the 31st of august 2007

[cutebutpyscho13]

well i havent written in my live journal for quite some time now....And what has been happening is that i fell in love with someone who i shouldnt love....a junkie...But i cant help who i fall in love with....and i dont regret anything with him. im so happy i fell in love with him...he in jail now though....the drugs got the best of him completly...he's so amazing and i miss him so much...he been in jail for a month and a half almost and i cant even begin to describe how much i miss him.....his eye's. his smile. his laugh...i just miss him so much...i feel like i havent just lost my boyfriend.....ive lost my best friend....he was everything and more to me. I cant see my life without him....and it sucks cause i cant just go and see him....now i have to go up to a jail where there is glass and a phone and it just sucks cause i wont be able to touch him. i wont be able to kiss him. or have him hold me...I miss him so much....and it also sucks cause i am with someone else at the time being. and i just dont love him. i want to but i cant....my heart belongs to jay....god....why does this have to hurt so bad....And i know now that is is sober he is realizing what he lost and what he fucked up....i love him so fucking much you have no idea....i hate that he had to go through withdraws by himself in jail....i wish i could have been there for him...been there to hold him....and take care of him....:( god im so pissed....everything perfect is to good to be true in the end it always finds a way to get fucked up.....

I love jason ray tomblin