learning or hurt....

[curvin247]

you know there are certain things that change your thinking. i have a quote that makes alot of sense here. "we change for two reasons: either we learn enough that we want to change or get hurt enough that we have to" and its really that simple. it might not be finding yourself in a far off place, or being in a new town, or thinking about settling down, or meeting the one you have been waiting for, or living for someone else. but eventually we all change. either from learning or getting hurt. but we change and we find ourselves in that change. sometimes its right in front of our face, sometimes we just dont want to. but we do. whether we know it or not, we do. and the funny part about that change is, as we change we let a part of us die. we let a part of what made us change, or what caused us to change die. cause as we find ourselves the only way to find that new part or that part we want to be, we have to sacrifice part of us. so we let part of us, part of our past die. we let it go.

so as i sit here watching dane cook and smoking a cig, this might be the first christmas i dont feel alone. its an odd feeling. for the past couple of years, all ive felt was alone. even with all the people i love around me, i felt alone. but now it all makes more sense. the people that need me around are the people i need around. and i have that.

so here i am. feeling not alone, letting part of me die. and yet im changing as part of me is dying. but no matter what we do the past likes to creep up when we least expect it. but everything happens for a reason. "I've found a reason for me, To change who I used to be, A reason to start over new, And the reason is you"