Ok... here it goes...
What's up everyone? It's been ages! I'm not even going to try and recall everything that's happened this semester because it's been way too insane. So here are a few things on my mind:
I have learned that being a good leader is extremely hard. When times are good, you feel the rewards, but when times are bad, it's difficult to recooperate. I think that being in a leadership position is one of the most challenging things I've ever done in my life. I went into this year having such high expectations for taking charge of something entirely fresh and new and being able to mold it into something really wonderful. Sure, there were some drawbacks at first and a lack of interest and participation from some members, but overall, I was pleased with the way things were going for the most part. And then out of nowhere, it all just crumbled. I thought I could trust people that I thought were seemingly trustworthy and those simple expectations blew up in my face. It disappoints me that people can just flat out lie to your face without thinking twice about it. I've grown up my entire life with an Honor Code and it was really important for me to choose a college that had the same mindset about the value of honor. It really pains me to see people who take advantage of such a highly prized system. You can't use it one second and disregard it the next. Honor is a characteristic that may be the most valuable thing I have learned in my life and I hope that others can see it that way too. It really hurts me to hear people say that honesty doesn't pay and that if you tell the truth it will come back to bite you on the ass. This should never be your mindset about truth and honesty. You should value this above most other characteristics. But anyway, getting back to leadership... it can be very rewarding to see all of the hard work you put into something but when everything goes wrong, you feel like it all comes down on your shoulders because there may have been something you could have done better to prevent such a horrible downfall. But in the end, you realize it is no one's fault but the individuals who caused the wreckage in the first place. So to sum up: leadership is hard, it can be good, but things can go badly very quickly that may be out of your control and you just have to make the best decision you can for the group and hope that it all works out for the best.
My next thought will be on the issue of friends and friendship. I guess all of this started to become clear to me last year but I can now put it into words. Friends definitely come and go and you have to decide which ones are the ones you want to keep around. People change and sometimes you don't realize you're growing apart from someone until you don't talk anymore. Then it becomes more clear when they don't call or hang out with you and you just fade out of existence. It's been a very hurtful couple of years for me friendship-wise, but I've come to realize that you can't keep the same friends forever--especially when your views on a lot of things change and your friends' views are still the same. Of course you can keep SOME of your friends but not all of them will stick with you until the end. It's like a fishing in a way. You have to pick the best ones that you know will give you the most and unfortunately, you have to throw back the ones that will give you the least. I feel like I've lost a lot of friends over the years. I used to have a lot of friends here at Sweet Briar and I'm not really sure what happened, but now, I don't think I have one friend that I can call on to be there for me for anything. I guess I have a few aquaintances that are fun to hang around sometimes, but that seems to be about it. The closest thing to a real friend I think I have might be Ashley. I think if I was in trouble, she'd come to get me. Probably Jenni too. She's been a pretty constant friend. But I'd say that's where it runs out. And yes, it makes me sad, but I think doors are opening for me in other directions that I need to take. I know I'll have more friends in the future, but right now, it's pretty scarce.
That's all for now. I may write again at some point but I don't think it will be any time soon (too much work to do :P). It was nice to get some things off my mind, however. Have a good night, day, weekend, whatever. Hopefully you'll hear from me again soon.
~Christie~
I have learned that being a good leader is extremely hard. When times are good, you feel the rewards, but when times are bad, it's difficult to recooperate. I think that being in a leadership position is one of the most challenging things I've ever done in my life. I went into this year having such high expectations for taking charge of something entirely fresh and new and being able to mold it into something really wonderful. Sure, there were some drawbacks at first and a lack of interest and participation from some members, but overall, I was pleased with the way things were going for the most part. And then out of nowhere, it all just crumbled. I thought I could trust people that I thought were seemingly trustworthy and those simple expectations blew up in my face. It disappoints me that people can just flat out lie to your face without thinking twice about it. I've grown up my entire life with an Honor Code and it was really important for me to choose a college that had the same mindset about the value of honor. It really pains me to see people who take advantage of such a highly prized system. You can't use it one second and disregard it the next. Honor is a characteristic that may be the most valuable thing I have learned in my life and I hope that others can see it that way too. It really hurts me to hear people say that honesty doesn't pay and that if you tell the truth it will come back to bite you on the ass. This should never be your mindset about truth and honesty. You should value this above most other characteristics. But anyway, getting back to leadership... it can be very rewarding to see all of the hard work you put into something but when everything goes wrong, you feel like it all comes down on your shoulders because there may have been something you could have done better to prevent such a horrible downfall. But in the end, you realize it is no one's fault but the individuals who caused the wreckage in the first place. So to sum up: leadership is hard, it can be good, but things can go badly very quickly that may be out of your control and you just have to make the best decision you can for the group and hope that it all works out for the best.
My next thought will be on the issue of friends and friendship. I guess all of this started to become clear to me last year but I can now put it into words. Friends definitely come and go and you have to decide which ones are the ones you want to keep around. People change and sometimes you don't realize you're growing apart from someone until you don't talk anymore. Then it becomes more clear when they don't call or hang out with you and you just fade out of existence. It's been a very hurtful couple of years for me friendship-wise, but I've come to realize that you can't keep the same friends forever--especially when your views on a lot of things change and your friends' views are still the same. Of course you can keep SOME of your friends but not all of them will stick with you until the end. It's like a fishing in a way. You have to pick the best ones that you know will give you the most and unfortunately, you have to throw back the ones that will give you the least. I feel like I've lost a lot of friends over the years. I used to have a lot of friends here at Sweet Briar and I'm not really sure what happened, but now, I don't think I have one friend that I can call on to be there for me for anything. I guess I have a few aquaintances that are fun to hang around sometimes, but that seems to be about it. The closest thing to a real friend I think I have might be Ashley. I think if I was in trouble, she'd come to get me. Probably Jenni too. She's been a pretty constant friend. But I'd say that's where it runs out. And yes, it makes me sad, but I think doors are opening for me in other directions that I need to take. I know I'll have more friends in the future, but right now, it's pretty scarce.
That's all for now. I may write again at some point but I don't think it will be any time soon (too much work to do :P). It was nice to get some things off my mind, however. Have a good night, day, weekend, whatever. Hopefully you'll hear from me again soon.
~Christie~