I've been thinking...
A lot lately....
Maybe too much?
Im so confused with everything i do..and dont do
School, Nick, Danielle, MY JOB!, my parents, any other guy that happens to be in my life, or maybe those guys who arent in my life any more that i miss dearly...
So many things that i think about, i worry about them all at the same time, that it seems like i have no worries at all...i know this doesnt make any sense but it doesnt make any sense to meeee either...
Oh but im doing good in school right now...really good. im trying my hardest and i practically have all A's which is like amazing
And Nick is sooo freaking amazing that i cant even describe him. He jsut soo sweet to me, i feel like i dont deserve it. I LOVE spending time with him and hes such a great guy, and an awesome friend. And he looks up to mee just as much as i admire him.
And Danielle and I are doing GREAT...but she makes it a point to bring up her and Nicks "amazing" friendship and asks me if i can have Nick call her to talk about Pat...Ok look, i understand that you have trouble understanding Pat, and Nick is a good source to find out how to deal with him, yes. Thats not what upsets me. What does is that you talk about how freaking awesome you are with him, and he says youve only talked like once. And the fact that if i was to even call Pat ONCE and say, "Hey how was your day?" you would totally flip your lid. you even told me that you would. I love you, If your haveing trouble with Pat, Maybe you should talk to PAT about Pat. How else do you expect your relationship to grow.
And My JOB! Sucks...on ocassion. I mean i love it from 5:30-7....lol...so out of the whole 5 hours im there, i only enjoy about and hour and a half...I just feel like My boss really hates me..I dont know why though? I freakign try my hardest to do my best, but every day i come in to find a note saying i did something wrong, or didnt do something. I mean sometimes, she can be really nice, when it was just us two closing and we talked. But I really dont understand her, but i figured i would just except her for the way she is.
And my Parents...Oh my parents...I love LOVE LOVE them sooooo much i really do! I jsut cant wait to go away to college....and just get away from my house. Its going to be soooo hard to leave but im going to feel soooo much better when i feel that weight lifted off my shoulders. Maybe once im going and my mother has not one to fend for her, she will finally grow up. This seriously makes me cry and hurts sooo bad to say that. But she is MY mother, IM supposed to lean on her and look up to her...but just the other night for the hundreth time in my life, she told me how much SHE admires ME and wants to be like ME....Wait a minute...this isnt how its supposed to be! Im supposed to be saying that to you! oh you have no idea, how much it hurts when i hear "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson...it reminds me sooooo much of you "I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me." "Because of you, I am afriad" I dont wanna turn out like you. I wait those few traits i admire and i wanna make a whole new life with them. Its sad that i was smart enough not to turn this into something bad or use use it as an just an excuse to throw my life away and give my self a chance to end up like you. I do love you Mom...with all my heart.
Well yeah i updated but it was sad, and i still have more to update..but i have to get back to my awesome job i was tellin you about!!
Toddles.....
Maybe too much?
Im so confused with everything i do..and dont do
School, Nick, Danielle, MY JOB!, my parents, any other guy that happens to be in my life, or maybe those guys who arent in my life any more that i miss dearly...
So many things that i think about, i worry about them all at the same time, that it seems like i have no worries at all...i know this doesnt make any sense but it doesnt make any sense to meeee either...
Oh but im doing good in school right now...really good. im trying my hardest and i practically have all A's which is like amazing
And Nick is sooo freaking amazing that i cant even describe him. He jsut soo sweet to me, i feel like i dont deserve it. I LOVE spending time with him and hes such a great guy, and an awesome friend. And he looks up to mee just as much as i admire him.
And Danielle and I are doing GREAT...but she makes it a point to bring up her and Nicks "amazing" friendship and asks me if i can have Nick call her to talk about Pat...Ok look, i understand that you have trouble understanding Pat, and Nick is a good source to find out how to deal with him, yes. Thats not what upsets me. What does is that you talk about how freaking awesome you are with him, and he says youve only talked like once. And the fact that if i was to even call Pat ONCE and say, "Hey how was your day?" you would totally flip your lid. you even told me that you would. I love you, If your haveing trouble with Pat, Maybe you should talk to PAT about Pat. How else do you expect your relationship to grow.
And My JOB! Sucks...on ocassion. I mean i love it from 5:30-7....lol...so out of the whole 5 hours im there, i only enjoy about and hour and a half...I just feel like My boss really hates me..I dont know why though? I freakign try my hardest to do my best, but every day i come in to find a note saying i did something wrong, or didnt do something. I mean sometimes, she can be really nice, when it was just us two closing and we talked. But I really dont understand her, but i figured i would just except her for the way she is.
And my Parents...Oh my parents...I love LOVE LOVE them sooooo much i really do! I jsut cant wait to go away to college....and just get away from my house. Its going to be soooo hard to leave but im going to feel soooo much better when i feel that weight lifted off my shoulders. Maybe once im going and my mother has not one to fend for her, she will finally grow up. This seriously makes me cry and hurts sooo bad to say that. But she is MY mother, IM supposed to lean on her and look up to her...but just the other night for the hundreth time in my life, she told me how much SHE admires ME and wants to be like ME....Wait a minute...this isnt how its supposed to be! Im supposed to be saying that to you! oh you have no idea, how much it hurts when i hear "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson...it reminds me sooooo much of you "I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me." "Because of you, I am afriad" I dont wanna turn out like you. I wait those few traits i admire and i wanna make a whole new life with them. Its sad that i was smart enough not to turn this into something bad or use use it as an just an excuse to throw my life away and give my self a chance to end up like you. I do love you Mom...with all my heart.
Well yeah i updated but it was sad, and i still have more to update..but i have to get back to my awesome job i was tellin you about!!
Toddles.....