airport,while sentimental music is playing,with everybody (except for Hurley, I guess) thinking how shitty their lives actually are off the island. Charlie gets arrested and he gives Jack the stink eye,well crap. Everybody gets off aaaand fade to black again.
Episode 2
- Sawyer wants to bury Juliet (BAAAAWL) and asks Miles to help him while the others carry an unconscious Sayid to the temple thingy.
- At the LA airport some employee tells Jack that his father's coffin never arrived and they don't know where the hell he is. Ooooh creppy. I can think of one place though.
- Meanwhile our dream team carries Sayid to some wall where they find a small entrance in the ground,but once they are in they get ambushed by other Others,lol. How many Others actually are there? They lead them to the temple thingy,well that was convinient, wasn't it.
- Back in AU world Kate is back to her old awesome bad-ass self (hurraaay!) and manages to ditch the marshall at a bathroom,cause he's such a moron.
- Skate scene! Yusss, I was definitely not expecting this. Awww he doesn't call the cops on her and helps her escape,you go James!
- So turns out there was a reason why Sawyer requested Miles, cause he ain't afread of no ghost! J/k, he wanted to find out what Juliet wanted to say to him before she died. Which is "It worked". ORLY.
- The Losties meet the other Others and CINDY is with them,awesome.
- We finally find out "WHATS IN THE (BOX) GUITAR CASE" Turns out it was a messege from Jacob,telling his people to chillax and that Jack and co. are on the list-thank-you-very-much and they all owe him money,so they should keep 'em alive. I'm just assuing that's what he wrote.
- Jin gets busted at the airport check up for a bag full 'o' moolla. Sun doesn't say a word to defend him which either means in this universe she doesn't know English,or she's just punishing him for being such an ass. Since she hesistated a bit when she was asked if she could understand English,i'm gonna go with number 2.
- The other Others, oh heck i'm just gonna call them Jacob's "minions" or "bicthes". So they place Sayid in some magical pool no doubt and er,try to save his life by choking him? Alrighty then, their health care system probably sucks.
- Kate successuflly flees the airport and hijacks a taxi cab with CLAIRE in the passenger seat, yaaaaay!
- Man, Hurley is acting like such a HBIC, i'm loving it! He basically tells Jacob's minions to STFU and that their leader is dead and they be in a lot of shit. Also i'm getting such a kick out of all these protective circles ala Supernatural *gigglesnort*
- Flocke kinda mocks Locke's really shitty life and manages to break my heart in a million itty bitty pieces. Aaaand i'm tearing again,great.
Terry'O Quinn is positively killing me with all these death stares,i'm really creeped out right now. So Flocke actually wants to get off the island? I did not see that coming.
- Another Skate scene *squee* D'awww poor baby is so emo over Juliet,can't blame him.
- Back in AU LA Jack and Locke bump into each other again because they have both lost (heh) something. They actually have a decent friendly conversation and Jack offers to try to fix him. I hope they become BFFs, I hated their rivalry.
- Flocke is marching his way through the crow to Richard (like a boss) and Richard nearly pees his pants when he recognizes who he really is aaand Flocke kicks his ass.
Then Flocke is all "PEOPLE,I AM DISAPPOINT" and picks Richard up and carries him into the jungle. Must resist making joke.
- Jack has had just about enough of this bullshit and turns on his "JACK SMASH" mode when sorta predictably Sayid wakes up and is all "Whatnow,what'd I miss?" and end of episode.
Well my brain is totes blown. Ah, I missed you so much, Lost! It's gonna be a hell of a season.
In other totally awesome news - I FRIGGIN' PASSED MY EXAM,WOOOOHOOOOW!! It was such a close one too, the test was actually harder than the 1st one, wtf 0_o I wanna thank my F-list for being so supportive.
I love you all, hugs for everybody!
AND NOW I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (till the start of the next semester) Bring on the movie marathons,FUCK YEAH!
More TV shows recaps on Friday or Saturday and hopefully an icon update soon.